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Diseasefreeforall
Miami (FL) Fan
St Clair Co
Member since Oct 2012
4127 posts
 Online 

Mom vs porch pirates in Austin feces fight

quote:

Several residents of a neighborhood in south Austin, Texas, claim to have seen the same thieves swiping packages from their porches again and again.

Gabriela was already frustrated when it happened to her. But when she saw her neighbors posting surveillance videos of what looked like the same suspects and vehicle — a black Chevy Suburban with no plates — she stepped in, hoping to thwart the operation.

Specifically, she and her husband put a box of dirty diapers on the front porch.

“The same [people] came back and took [the] package,” she said. “And when they discovered it was a bunch of dirty diapers they came back and smeared those diapers on our front door.”

“Thirty minutes later, they came back with a giant bag of cow manure. They spread that all over our front porch and on our cars in the driveway,” Gabriela said. “That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on the case.”


Local news

Youtube with video of shitty thieves


TexasTiger33
LSU Fan
Member since Feb 2022
3794 posts
 Online 

That's shitty...


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201
OldmanBeasley
USA Fan
Charlotte
Member since Jun 2014
8167 posts
 Online 

Oldmanbeasley has never had the misfortune of running into a porch pirate, but has had to fight off a butt pirate.


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150
KingBarkus
Mississippi St. Fan
New Orleans
Member since Nov 2009
6932 posts

When they returned to smear feces on the house would be a declaration of war in my book. I would dedicate my life to seeing these punks suffer.


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691
Jameson2954
Member since Mar 2022
291 posts
 Online 

I would have been waiting for them to come back…


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410
cgrand
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
HAMMOND
Member since Oct 2009
34293 posts
 Online 

quote:

I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on the case.”
they're working in shifts to crack this case I’m sure


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231
Thundercles
LA-Monroe Fan
Mars
Member since Sep 2010
2806 posts

Just make a bomb and let them die when they open it. Hopefully a painful death.


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350
JackieTreehorn
Atlanta Braves Fan
Malibu
Member since Sep 2013
23181 posts
 Online 

I would have been waiting on those fricks with a baseball bat and a bottle of tanqueray.


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130
Darth_Vader
US Army Fan
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
57671 posts
 Online 

Ok. Hear me out…. You want to get back at the porch pirates? One word…

Claymore.



There is a 100% chance they will never try rob you (or anyone for that matter) ever again.


bad93ex
US Navy Fan
Member since Sep 2018
17516 posts
 Online 

quote:

Claymore.


No mother should have to worry about their kids dying while being porch pirates, we need more programs.


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263
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USA
Member since 2001
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Jadrammy
Member since Aug 2022
176 posts

If that frick comes back to smear the diapers I gave him, I'm leaving a bunch of packages at the door step and waiting for him. Promise you it would be the last time he WALKS on my property.


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240
Tchefuncte Tiger
LSU Fan
Bat'n Rudge
Member since Oct 2004
53192 posts

I would have no problem with folks putting lethal explosive devices disguised as packages on their front porches. Kill a few of these a-holes and this kind of crap will stop.


AUbagman
Auburn Fan
LA
Member since Jun 2014
10158 posts

Black mamba in a box filled with filling. Dig around and find that gold.
This post was edited on 9/27 at 8:52 pm


Proximo
USA Fan
Member since Aug 2011
9503 posts
 Online 

quote:

I would have no problem with folks putting lethal explosive devices disguised as packages on their front porches. Kill a few of these a-holes and this kind of crap will stop.

Yeah that’s illegal. What happens when it’s an innocent person that gets hit by your trap?


LRB1967
Auburn Fan
Tennessee
Member since Dec 2020
9093 posts

My house can't be seen from the street but we got a porch pirate up here a year ago. To make sure nobody was home they rang the doorbell. Due to my elderly father's hearing problem, we have a doorbell that sounds like an air raid siren. Scared them so badly they drove off without the package.


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190
Diseasefreeforall
Miami (FL) Fan
St Clair Co
Member since Oct 2012
4127 posts
 Online 

A few decades ago I lived in an apt complex without locking mailboxes and a neighbor would steal the mail.

I thought about filling some Rolos with antifreeze and putting a package with a bunch of them in my mailbox because I knew they were stoners but decided it might not be the best idea for my future. They got arrested for something not long after and thankfully disappeared for good.


Luke
Auburn Fan
1113 Chartres Street, NOLA
Member since Nov 2004
12650 posts

Rattlesnake or cotton mouth in a box with packing peanuts….


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140
shutterspeed
LSU Fan
MS Gulf Coast
Member since May 2007
55923 posts
 Online 



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51
BobMayonnaise
Mississippi St. Fan
Memphis
Member since Feb 2009
1275 posts

At least put one of the exploding color bombs in there like banks use so they can be identified or at least hassled.


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70
jnethe1
LSU Fan
Pearland
Member since Dec 2012
13752 posts

Well I now know how to ensure they return. Great for planning.


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