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Message
re: Question for fathers of the OT
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:01 am to AU4real35
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:01 am to AU4real35
quote:
decipher through the convoluted messages his dad shared with him. In that, also needing reassurance his father doesn't regret the birth of his own children. You only poll fathers on a question like this because you need questions answered to why he thinks way.
Thank you for being objective and insightful. It is much appreciated.
1
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:02 am to Paddyshack
quote:
I was simply asking how many fathers would suggest to their children that having children is not as great as they may think. I appreciate all of the feedback and I now know he is in the minority. But what he said is not a knock on me because he and I both know I would be a good father.
What everyone in here is conveying to you as fathers, is that we can't even comprehend how someone can think having children is not as great as one might think. And we would certainly never tell our children that.
That is the overall message from the fathers of the OT. How you interpret what your father said is up to you, but the rest of us fathers would never tell our children that and i would think the majority of us look forward to the adventure grandkids will bring us, not only the joy of the grandkids themselves, but to see YOUR family tree grow, and see the joy in your kids eyes as they experience the joys of parenthood that you shared with them.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:09 am to Paddyshack
quote:
This is when I cant take you seriously. He never said that. Lots of twisting of my words going on in this thread, as expected.
It's not hard to follow you being "crazy to want kids" down a path that means kids suck, and worse yet, "I regret you!" That would be MY fear if I kept telling my son something like that over a period of time. I jack with my son all the time, but he is 5.
Your dad can be a glass half empty or half full guy. The bitch ruined my life!!! Or at least she gave (insert number) beautiful kids.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:14 am to TeddyPadillac
quote:
What everyone in here is conveying to you as fathers, is that we can't even comprehend how someone can think having children is not as great as one might think. And we would certainly never tell our children that.
Yeah I have gathered that. What I don't understand is why the overwhelming majority seems quick to bash on my dad for having that opinion. If he truly sees it that way, who am I or you to fault him for it? It doesn't mean hes a shitty father or a shitty person because his actions over my lifetime outweigh him telling me that having kids can be overrated and that he may have done it differently in some respects. Hes been a great father. And I wouldn't just say that if it wasn't true. This is why I asked the question. It is abit confusing to me because I know he loves his kids more than anything. This is why I asked the question.
And then got downvoted into oblivion lol
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:20 am to Paddyshack
quote:
know he loves his kids more than anything. This is why I asked the question.
If he says these things, and you even somewhat believe him, then you believe this statement about him is somewhat untrue. Or you would not ask the question.
"I'd die for my children" and "these frickers aren't all they're cracked up to be" don't go hand in hand as statements.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:27 am to LSU alum wannabe
Hes voiced this to me and only me. I know he would never say it to my 2 siblings. He knows by saying that it isn't going to frick with me mentally. Im a grown man and he knows I have thick skin. I don't believe anything I have said to be untrue, regardless of me asking the question. My dad is my best friend, I was simply trying to gauge how many others shared his sentiments for whatever reason. Knowing the circumstances and what he has been through, it is not hard to understand why he may feel that way. That is all I am saying. I didn't ask for opinions about my dad, as I would think grown men would recognize that forming an opinion based on the little information I provided would be naïve and ignorant.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:32 am to Paddyshack
quote:Because the first time you hold your son or daughter will change you as a person. When those innocent little baby eyes look into yours the first time, it is an instant bond that is very hard to put into words. And I can't imagine anyone trying to steer someone away from that experience.
What I don't understand is why the overwhelming majority seems quick to bash on my dad for having that opinion.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:32 am to Paddyshack
quote:
What I don't understand is why the overwhelming majority seems quick to bash on my dad for having that opinion.
b/c that's just not something you'd ever feel as father, much less tell your kid.
Like someone else mentioned, "i'd die for my kids" and "kids are overrated" don't go together.
thinking like a psychiatrist, which i am not, sounds like he's just a weak person that always does what he's supposed to do, whether he likes to or wants to. He did what a father was supposed to do from what you've said, but he didn't want to. Sounds like people probably walk all over him all the time. Again, i'm no psychiatrist and this is a message board full of statements taken out of context.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:33 am to Paddyshack
Your father has scarred you regardless of you stating/defending him as a "good" father. It's apparent in your questioning.
Being a father is awe-inspiring and a true blessing from God.
Being a father is awe-inspiring and a true blessing from God.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 10:43 am to CharlesLSU
quote:
Your father has scarred you regardless of you stating/defending him as a "good" father. It's apparent in your questioning.
Lol no.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 11:03 am to htownjeep
quote:
Because the first time you hold your son or daughter will change you as a person. When those innocent little baby eyes look into yours the first time, it is an instant bond that is very hard to put into words. And I can't imagine anyone trying to steer someone away from that experience.
Everybody is different. For me it wasn't like this. It's the first time he was hurt or scared. Nothing bad mind you, but he thought it was bad. And they run to you. It's that moment. Or it was for me. You realize how dependent they are. How much you are it for them.
Posted on 12/22/15 at 11:07 am to Paddyshack
quote:
Yeah I have gathered that. What I don't understand is why the overwhelming majority seems quick to bash on my dad for having that opinion.
because good dads don't tell their kids the things he's told you
Posted on 12/22/15 at 11:10 am to yellowfin
OP is Paddy
Irish aren't known to be the pillars of that pater familias
Irish aren't known to be the pillars of that pater familias
This post was edited on 12/22/15 at 11:11 am
Posted on 12/22/15 at 11:12 am to Paddyshack
PaddyShack, here's the main thing you need to consider before you have kids or even get married. I wouldn't advocate having kids out of wedlock, although I may do it myself but I'm a different breed. And no, No one on here is going to admit they would tell their own adult kid, or late teen kid not to have them and have a vasectemy instead. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard of. Do you really think someone on here is going to have a logical reason for saying, yes I would tell my kid that about grandkids.
What's more important to you? The thought of raising a child or your hobby, social, financial and sex life? I'm 36 and don't have any kids and for years I didn't want them. Now that I'm financially secure sometimes I think it would be neat to have one out of wedlock, or marry but not have kids(I know that sounds odd). But for me, my sex life, work life, social life, hobby life has always been more important then a wife or kids. I'm a very intelligent and handsome man and I've slayed at least 30 beautiful women the last 10 years and many keep coming back I guess to see if I've grown up, after they get in and out of their own relationships. There's nothing like having a new set of tits and arse to squeeze on and stick my face in. There's nothing like banging 3 chicks in 2 weeks that all make love different. That all suck my dick different. That have a different face, a different skin tone, a different personality, a different way of thinking, a different voice, a different head of hair, a different bush, a different pair of legs. You can't really do that if you are focused on raising a family. My guess is many fathers will tell you if they are honest they don't have much of a sex life since having kids and probably didn't before that either. But, Ive known some men who had their first kid in to their 30's and it quickly lead to infidelity. Kid's plus parental infidelity typically means, based on my experience, you've got a kid who's gonna struggle in life especially with trust issues, emotional issues, mental issues etc. Moral of story; don't expect a sex life if you want kids
What's more important to you? The thought of raising a child or your hobby, social, financial and sex life? I'm 36 and don't have any kids and for years I didn't want them. Now that I'm financially secure sometimes I think it would be neat to have one out of wedlock, or marry but not have kids(I know that sounds odd). But for me, my sex life, work life, social life, hobby life has always been more important then a wife or kids. I'm a very intelligent and handsome man and I've slayed at least 30 beautiful women the last 10 years and many keep coming back I guess to see if I've grown up, after they get in and out of their own relationships. There's nothing like having a new set of tits and arse to squeeze on and stick my face in. There's nothing like banging 3 chicks in 2 weeks that all make love different. That all suck my dick different. That have a different face, a different skin tone, a different personality, a different way of thinking, a different voice, a different head of hair, a different bush, a different pair of legs. You can't really do that if you are focused on raising a family. My guess is many fathers will tell you if they are honest they don't have much of a sex life since having kids and probably didn't before that either. But, Ive known some men who had their first kid in to their 30's and it quickly lead to infidelity. Kid's plus parental infidelity typically means, based on my experience, you've got a kid who's gonna struggle in life especially with trust issues, emotional issues, mental issues etc. Moral of story; don't expect a sex life if you want kids
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