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Started By
Message
re: Possible life changing decision on the horizon
Posted on 3/6/15 at 8:47 am to Ex-Popcorn
Posted on 3/6/15 at 8:47 am to Ex-Popcorn
HEY. My dad lives down the street. I see him 3 times a week
I didn't say all that stuff
My dad wants to hang out with kid kids and grand kids on the reg

I didn't say all that stuff

My dad wants to hang out with kid kids and grand kids on the reg

Posted on 3/6/15 at 8:51 am to Sir Drinksalot
quote:
Let's be realistic. 6 hours in one day in a car just for an hour dinner?
That's not "nothing"..
Compared to your son, 6 hours a day in a car is nothing, relatively speaking.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 8:56 am to jrodLSUke
If you're willing to sacrifice that why not be willing to sacrifice the job?
I cannot imagine living three hours from my children.
I guess if you factor in the paycheck for their well being, but I would think every single child, if asked, would rather more time with dad.
I cannot imagine living three hours from my children.
I guess if you factor in the paycheck for their well being, but I would think every single child, if asked, would rather more time with dad.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 8:59 am to Ex-Popcorn
quote:
You act like your situation is the norm. It's not.
quote:
That's like saying drunk driving is fine because you've never hurt anyone.
So most people who drink and drive hurt people?
Posted on 3/6/15 at 9:01 am to jrodLSUke
It's not in comparison to his son though. 6 hours is a long time to drive, especially considering the fact that he will most likely take on additional responsibilities with this job, being that it comes with a substantial raise. This usually means more stress, time at work, etc.
And again, I feel like people aren't understanding that 3 hours is an eternity during an emergency, should his son be involved in one. Not to mention little league games at 6pm on weeknights, along with a multitude of other school activities that take place during the evening hours on weeknights.
How long does the average little league game last? Let's just say 2 hours on a Tuesday night. He'd have to leave Houston by 2pm, possibly sooner with the crappy traffic, just to have a shot at making the game. Then, turn around at 8pm or later and get home around 11pm or later.
You're telling me that this is no big deal?
And again, I feel like people aren't understanding that 3 hours is an eternity during an emergency, should his son be involved in one. Not to mention little league games at 6pm on weeknights, along with a multitude of other school activities that take place during the evening hours on weeknights.
How long does the average little league game last? Let's just say 2 hours on a Tuesday night. He'd have to leave Houston by 2pm, possibly sooner with the crappy traffic, just to have a shot at making the game. Then, turn around at 8pm or later and get home around 11pm or later.
You're telling me that this is no big deal?
Posted on 3/6/15 at 9:21 am to Oates Mustache
Cost/Benefit
Benefit:
More Money
Sense of accomplishment
Happier Fiance
Cost:
Less time with son, disruption of son's childhood
Yep, way more cost than benefits.
Benefit:
More Money
Sense of accomplishment
Happier Fiance
Cost:
Less time with son, disruption of son's childhood
Yep, way more cost than benefits.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 9:44 am to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
3 hours is not that far. There are dads in the NE who commute that far every day. Quit being a bitch.
This. 3 hours is not that far at all. You could see him every weekend, every long weekend, holidays, etc. You said he may be able to spend the entire summer with you? I really think this is a no brainer if you ask me.
I wouldn't not take my dream job b/c of this. Flights from Houston to Austin are plentiful and fairly inexpensive.
Now if you were talking 10-15 hours away or across the country, I could understand the hesitation.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 10:09 am to SirSaintly
Yeah 3 hours isn't a big deal.
You'll still be able to be there for your son. Help him with his homework, go to his practices, take him to the ER when he breaks a bone, talk to his principal when he gets in his first fight. I'm sure your future wife won't mind you popping on down to Austin 3 hours away a few times a week.
3 hours means you'll see your son on weekends and holidays and at those times you'll be taking him away from his hobbies/sports friends.
But at least you'll have a job you enjoy.
You'll still be able to be there for your son. Help him with his homework, go to his practices, take him to the ER when he breaks a bone, talk to his principal when he gets in his first fight. I'm sure your future wife won't mind you popping on down to Austin 3 hours away a few times a week.
3 hours means you'll see your son on weekends and holidays and at those times you'll be taking him away from his hobbies/sports friends.
But at least you'll have a job you enjoy.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 10:18 am to Austin Cajun
Wow, you're in quite the pickle...
I say that you will be able to provide for your kid in different ways with both decisions. I would personally take the job and work the kid thing out. But then again, I don't have a kid so I'm not speaking from experience.
That said, I lost my dad when I was 9 and turned out pretty well-adjusted for the most part.
I say get that paper and be able to give him what he wants later in life... 7 year old's don't need a WHOLE hell of a lot. Wait until he's 16 and wants a car and then two years after that, wants to go to school... You're going to need a pretty substantial amount of money to "raise" him in the coming years.
Good luck.
I say that you will be able to provide for your kid in different ways with both decisions. I would personally take the job and work the kid thing out. But then again, I don't have a kid so I'm not speaking from experience.
That said, I lost my dad when I was 9 and turned out pretty well-adjusted for the most part.
I say get that paper and be able to give him what he wants later in life... 7 year old's don't need a WHOLE hell of a lot. Wait until he's 16 and wants a car and then two years after that, wants to go to school... You're going to need a pretty substantial amount of money to "raise" him in the coming years.
Good luck.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 10:22 am to yankeeundercover
quote:
I say get that paper and be able to give him what he wants later in life... 7 year old's don't need a WHOLE hell of a lot.
so much fail
Posted on 3/6/15 at 10:22 am to yankeeundercover
I'm a father.
I think I would take the job.
Sit down and talk to him and explain it to him like a man, he can handle it.
You are only going to Houston. Try finding a spot in NW Houston so you can get to Austin quickly.
I think I would take the job.
Sit down and talk to him and explain it to him like a man, he can handle it.
You are only going to Houston. Try finding a spot in NW Houston so you can get to Austin quickly.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 10:25 am to Sid in Lakeshore
quote:
Sit down and talk to him and explain it to him like a man, he can handle it.
If he can't handle it, give him the belt. That'll teach him.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 10:40 am to Ex-Popcorn
quote:What the frick do you mean? GFY.
so much fail

Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:10 pm to JB Bama
quote:
3 hours means you'll see your son on weekends and holidays and at those times you'll be taking him away from his hobbies/sports friends.
In a few years, he'll be taking him away from his hobbies/sports friends even if he stays in Austin. Apparently I didn't grow up in a Father Knows Best episode like many of you b/c by the time I was becoming a teenager I had my own thing going on with friends and sports. I didn't need my dad up my arse 24/7 and three hours away wouldn't have been that big a deal, especially considering it's only like a 30 min flight if that.
I'd take the job. You can still be there for your son. I'll stand by 3 he's isn't really far. My opinion would change if you were moving to New York,LA, Seattle etc.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:13 pm to SirSaintly
quote:
In a few years, he'll be taking him away from his hobbies/sports friends even if he stays in Austin. Apparently I didn't grow up in a Father Knows Best episode like many of you b/c by the time I was becoming a teenager I had my own thing going on with friends and sports. I didn't need my dad up my arse 24/7 and three hours away wouldn't have been that big a deal, especially considering it's only like a 30 min flight if that.
I'd take the job. You can still be there for your son. I'll stand by 3 he's isn't really far. My opinion would change if you were moving to New York,LA, Seattle etc.
this, haven't read all of this but that's pretty close by, and it won't be long to where the kid will develop friends/hobbies/activities to where he won't spend as much time with dad even if he lived under the same roof
Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:14 pm to Austin Cajun
I think you looking for the magic bullet....a good reason to go for it but I wouldn't.
There is no price you can put on what you give your child...
Jobs come and go.
Been there, done that, got a t-shirt.
There is no price you can put on what you give your child...
Jobs come and go.
Been there, done that, got a t-shirt.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:17 pm to 777Tiger
If you do the math on actual travel time from the downtown Houston area to Austin, and then his return trip back home, it's a long arse drive. 3 hours is at minimum 6 hours total trip and more likely 8 hours with shitty Houston traffic. That's not like driving from New Orleans to Metairie.
Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:17 pm to Austin Cajun
I have not read this entire thread, I don't even know if it is on topic anymore. I have never moved from a child, but I've moved from an SO and had one move from me, and the moves were due to career advancement. One moved all the way across the country! You will be 3 hours away, and it seems like you could still maintain a proper relationship with your child.
See if your new company would be willing to give you a friday off a month so you can have every other weekend, and have one of those weekends be a long weekend. You could leave Thursdays after work to get your kid, or book him a flight down Thursdays after he's off school.
You can also talk to the child's mother about the kid spending all school breaks with you.
If this is a job you have working towards your entire life, and it pays enough, you can make it work! and should.
See if your new company would be willing to give you a friday off a month so you can have every other weekend, and have one of those weekends be a long weekend. You could leave Thursdays after work to get your kid, or book him a flight down Thursdays after he's off school.
You can also talk to the child's mother about the kid spending all school breaks with you.
If this is a job you have working towards your entire life, and it pays enough, you can make it work! and should.

This post was edited on 3/6/15 at 12:18 pm
Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:19 pm to Austin Cajun
I would take the new job and have an amicable discussion with the ex on seeing your kid more.
ETA: talk to your ex now re holidays/ more time with the kid. and if you get the job, you will know you can accept or not.
ETA: talk to your ex now re holidays/ more time with the kid. and if you get the job, you will know you can accept or not.
This post was edited on 3/6/15 at 12:26 pm
Posted on 3/6/15 at 12:22 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
If you do the math on actual travel time from the downtown Houston area to Austin, and then his return trip back home, it's a long arse drive. 3 hours is at minimum 6 hours total trip and more likely 8 hours with shitty Houston traffic. That's not like driving from New Orleans to Metairie.
WN?
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