re: Online Dating horror stories

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I finally just deleted the app. I've swiped right on probably 2000 chicks and only matched with 4. One chick I messaged told me she swiped right by mistake and to leave her alone. Pretty depressing when I think about it.

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LOOOOOOL!

My worst was nothing but a chick who just talked about her ex the whole time. Clearly not over him. He is a very well know BTR radio personality though.

The others were all very lovely women, just not right for me.

Although I did successfully pull off the FWB thing with one for a few months and we are still friends today.

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Back in the early days of the internet before dating sites were a thing, there was a chat site called Freetown. This would have been in early 1998. I met this random Australian girl and we began talking on the site on a regular basis, and later on ICQ and *gasp* even mailed letters. She wanted me to come to Oz to meet here, and I figured what the hell...she may turn out to be an axe murderer but I have an excuse to visit someplace cool. So I went for three weeks at Christmas/New Years 98/99. The first movie we saw together was "You've Got Mail." She ended up visiting me in April 1999 and we got married in June 1999 and here we are eighteen years and three kids later still happily married.

So no, no horror stories.

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Dad?! Is that you? Why did you leave your first family. All we wanted was to love you.

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Me and a buddy had a system where we’d swap trucks and apartments in case one ever came back knocking on the door.

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How do you know when they're coming back if they come back? Do you just answer the door and say it's not your apartment or truck?

I did a dating once or twice. It was so long ago - I think I completed a personality test and took a picture. Well anyway they sent me a picture and a profile. I couldn’t tell much from the picture so we decided to meet at Copeland’s.
I saw this chick drive up in a f-250 or similar and by looking at her profile she looked pretty stout. Sure enough she looked like she ate my true date. We chatted, I drank, she ate. I was praying that no one I knew saw me with her. We parted ways after about a hour. I called the next day and cancelled my contract.

I agreed to meet one guy at a restaurant and he was already at a bar with a martini waiting for me. I didn't drink martinis and wouldn't drink one I didn't see prepared, so it pissed him off slightly when I refused the drink. We never got called for a table so I asked him if he was sure we were on the list. He said that he was on Atkins and had a surprise dinner for me at his apt. I suggested the mexican restaurant next door instead although it would be challenging for his diet and let him drive us there. He had a police light on his dash. He said it was so he would be taken more seriously at his job, representing the fire chief. He sold educational materials to fire stations. I said it seemed to be a way to pull girls over on rural roads and that it's probably not going to work out. He still called after that for another date.

We met for dinner and drinks, one thing led to another and we ended up at her place.

We made out for a while so I slipped my hand under them panies, her dick was bigger than mine so I ran out the door half naked

Met a good looking girl on Match back in 2010 or so, we chatted for a few days and agreed to meet up at her apartment to watch a movie and drink some wine. Showed up at her place, knocked on the door and Free Willy's clone answered. I told myself "there's no fricking way this is her" so I said "Hey, is so-and-so around?", to which she said "that's me silly, come in!". I shuttered for a second. This bitch used pictures that were a few years old. We went inside, kinda chatted for a second, and she put The Blindside on, at which point I excused myself to the restroom and texted my best friend to call me in about 10-15 minutes and play along. He called and I pretended like he ran out of gas and I had to go. She texted me all throughout the next couple of weeks or so trying to meet up again.

The kicker: About 4 years after the fact, I saw her in downtown Lafayette one night with some friends. She lost a bunch of weight and was actually pretty hot. Oh well, such is life.

Yea, that's just a trap