re: Parents with Alzheimers? Anyone here dealing with this?

My mom developed Alzheimer's......luckily it never progressed to where she had behavior problems and she lived till 92.5

Dr Richard Gold, neurologist, in Baton Rouge was a godsend. Not sure if he is still practicing.......If so I'd try him

My mother has it. We initially moved her to an independent living facility but she never got used to it. She wandered out routinely, so her stay was short lived. We tried having her live with us but that didn't last either. She became incontinent and would resolve it by stripping naked. It was not a good fit in a house with three teenage boys to see their grandmother like that. She would wake up not knowing where she was. There was no way we could leave her alone knowing she might not be there when we returned.

Accept the inevitable. You will have to talk her into staying at a memory care facility that limits the ability of residents to leave. Solicit the help of her doctor. Get her to sign an agreement with you where she agrees with her doctor's diagnosis and care plan. That agreement will be for you. It will be for you to look at whenever you feel guilty for doing what must be done.

Take her to an attorney if you haven't already for power of attorney, both legal and medical.

Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing the most rational thing for the right reasons. When you know you are doing the right thing for the right reasons, there is no reason to feel guilty.

Her experience will be unique to her personality and health. Your experience will be unique too. You will appreciate your life's blessings in so many ways and no hardship will seem insurmountable.

Also start accepting that this is a gift. So many people lose their loved ones tragically and unexpectedly. In my opinion, those circumstances are much more difficult to accept. You get the gift of a long goodbye.

You have my deepest sympathies. My mother has advanced Alzheimers. All Alzheimers patients are different, and the disease progresses differently for all of them.

My mother was first diagnosed in 2007. In 2010 we put her into assisted living at St. James Place, and she was doing well there for about a year. In June of 2011, Mom fell. She broke her collar bone and dislocated her shoulder. She lost ability to control her dominant right arm while it was immobilized. This affected her balance, and made her a serious fall risk so she could no longer live assisted living. She ultimately lost the ability to walk without assistance. She required nursing care.

Nursing care sucked for Mom. There were inadequate social activities. The nursing personnel followed a very regimented schedule to manage all of the patients under their care. She was not getting the human interaction that she still enjoyed. Her unhappiness led my father and me to build a house where we could take care of Mom with the assistance of personal care attendants.

Building the house and having Mom live with us was the best decision for our family. Our house is a single story home with good wheel chair accessibility. Mom has been happy for the 4+ years we have lived in the house. It hasn't been easy to take care of her, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Father takes care of my mom. My suggestion would be, like others have said, to try and find a caretaker or facility. It's been a real grind on my family and it's truly sad. My mother had multiple degrees and can't tell you how old I am now. Plus, the mood swings and wandering can be super stressful on my father. If you can swing it, get help. God Bless and I wish you the best.

Building a house and taking care of her is a bad idea. You will certainly come to regret it as the disease continues to progress. Definitely recommend a nursing home that specializes in alzheimers. It will make your life and hers so much better.