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re: Post your funniest joke
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:02 am to TheJunction
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:02 am to TheJunction
Did you hear about the guy that couldn't make a living making biscuits?
Yeah, he just didn't knead the dough enough.
Did you hear about the guy who was scared to make scrambled eggs?
He just didn't wanna whisk it.
Yeah, he just didn't knead the dough enough.
Did you hear about the guy who was scared to make scrambled eggs?
He just didn't wanna whisk it.
0
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:04 am to LSUsuperfresh
The other day I was downtown and noticed a new muslim book store so I went in to see what it was all about. As I browsed the stacks a clerk came over to me with a look of puzzlement, I guess I don't look like their typical customer. He asked if he could help me locate something. I asked, do you have a copy of the Canadian muslim immigration restrictions? He said " F...k off, get out and stay the f..k out!"
I said, yes that's the one, do you have it in paperback?
I said, yes that's the one, do you have it in paperback?
This post was edited on 5/30/15 at 10:05 am
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:07 am to bengalbait
Stupid, but it always cracks me up:
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says………
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”
“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. ”
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon …. Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree.”
“Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’t forget.”
“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree.”
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
“Pepe… Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”
“Luis, Luis MI amigo… What ees it? ”
“Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees a ham bush….”
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says………
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”
“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. ”
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon …. Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree.”
“Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’t forget.”
“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree.”
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
“Pepe… Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”
“Luis, Luis MI amigo… What ees it? ”
“Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees a ham bush….”
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:12 am to Matisyeezy
quote:
Ees a ham bush….”
deserves a :rimshot:
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:20 am to TheJunction
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:21 am to LSUsuperfresh
What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:21 am to burdman
Well I had sex with your wife
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:31 am to HeadChange
quote:
HeadChange
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:36 am to Pectus
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:39 am to TheJunction
quote:
Post your funniest joke
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:47 am to TheJunction
The only difference between your mother and a 747 is that not everyone has ridden a 747.
Posted on 5/30/15 at 10:54 am to SG_Geaux
It used to be called a jumpoline until your mom got on one
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:11 am to HeadChange
Little Timmy comes home from school and goes to get something out his parents bedroom. Opens the door and sees his dad doing his mom doggy style. He starts to cry and his dad just winks at him and says go to your room. A little while later mom tells dad go check on Timmy. He heads down the hallway, opens the door only to see Timmy doing his grandma doggy style. Timmy winks at his dad and says it's not so funny when it's yo momma!
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:17 am to TheJunction
The funniest jokes I know I'd get banned if I posted but I'll try one.
How do you circumcise a West Virginia boy?
Kick his sister in the chin.
How do you circumcise a West Virginia boy?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:18 am to TheJunction
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:44 am to TheJunction
Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? (No). Neither have they.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a black man? 8 row cotton picker
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a black man? 8 row cotton picker
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:55 am to TheJunction
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My alcohol abuse is destroying my life and my family."
The horse replies, "My alcohol abuse is destroying my life and my family."
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:56 am to touchdownjeebus
Two asian men walk into a bar. Bartender asks, "Why the same face?"
Posted on 5/30/15 at 11:57 am to touchdownjeebus
Statistically, how many Christians on average have an imaginary friend?
All of them
All of them
Posted on 5/30/15 at 12:11 pm to TheJunction
What's something men like on their pie that they don't like on their pussy?
Crust
Crust
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