re: Parents with Alzheimers? Anyone here dealing with this?

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What is your mom's age?

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mid 70's and fully independent until a few months ago

My quote: Lawyer say i can pay myself $7500 a month as her 24/7 caretaker (which I will put into a trust fund to care for her that cannot be counted as as asset of hers)

Vette Guy: I am not sure this is accurate.

We saw a top attorney yesterday who assured us that this is the way to go in order to create a trust for mom that was not considered to be her assett. I will be providing care 24/7 (along with my husband). We made sure to find an attny who specialized in elderly affairs and how to best plan for it. he is certified and has many accreditation in that area and was highly recommended.

I am prepared for the worst of it. I know how bad it can be as it runs in my moms family. I have backup help i can call if needed, there is money to hire help when needed.

Basically this will likely be just a 6-12 month situation while she still has some wits about her. She is stage1-2 but declining rapidly.

The little house is my tiny guest house which we are adapting to her needs.

She needs to be in a nursing home. I know it isn't cheap. I know you don't want strangers dealing with her and you want to do it yourself. I've seen what this disease can do. Let the professionals handle it, if possible. If you build her a small house, you will have to get her a live in nurse or something. This is a 24 hour disease, especially in the late stages and she will need someone watching her at night.

haven't read through the replies, sorry if redundant, my Dad had it and it is the cruelest of diseases, based on our experience I would recommend a home equipped to deal with Alzheimers as opposed to building a guest house, she is basically reverting back to an infant and will eventually need attention 24/7, it's very hard mentally and physically on the "survivors," best of luck

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My husband's family owns a top notch nursing home and assisted living facility. I have spent a lot of time there so i know how well it is run and the privileges the patients have and how happy and competent the staff is.

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Well this is what we call a blessing. Anyway, I'm saying some prayers for you and your family.

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Does anyone have any experience in dealing with caring for an Alz patient and how to keep them busy, happy, medicated, safe, etc.

Also, what good Drs are there in BR that deal with AZ patients?

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My Mom died of this a few years back so my prayers are with you.

As for keeping them busy/happy, check out Charlie's Place in Baton Rouge. Essentially "day care" for Alzheimer's patients.

I used Dr. Gerald Dynes at Baton Rouge Clinic but quite frankly, there is not much doctors can do (other than sign off on home health, prescribe meds, etc.

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The Power of Attorney (Durable, medical, financial, etc) are all in order as she is still cognizant of those matters. i know this is going to be hellish at times but I thought this was the solution that suited our situation best. Sadly I think her decline will be rapid.

I can hire help or she can go back to the nursing home at any time that things become that bad. In the meantime I will be banking her money in a trust for her care. i just want the best for her and although this will turn my life upside down for quite a while, it is what i feel is best for her.

It may not be what it best for me but in the end , i will rest easier knowing that i did my best as a daughter to give her as much of her time with me while she still knows who I am and where she is.

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My father died from Alzheimer's last year after a 10 year decline. The lingering is the hardest. You sound like you have all the right advice, but let me say this based on experience. Being a caretaker is the absolute hardest thing you'll ever do. Get some part-time help initially (there are non-nursing sitter services that are relatively inexpensive). If you're around 24-7 you'll still need and appreciate this.

You'll get to a point if she's anything like my dad where he absolutely cannot live outside of a nursing home environment--at that point that IS the best thing you can do for her. It's hard not to feel bad about it but there's no option at a certain point. I know you mentioned private pay/medicare, but once your private pay funds run out medicare will kick in to pay for her care.

If and when you get to this point, make sure that all moneys from her accounts to you are well-accounted for as the government does a five-year lookback.

Good luck and bless you--it's quite the road to travel.

Building her a maw-in-law suite on your lot may seem like a good idea now, but you might want to look at factors like her age now, the rate of progression of symptoms, and the amount of supervision she needs from last month to this month before you begin the project.

What I mean is, she may not be able to live in it very long depending on rate of decline. Some people have a very slow progression and are near WFL for long periods of time.

BUT

If she were to fall and break a hip, develop a urinary tract infection, come down with a cold/ pneumonia...any of these things including a stroke or MI could increase the symptoms exponentially, and the decline can be permanent in most cases.

Basically, before you even finish the floors and appliances, something could happen to her rendering your whole plan moot.


ETA: If you have medical and $ POA, get her advanced directive written up now while she is able to sign her consent to it...not that you NEED her to sign it with POA, but it saves arguments with siblings over decisions you have to make about her care. Make sure she doesn't want artificial life support, peg tube feedings, resuscitation, ex. unless there is a reasonable expectation by the docs for recovery....but remember, the docs will be hard pressed to give a positive prognosis for her if something does happen. Alz is kinda like Ca in that when it gets a foothold...its an MFer.

In my experience, there's nothing worse than seeing late stage pts feed and hydrated by tubes and lines to lay there in the fetal position unable to communicate or even open their eyes in some cases.

****NOT agreeing to peg tubes/ life support measures are a lot easier to refuse off the bat than they are to remove/ turn off AFTER they are in use.******

Mother had it for over 15 years. Succumbed to it last March. My two sisters and I rotated care for her throughout with part time sitter care. There at the end she would have her good days and bad. She was also diagnosed with cognititive heart disease. She absolutely adored me, my sisters not as much. I would walk in with a hat on and she would light up the room with her smile. My wife once put her hair up to see if she would do the same to her, and she did. It was tough. Seems every six months she would get a urinary tract infection. That would really knock her down. Still had a great appetite throughout. Our main concern was just keeping her away from colds and flu during the winter time. Plus being careful not to fall. Up until about five years ago she loved to here hear generations music. She could sing along as if she was 20. Would put tears in my eyes. She did at 89. Good luck.

Never dealt with Alzheimer's, but my father had early on set dementia and passed away last year.

I have to say, losing your mind is a terrible, terrible way to go out.