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1
Posted on 2/17/25 at 6:40 am to DiamondDog
quote:
We played outside and he seemed to thrive with physical activity.
There you go. A starting point. Find ways to burn energy. Prob cut out the “juices” and junk food kid snacks too. They are all bad.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 6:57 am to DiamondDog
Mine was/is like this. He’s calmed down as he’s gotten older but still has his moments. The hard discipline didn’t work and I refused to put him on medication. He fought, fixated, and wouldn’t let things go. We figured out how to roll with it and get him to do the things he wanted. I hate time out but that seemed to work for him just so he could go cool off. School got off pretty rough the first few years and he needed accommodations. He’s now past that and is doing well independently in elementary school.
He gravitated to talking to adults because he didn’t align with his peers socially when it came to conversation due to his curiosity and questions.
Avoid screen time as much as possible. Be patient. If one of you is at your limit, have your spouse step in to take the reins. Those kids know how to push your buttons.
Good luck!
ETA: we ended up finding out that mine had Celiac disease and that can cause ADHD symptoms and irritability. (I would be angry walking around with an inflamed gut everyday as well). Not saying to go run out and get tested but there might be something else going on.
Have to give credit to my wife because there was a year that he just quit growing which led us down that rabbit hole. The change in diet has made some differences.
He gravitated to talking to adults because he didn’t align with his peers socially when it came to conversation due to his curiosity and questions.
Avoid screen time as much as possible. Be patient. If one of you is at your limit, have your spouse step in to take the reins. Those kids know how to push your buttons.
Good luck!
ETA: we ended up finding out that mine had Celiac disease and that can cause ADHD symptoms and irritability. (I would be angry walking around with an inflamed gut everyday as well). Not saying to go run out and get tested but there might be something else going on.
Have to give credit to my wife because there was a year that he just quit growing which led us down that rabbit hole. The change in diet has made some differences.
This post was edited on 2/17/25 at 7:01 am
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:01 am to DiamondDog
Thanks for sharing your story. I have a 3 year old boy and can relate. Does your son get a lot of screen time watching TV and playing on a tablet? The reason why I ask is because we reduced access to screen time for our son and saw almost immediate improvement across the board.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:02 am to DiamondDog
quote:
We love our son but my wife and I realize nothing with this child is easy. I don't think he is autistic. He's very smart- not in that parent blind to reality way. Kid just will not listen. Maybe this is normal but its beyond difficult and has been since he turned 2. He fixates on things he wants and his mind cannot let go. It makes it borderline impossible to give him direction.
So my wife is a speech pathologist who actually does autism diagnostics for a living. Many children who are on the spectrum are highly intelligent. Doesn’t really have anything to do with it. The fixating on things can be a sign of autism for sure. I would highly suggest getting a referral from your pediatrician to a pediatric developmental and behavioral clinic of some kind and having him tested. There are so many resources available to parents out there today for a child on the spectrum and the understanding of it has drastically changed since we were kids. Many kids on the spectrum with the right help and tools become highly functioning successful kids. Hope you find some answers. If he is on the spectrum the earlier you get him help the better.
This post was edited on 2/17/25 at 8:06 am
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:16 am to Rebel920
quote:
If he is on the spectrum the earlier you get him help the better.
This. My son is 4 and half and is on the spectrum. Luckily my wife caught it super super early and we had an official diagnosis before 18 months. He had occupational and speech therapy for about a year and then started doing ABA therapy at a school for the past two years. He's made so much progress these last couple years and most people wouldn't be able to tell he's autistic. We've been very blessed to have caught it so quick and had the right resources available locally.
This thread is pretty sad with the amount of people thinking you can just beat your kid into behaving no matter what. My son is a tank and I'd have to straight up punch him to get him to stop doing something if that's the route I decided to go
ETA: Both of my kids are total assholes when they have lot of red dye, so OP you can definitely think about what your kids are eating if you aren't quite ready to go down the evaluation route. But I think you should get your kid evaluated, it can only help even if the mouth breathers here think it's the devil.
This post was edited on 2/17/25 at 8:19 am
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:27 am to LNCHBOX
Yeah another thing I’ll throw out on the spanking and stuff is it doesn’t work for all kids. Now I will spank both of mine. It’s more affective on my 6 year old than my 10 year old. 10 year is extremely more sensitive to guilt it seems like so we can tell him we are disappointed in him and he takes it very hard. He’s pretty well behaved though so not a lot of punishment for him. He’s just super forgetful which is aggravating in its own right. The 6 year old would be a terrorist if we let her and she is on the receiving end of more corporal punishment than her brother but for the most part she toes the line now. Every now and then she’s in need of a little reminder. Just two different personalities of kids though.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:41 am to Rebel920
My son will respond to the threat of "pats" as we call them. But his pain threshold is too high for to be worthwhile IMO. He also responds better to time outs and losing preferred activities, so we go that route.
There is certainly a time and a place for spankings, they worked fine with my oldest.
There is certainly a time and a place for spankings, they worked fine with my oldest.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:42 am to DiamondDog
quote:Problem one.
I try to speak with him and reason but it's like his mind is all over the place.
It’s a child, you’re trying to reason with them like they are an adult. Kids will push boundaries, it’s what they do.
As someone who raised two, you need to wrap your head around the fact you have two, and only two levers to pull. Reward, or punishment.
Bad behavior, punishment. Given you sound like a pussy I expect you or your wife will reward them when they stop (for a moment) a tantrum. That just encourages them to do it again.
Bad behavior gets the switch or the belt. It’s going to have to be that until you break their will. Again because you sound like a pussy the child will win.
quote:I didn’t. A switching or the belt shut that down in about 2. Switch hurts worse btw.
Who fights someone for 20 straight minutes?
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:53 am to DiamondDog
This may sound strange, but I'd look into what you're feeding him. Get away from processed garbage (if that's the case) and feed him whole foods.
Also, impose your will. If not, he will impose his.
Also, impose your will. If not, he will impose his.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 8:55 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
But I think you should get your kid evaluated, it can only help even if the mouth breathers here think it's the devil.
I don't think anyone is saying that evaluations are bad, but the number of people jumping to "it's autism" are equally bad. Not everything in life is a disease that needs expensive therapy or meds. Sometimes old fashioned parenting works, and that's what should be applied first.
And I'm not advocating (or shaming) spanking at all. I am 100% advocating a clear schedule and discipline plan for this child to see if some behaviors can be corrected. Every child thrives when parents have objective rules and a consistent home routine. They need leadership, and it makes them feel secure.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 9:29 am to HouseMom
quote:
I don't think anyone is saying that evaluations are bad, but the number of people jumping to "it's autism" are equally bad.
What thread are you reading? shite the post right above yours is calling OP a pussy for not taking a switch to his kid.
quote:
Not everything in life is a disease that needs expensive therapy or meds. Sometimes old fashioned parenting works, and that's what should be applied first.
This isn't OP's first kid though.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 10:57 am to DiamondDog
quote:
Who fights someone for 20 straight minutes?
My 3 year old can easily go 20 minutes fighting, crying, repeating the same phrase, or all three when upset. He’s stubborn as a mule and different than his other brothers.
We’ve noticed it tends to happen when he feels left out or not getting enough attention. He’s a middle child and spending one on one time with him usually solves it for a couple of days.
How does he sleep at night? Night terrors? Mouth breathing when asleep? Chewing on clothes? My oldest was a terror until he got into myofunctional therapy and got better sleep. Turns out he was just chronically tired.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 11:07 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
What thread are you reading?
I've read through this entire thread, and many have said it's likely autism. This just seems like a huge leap of the imagination when you're talking about a 3 year old having what is essentially a temper tantrum. The logical route here is making sure the parents are following procedures at home. Meaning, if the OP's child is in a Montessori preschool and they practice "gentle parenting" we have an obvious starting point for change.
quote:
This isn't OP's first kid though.
OP said:
quote:
We continue to struggle with our oldest who is 3
What am I missing? He said this is his oldest child.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 11:10 am to WylieTiger
quote:
Avoid screen time as much as possible.
Cut it out completely. When does the kid NEED screen time?
Television is a reward for my kids. They don't even know a phone or tablet can be used for anything besides FaceTime with mawmaw or for mom and dad to do work.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 11:15 am to DownshiftAndFloorIt
quote:
What kid doesn't do that?
I used to do shite like that all the time when I was a child.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 1:30 pm to HouseMom
quote:
I've read through this entire thread, and many have said it's likely autism. This just seems like a huge leap of the imagination when you're talking about a 3 year old having what is essentially a temper tantrum. The logical route here is making sure the parents are following procedures at home. Meaning, if the OP's child is in a Montessori preschool and they practice "gentle parenting" we have an obvious starting point for change.
Half of this thread is people saying beat the kid harder and another 40% is people implying therapy is a scam.
quote:
What am I missing? He said this is his oldest child.
As in it's not his only child. Didn't realize I needed to spoon feed you.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 2:18 pm to DiamondDog
Have him evaluated. There are many things that can affect kids that do not "stand out" by what you see. Could be a processing issue or some other something else that leads to easy frustration levels. Big thing is to stay consistent with your "discipline" and routines.
Posted on 2/17/25 at 6:06 pm to SquatchDawg
quote:
By the time you realize you’re dealing with something that a “good spanking” won’t fix you’ve had some encounters with a kid you love more than anything in the world that you’ll carry with you the rest of your life.
I’ve told my son now that how we handled that when he was younger was my biggest regret so far as a parent….he said he doesn’t even remember it.
I've been here, as well, many years ago. However, our son is a well adjusted, happily married dad and is a homeowner. There were times that were really trying. 3-4 was hard. 6-7 was hard. Jr. high was just awful. He would tell you now that he basically had to learn every single thing the hard way. Sometimes the normal things just did not work. You can't/shouldn't beat them. You can't take away absolutely everything and give them nothing to enjoy about their lives. Sometimes through those tough times you just keep trying, have talks with them and stay consistent, and just love them through it. He may have some developmental type issues or maybe just a rough stage. But keep trying and get help when you need it. You are on the right track! And always make sure he knows you love him!
Posted on 2/17/25 at 6:22 pm to DiamondDog
Get him a Specialist in Child Clinical Specialist.
Your first mistake was posting on here with some fricking Assholes making light of a Serious situation.
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