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Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:34 am to Freauxzen
quote:
While the sentiment might sort of be true, to an extent, the reinforcement by culture and consumerism is what makes it possible to feel ok about doing it.
We just dont shame people enough anymore.
Look, kids arent supposed to be easy. They are supposed to be the thing you would sacrifice everything for...which innately will change you as a human being. And make you a better human being.
Having kids, when you really had to have them or die, forced people to be different.
Now, people can choose the comfort and the "no sacrifice" route, which often just leads to poor results.
What an arrogant, smarmy thing to say. Would you shame the woman who cannot get pregnant? Or the woman who cannot carry a fetus to term?
I've been a productive, contributing member of society for my entire adult life, as has my wife, and would gladly stack my existence and contributions up against yours, despite the fact that I am childless. And based off the hubris of your post, I can all but guarantee you I am a better human being than you.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:37 am to TigersHuskers
quote:
isnt the whole point of marriage to start a family?
What brought you to this thinking? Because the history of marriage has a lot more of its roots in property and asset accumulation/protection than it ever did in producing offspring.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:38 am to TigersHuskers
You do start a family when you get married. Husband and wife qualify as a family.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:38 am to TigersHuskers
I have very close family and scores of married friends who do not have kids. Honestly I don't think any of them got into marriage with plans to never have them, but sometimes life throws you different curves.
Bill Murray nails it in Lost In Translation. "Your life, as you know it, is GONE - never to return..."
Bill Murray nails it in Lost In Translation. "Your life, as you know it, is GONE - never to return..."
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:40 am to TigersHuskers
This take again?
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:41 am to TigersHuskers
Everyone needs to watch the opening segment of Idiocracy to get a quick overview of how this will work out for western civilization.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:41 am to TigersHuskers
quote:
I really dont get the point in this, isnt the whole point of marriage to start a family?
Yeah, seems like you certainly don't get it.
You get married because you love someone and don't want to spend the rest of your life without them.
Any other reason is why the divorce rate is so high. You don't marry someone because you're lusting after them. Not because they come from a good family. Not because they fit what you think you have going on.
quote:
Like you pretty much become roommates where someone, usually the man, still gets assfricked in the inevitable divorce.
I've been married close to a decade, there's no roommate stuff going on with us.
We have decided to try to have a baby. It might not happen and we are okay with that, because we made the decision together.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:42 am to MorbidTheClown
quote:
Not all people are fit to be parents.
The irony being that if you could subtract the selfishness, DINC’s would make great parents: smart, organized, educated, motivated. They'd be great at teaching self reliance and self improvement.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:42 am to Stiles
quote:
What brought you to this thinking? Because the history of marriage has a lot more of its roots in property and asset accumulation/protection than it ever did in producing offspring.
Having heirs is pretty inseparably intertwined with this concept.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:43 am to 777Tiger
My husband loves having the grandbabies over. I am not sure he loves our vacations now being kid centered 
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:44 am to TigersHuskers
Me and my fiance at this point are old enough (40s) that we won't be having biological kids (I'll have a step kid who is 17). And I have medical issues that would've likely made it impossible to carry a child anyway.
Who says divorce is inevitable? If you go into a marriage thinking that then you've likely failed from the jump. And no, we're not just "roommates".
The biggest thing for us at this point is the protections that marriage provides should one of us get sick or worse. There is also plenty of statistics out there regarding mental health when you're in a happy, healthy relationship that shows the benefits.
I genuinely feel sorry for folks who look at marriage the way you are OP.
Who says divorce is inevitable? If you go into a marriage thinking that then you've likely failed from the jump. And no, we're not just "roommates".
The biggest thing for us at this point is the protections that marriage provides should one of us get sick or worse. There is also plenty of statistics out there regarding mental health when you're in a happy, healthy relationship that shows the benefits.
I genuinely feel sorry for folks who look at marriage the way you are OP.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:44 am to TexasTiger33
Children are a blessing, but some might say those folks are living the life.
We know. We all “lived the life”, if that’s what you call life without children. I think I’m actually living now, with a purpose, having a child.
But you don’t need to get married to do any of those things.
Unless you’re super religious and don’t have premarital sex. But give me a break, most of the people the OP is talking about isn’t following that.
Minus the religious aspect, getting married is just a piece of paper. You can “live the life” with a partner and just be in love.
quote:
They have a life companion but aren't burdened with fhe trials and responsibilities of parenthood.
They can travel and spend their money with less concern.
I'd say those folks are living the life
We know. We all “lived the life”, if that’s what you call life without children. I think I’m actually living now, with a purpose, having a child.
But you don’t need to get married to do any of those things.
Unless you’re super religious and don’t have premarital sex. But give me a break, most of the people the OP is talking about isn’t following that.
Minus the religious aspect, getting married is just a piece of paper. You can “live the life” with a partner and just be in love.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:45 am to madamsquirrel
quote:
I am not sure he loves our vacations now being kid centered
not sure I would either, but I guess when/if you actually have them maybe it changes the way you feel about it
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:46 am to SallysHuman
quote:
That's what my aunt and uncle did.
They're 83 now... and pretty much alone but for each other. I don't even think they like each other.
They have gotten more miserable the older they've gotten... they do all kinds of stuff, but don't seem to enjoy it. They go on Alaska cruises and take pictures of sleeping strangers... the photos they used to share with us was always pictures of plants or their newest Elvis knickknack.
You think that this existence is exclusive to couples who didn't have children??
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:47 am to MikeBRLA
Honestly most of the folks enthusiastically making babies these days I wish would follow this route instead.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:48 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:we have no children together also and would absolutely still be married for these reasons even if we did not have children from previous marriage.
The biggest thing for us at this point is the protections that marriage provides should one of us get sick or worse. There is also plenty of statistics out there regarding mental health when you're in a happy, healthy relationship that shows the benefits.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:51 am to Pettifogger
quote:
Having heirs is pretty inseparably intertwined with this concept.
Since when you can’t have heirs unless they were born inside a marriage??
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:51 am to TigersHuskers
In the last 2 years, my gf and I have travelled to Dallas, Orlando, New Orleans, Edinburgh & the Highlands of Scotland, Vienna Austria, and Mexico twice.
Have fun spending all of your spare change on gate fees for a baseball tournament in Southhaven, MS and a trip once a year to Gulf Shores.
Have fun spending all of your spare change on gate fees for a baseball tournament in Southhaven, MS and a trip once a year to Gulf Shores.
Posted on 1/23/26 at 11:54 am to TigersHuskers
quote:It wasn’t for us. Neither of us wanted kids and now we are retired, sitting on enough funds where we can do what we want as much as we want and we having a blast
I really dont get the point in this
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