Pat Robertson suffers stroke

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1) Men with “rebellious” wives should live where wife-beating is legal. When a caller complained that his wife insults him and once raised a hand to him, Robertson lamented the end of legal wife-beating. “I don’t think we condone wife-beating these days but something has got to be done,” he whined. After characterizing the wife as someone who “does not understand authority,” he “jokingly” recommended that the husband move to Saudi Arabia, so that he can legally batter her.

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2) You should cast demons out of secondhand clothes you buy, lest their previous owner’s evil infect you.After a “700 Club” viewer asked if her mother was right to believe that clothes bought at a resale shop might have demons hiding in them, Robertson recommended praying over them as a precautionary measure. “Hey, it ain’t going to hurt anything to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes,” he said, adding that witches may have cursed the secondhand clothes. While the effectiveness of physical washing of clothes can be determined by visual and olfactory assessment, it’s unclear how one can tell if you’ve prayed the demons out of your clothes. Robertson was mum on how to make this determination.

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3) God punishes people for having too much education. When a viewer asked Robertson why there are more “miracles” in Africa than in the U.S.--mind you, no statistics were offered to support this contention--Robertson blamed the supposed overeducation of Americans. “People overseas didn't go to Ivy League schools,” he chuckled, unaware that 20% of Harvard’s students come from outside the U.S. He went on to blame “skepticism and science” for God’s miracle reticence, saying, “We are so sophisticated, we think we've got everything figured out. We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn't real, we know about all this stuff.”

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4) Women just discovered porn, and quite possibly sex. Robertson thought it advisable to embarrass one of his female co-hosts by asking her about Fifty Shades of Gray. “You’re a sweet Christian girl. Do you see anything in porn that attracts you at all?” he asked, as if there was a chance in the world she would say yes no matter how she actually felt about the situation. After she gave the obligatory denial, Robertson expressed his utter bewilderment at this new interest the female gender has in erotic materials. “The thing that shocks me. We always thought this was a male thing,” he said. “But now it looks like 30% of women are involved in pornography.” He expressed particular surprise that the author of Fifty Shades does not look like a “glamour queen,” as if the only thing that could possibly be more surprising than a woman showing interest in sex is an ordinary-looking woman showing interest in sex.

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