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re: Physical Affairs vs Emotional Affairs - Whats your take?

Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:13 am to
Posted by cattus
Member since Jan 2009
16075 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:13 am to
quote:

How would you deal with your wife being "in love" with another man versus just fricking him?
My buddy refered to it as "the heart cheating". I get it but acting on it is another thing. shite happens.

I was in an emotional affair once with a fine woman that had a boyfriend of 13 years. She was in love with me and professed it in snail mail often but she wouldn't screw me! I still have respect for her after all these years.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:14 am to
quote:

To me, an emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one. Sure, maybe they aren't fricking someone else but their mind/heart/lips are in someone else's yard. Emotional affairs could possibly even be worse as they are the emotional side of things.



Umm, no. A physical affair is far worse than an emotional one. If you're fricking someone else, you may not love them, but you sure as hell don't love your spouse either. It is a far greater disrespect.

I'm not suggesting an emotional affair is easy to overcome either, but when both types of affairs mean you don't love your significant other, the one where you're physically involved is most certainly worse.

Posted by 632627
LA
Member since Dec 2011
15406 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:17 am to
quote:

In love with someone that's not your spouse versus screwing a stripper?

That's how I read this.


Same here. My friends (all married) and I have discussed this. The consensus is that a random, one-off hookup isn't as bad as catching feelings for someone else, even if that relationship isn't physical.
Posted by Spaceman Spiff
Savannah
Member since Sep 2012
20667 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:29 am to
quote:

Same here. My friends (all married) and I have discussed this. The consensus is that a random, one-off hookup isn't as bad as catching feelings for someone else, even if that relationship isn't physical.


^This.

I'd imagine that the number is well over 50%. How many go unknown? They become very adept at hiding shite.
Posted by TigrrrDad
Member since Oct 2016
8201 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:30 am to
If my wife had an "emotional affair," I would never trust her another day in my life, but I might deal with it - simply from the aspect of "is it worth it to throw 20 years down the drain, affect the kids' lives, lose half of my shite, etc." Although it would give me a license to do whatever the frick I want from that point on.
If I ever found out another dick touched my wife while we were married, her arse would be out on the street as quickly as she could pack her stuff (or pick it up off the front lawn).
Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
87748 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:32 am to
I think for normal people, they're one in the same.

Barring some mid life crisis or other shift, the wife in what was ever a healthy marriage likely isn't going to engage in a purely physical affair. Of course, if you married the girl who takes a new selfie every day to put on facebook, you're already fricked and that's a genuine possibility.

But for reasonable people, normal wives don't get drunk and frick on a work trip. She might get drunk and sleep with a coworker who she's been building a relationship with behind your back, however.

Thus, I think the physical affair is just the culmination of an ongoing emotional affair for normal women. While the physical aspect may be the coup de grace, it's not better or worse.

Posted by btnetigers
South Louisiana
Member since Aug 2015
2332 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:35 am to
quote:

Emotional Affairs


This.

This is what mostly lead to my divorce back in 2008. Ex wife had gained the support and attention of a guy who was an old high school classmate. They basically were texting and communicating through social media behind my back. They talked about everything from our marriage to our kids. They confided in each other - only in conversation - as he lived out of state. Really sucked for me when I found out. She played it down, but eventually acknowledged that it was wrong. Our marriage didn't last but another 6 months.
Posted by NOLALGD
Member since May 2014
2792 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:46 am to
Sleeping with someone else, no matter who, when, or why is always horrible. Emotional affairs, aka catching feelings for someone isn't good, but it happens all the time to people. Yes, emotional affairs can be bad and can lead to physical affairs, but so can too much to drink, or someone just being an a-hole. Also, I believe worrying to much about emotional affairs can lead to serious control issues in relationships which are just as bad. I knew a friend who went through this and it messed up him, he began to think every man his wife talked to, or even saw in public was a potential emotional affair waiting to happen.

Posted by Mid Iowa Tiger
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
25163 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 10:51 am to
In my opinion an emotional affair is much worse for the woman to have. That is their main connection. A physical affair just washes off.
Posted by shotcaller1
Member since Oct 2014
7501 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:01 am to
quote:

I know of a case where an unhappy wife reconnected w a former fling who lived across the country. Nothing physical ever happened but she would talk to him more than her husband. Husband neglected her and she sought/received attention from the other guy.

Wife eventually leaves the husband and continues the long distance communication with the cross country flame. Five years post divorce, they finally meet up and the guy nopes out

The wife is now living a life that is near poverty levels while the jilted husband continues his six figure lifestyle sans the naggy wife


We really do need more of these stories
Posted by auburntiger4life
Member since Aug 2016
321 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:03 am to
I've never heard of a man having an emotional affair, physical sure but damn im married and she's enough of a headache why the hell would i want to listen to another woman bitch if I'm not hitting it
Posted by Hogwarts
Arkansas, USA
Member since Sep 2015
18402 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:10 am to
Most physical affairs start out as emotional ones. Sharing personal issues/things about your marriage with other women isn't smart.
Posted by wfallstiger
Wichita Falls, Texas
Member since Jun 2006
16080 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:14 am to
emotional doesn't always lead to physical but it is a slippery slope. by the same token, physical is always the result of some emotional need
Posted by AUsteriskPride
Albuquerque, NM
Member since Feb 2011
18385 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:17 am to
An emotional affair makes you absent from the marriage, thus breaking your vows. They are equally as bad for the longevity of the relationship. Regardless, the other spouse isn't always innocent, especially when the partner begs and pleads for something, but then again, before you step out, just file for divorce.
Posted by 632627
LA
Member since Dec 2011
15406 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:21 am to
quote:

Most physical affairs start out as emotional ones. Sharing personal issues/things about your marriage with other women isn't smart.


i don't really see how a physical affair wouldnt be emotional as well. Any type of affair would indicate to me a repeated act with the same person. If i'm repeatedly having sex with another woman (not my spouse), i can't imagine emotions not being involved; either the affair started out as emotional, then turned physical, or started physical and then turned emotional.

I do, however, think that a strictly emotional, non physical affair is worse than a one-off, hookup with a random stranger.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134318 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:31 am to
quote:

Emotional Affairs


Dafuq?
Posted by Spaceman Spiff
Savannah
Member since Sep 2012
20667 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:49 am to
quote:

In my opinion an emotional affair is much worse for the woman to have. That is their main connection. A physical affair just washes off.


For women, yes.

So, on that end EAs are just as bad as PAs.
This post was edited on 8/30/17 at 11:52 am
Posted by Spaceman Spiff
Savannah
Member since Sep 2012
20667 posts
Posted on 8/30/17 at 11:54 am to
quote:

TbirdSpur2010

quote:

Dafuq?


You know, Tbird. Where your wife text/messages/emails someone behind your back. Maybe innocent at first, but builds a hidden bond you know nothing of. Maybe they share pictures, maybe not. But the gist of it is this - they are involved emotionally with another person. Maybe they develop deep feelings. Who knows. But its an affair that hasn't turned physical.
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