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Posted on 1/1/22 at 5:37 am to dgnx6
quote:This is what we are going through with my mother who is in her mid 80s. And I agree completely with you. It is not easy. But it is the right thing to do. Be there for them like they were there for you.
I will never put my parents in a home. If they want it that bad, okay. But frick it, they can live with me as long as they have. They did it for me.
Hopefully your kids aren’t pieces of shite and give you a good end of life. Not shove you in a covid infected place operated by fricking morons.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 6:10 am to Cycledude
Before the wife and I had little alum I was working at an ER. Older fella mundane CHest pain admission. He was telling his daughter not to worry over the phone “don’t drive” here.
He asked if I had kids. Said “ working on it” he asked why? I said we just want a child etc and take care of older us.
He said “screw that. I’d kill for my daughter, but I don’t trust her for shite in my decisions. You may have a kid that’s not very bright!”
He asked if I had kids. Said “ working on it” he asked why? I said we just want a child etc and take care of older us.
He said “screw that. I’d kill for my daughter, but I don’t trust her for shite in my decisions. You may have a kid that’s not very bright!”
Posted on 1/1/22 at 6:28 am to BK Lounge
quote:
or maybe a woman who wanted kids never met someone to marry..
Oh bullshite lol
Posted on 1/1/22 at 7:16 am to Cycledude
quote:
My wife and I both have siblings with no kids, and I’m wondering who will be taking care of them when they get old? My two kids?
Unless you are volunteering to do it, they will need to pay someone to change their diapers so:
tell them to contact an attorney specializing in estate planning and depending on analysis get long term care insurance
Posted on 1/1/22 at 7:30 am to BK Lounge
None of that changes that they were meant to have children. It just means that not everybody does what they were meant to do.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 7:31 am to Cycledude
quote:
My wife and I both have siblings with no kids, and I’m wondering who will be taking care of them when they get old? My two kids?
No, the nursing home they will be in, just like you. If you think your kids will take care of you no questions asked, then you're probably in for a rude awakening.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 7:36 am to dgnx6
I am headed for a similar situation with my family. My parents put their parents in homes when they got old. Now Dad is starting to get lost mentally, and Mom and my brother furtively whisper about putting him in a home too. I have the rockiest relationship with him, and I already moved away; but I don’t know how I would expect to set up my grandchildren to take care of my children when they get old, if I don’t set the right example now. I’m gonna have to work out some way to get back home it seems.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 9:51 am to OKBoomerSooner
quote:This.
...I don’t know how I would expect to set up my grandchildren to take care of my children when they get old, if I don’t set the right example now.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 10:21 am to Wolfhound45
I know couple nurses that work in nsg.homes.Stories they tell are heartbreaking.
People drop off their parents at the nsg home with nothing but the clothes they are wearing and never see them again.
People drop off their parents at the nsg home with nothing but the clothes they are wearing and never see them again.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 10:44 am to Cracker
quote:
It’s not healthy to be the child caregiver to the parents. Get professional help.
I don't know about that. I was the primary caregiver to my mom for her last 8 years. It was difficult as she lived two hours away, but I spent a couple of days a week with her and took care of her shopping and bills and I don't regret it at all. She took care of me when I was a child, I tried to take care of her when she was elderly and keep her where she wanted to be, in her home. I just wish there had been no dementia.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 10:54 am to emoney
quote:
My best advice is start saving for a long-term care policy now so that you don’t have to exhaust your family members’ time and energy. People don’t realize the cost, emotionally and financially, long-term care takes up in an average life.
My parents had a good long-term care policy. They paid a lot for it. When my dad got terminal cancer, it paid some, but it was like squeezing blood from a turnip to get anything out of them, despite the promises they made initially -- and this was a big, well known company. Their accountant advised against buying it and, thankfully, I was able to take care of my mom until her final days and never had to put her in a home. They offer those plans because they can make money from them.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 11:02 am to Cycledude
I'll let you know when I reach elderly status. It's a real concern of mine. I've lost my only sibling and my only child.
This post was edited on 1/1/22 at 12:21 pm
Posted on 1/1/22 at 11:11 am to Cycledude
You and your siblings will be in nursing homes regardless of having kids.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 11:33 am to Flashback
If I live long enough to be thrown in a home, im doing something wrong.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 11:38 am to EA6B
quote:this. I have a huge family and we have 4 kids but at no point would ever want to burden my children with my care. My parents also have 4 children but at no point were we ever expected that we would take care of them. Assisted living and long term care is a thing. There are even insurances to cover it.
Assisted living facility, or at home care. I would never expect my kids that live all over the country to disrupt their lives to take care of me. My grandparents taught my parents to never be a burden to your children, and they taught me the same thing. Just as you should prepare financially for retirement, you should do the same thing for when the time comes you can’t take care of yourself.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 11:49 am to Cycledude
quote:
My wife and I both have siblings with no kids, and I’m wondering who will be taking care of them when they get old? My two kids?
Unless you have a bunch, there's no guarantee any will take up the responsibility of caring for you in your old age (we see that to an extent with my stepfather, over the last decade or so I've probably spent more Father's Days with him than his own kids).
My wife and I have no kids but plenty of nieces and nephews. We aren't counting on them to take care of us when we get old, but if any decide to take that burden on then we're okay with it. Our primary plan will be to eventually move into some sort of transitional facility once we can no longer care for one another/ourselves (independent living to assisted living to end of life care). We also both have living wills with do-not-resuscitate clauses.
Any couple who has made it into their 50s without having kids seriously needs to look into such things now. It's always better to have a plan then not need it than not have a plan but need one.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 12:18 pm to Cycledude
quote:
My wife and I both have siblings with no kids, and I’m wondering who will be taking care of them when they get old? My two kids?
If this is how transactional your relationship is with your siblings, you are probably teaching your own kids the same, so you and your wife as well as your siblings are probably screwed at that point. And yes, my parents helped take care of my great uncles and aunts, and my grandparents for as long as they could and then at least had them in a close-by nursing home they were able to visit daily.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 1:18 pm to Cycledude
My wife and I have no kids. We will take care of each other and she can pay someone to care for her after I die I guess.
Posted on 1/1/22 at 2:51 pm to Cycledude
A elderly friend lives in an assisted living luxury place near the Galleria in Houston. He no longer drives and eats/works out at the Houstonian. He goes into the offices of his company in the morning. He always found it easier to rent a date for a few hours in his younger days so never married.
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