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Posted on 1/26/25 at 7:19 pm to Harlan County USA
quote:
Harlan County USA
You seem proud of making taxpayers fund your mom's stay in a home. Her assets could've gone to help pay those bills. Now you keep the money and I get to help pay her nursing home bill.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 7:22 pm to i am dan
Hang in there! Thank you for sharing your story. I will be there some day too. You are doing the best you can do. Thoughts and prayers headed your way.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 7:29 pm to Pisco
So sorry to hear that. Best wishes.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 7:31 pm to Pisco
Thanks for the responses. My mom gets a $2K a month check so that would go towards her retirement community stay as someone put it. A social worker is coming by the hospital tomorrow. I’ll be at work but my Stepdad will be there.
I trust this nursing home. They took care of my grandma the last three years of her life. It’s going to be hard on my stepdad after 22 years of marriage living together, but I believe he’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s going to free him up to visit more with his mom who’s almost 90, and his grandkids. He can go by and visit her every day. No more paying for food and groceries. Her phone and iPad bills. The medicine thing will get worked out.
My sister and I have known this day was coming. I just feel in my heart God is in control. She needs better care like bathing and stuff. He’s done the best job he can do. He needs the rest and he has Oscar the wonder shih tzu to keep him busy and he can take him up there with his harness on.
It’ll work out. Just gotta ride his emotional storm out.
I trust this nursing home. They took care of my grandma the last three years of her life. It’s going to be hard on my stepdad after 22 years of marriage living together, but I believe he’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s going to free him up to visit more with his mom who’s almost 90, and his grandkids. He can go by and visit her every day. No more paying for food and groceries. Her phone and iPad bills. The medicine thing will get worked out.
My sister and I have known this day was coming. I just feel in my heart God is in control. She needs better care like bathing and stuff. He’s done the best job he can do. He needs the rest and he has Oscar the wonder shih tzu to keep him busy and he can take him up there with his harness on.
It’ll work out. Just gotta ride his emotional storm out.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 7:39 pm to Pisco
I currently work at a nursing home. When I was hired here, the executive director was the one who actually wrote the textbook you would study from if you want to take your test to get your nursing home license to run one.
Best advice I can give you is what he told me the day he interviewed me. When touring a nursing home, as you walk from the front to the back, pay attention to the smell.
Obviously if you smell urine and bad smells throughout the entire building, stay away from it. If all you smell throughout the entire facility is cleaning products, stay away from it because they are masking problems.
For the most part, it should be like your house, where you don’t smell anything. I’m not talking like smelling something in front of one room where someone had an accident, but the facility is a whole
There are some really good ones and some really bad ones, do your homework before you put your mom in one. Also go online to the state surveys, and look at their rankings. They’re ranked by a star rating, one through five, with five being the highest. This is not yelp scores or something like that, it’s based off of state inspection, surveys, and such. Do your homework before you put a loved one in a nursing home.
Best advice I can give you is what he told me the day he interviewed me. When touring a nursing home, as you walk from the front to the back, pay attention to the smell.
Obviously if you smell urine and bad smells throughout the entire building, stay away from it. If all you smell throughout the entire facility is cleaning products, stay away from it because they are masking problems.
For the most part, it should be like your house, where you don’t smell anything. I’m not talking like smelling something in front of one room where someone had an accident, but the facility is a whole
There are some really good ones and some really bad ones, do your homework before you put your mom in one. Also go online to the state surveys, and look at their rankings. They’re ranked by a star rating, one through five, with five being the highest. This is not yelp scores or something like that, it’s based off of state inspection, surveys, and such. Do your homework before you put a loved one in a nursing home.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:01 pm to Spankum
quote:
2K per year is a steal! If that is all the premiums are, I will be taking some out on myself! Hell, nursing homes are 10K per month.
My FIL had one. Paid $3500 a year for premiums, but it only paid $4500 a month for 3 years.
Long term care typically isn't 100% coverage
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:02 pm to VernonPLSUfan
quote:
My wife loves to do 500ct puzzles. We had ten in a box that she had done, and I took it to the local nursing home. It was built about five years ago. Was really impressed by what little I saw. Movie theatre, weight room. Very different from when I was growing up.
The one my Dad was in was relatively new. Workout facility with trainers, barber shop, outdoor ac / heated patio, everyone had a private room
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:21 pm to Pisco
sorry this is happening man. i wish you all the best - Demntia is such a horrible affliction, i would not wish it on anyone.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:25 pm to MBclass83
quote:
We begged my father to put mom in a facility for her safety. He would not.
Good on your father. Let them pass away in their home peacefully.
quote:
There comes a time when we are not physically able to take care of them. Sad situation.
Ok. I will be that guy again in this type of thread.
Who wiped your arse when you were 6 months old? Who fed you when you couldnt pick up a spoon and bring it to your mouth? At the most trying time of your life, who helped you when you couldnt do a damn thing yourself?
Not sorry. If you are an abled body adult with parents living in a nursing home. You suck
They did everything for you when you unable to.
Your parents held your body and taught you to stand, led you by their hand to walk, drove you to the doctor when you had some weakass cough or crud in your eye
Return the mother fricking favor
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:37 pm to DJ3K
it isn't always that easy - having helped my mom care for my dad for 10 years after he was diagnosed with Dementia, having to have an Ostomy bag, and incontinence - earlier on it was ok, but the last year as the dementia got worse and worse, it got harder and harder to have him cooperate and not get irrationally angry and violent. my mom is 72 and was taking care of him with a 2 day a week visit by Hospice.
we got through it to the point he did pass on the 20th at home. some are not capable.
it isn't always someone just shunting responsibility off on assisted living.
we got through it to the point he did pass on the 20th at home. some are not capable.
it isn't always someone just shunting responsibility off on assisted living.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:41 pm to Pisco
My mother has late stage Alzheimer’s disease and should be in nursing care. My father, who is a young 83, doesn’t like the available nursing homes and has 16 hour a day care at home. Last time I visited there was no indication she recognized me.
It sucks for all of us at this age. You aren’t alone in this. We just muddle through. You’re doing the best that can be done.
It sucks for all of us at this age. You aren’t alone in this. We just muddle through. You’re doing the best that can be done.
This post was edited on 1/26/25 at 8:44 pm
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:44 pm to Pisco
Just remember you can always visit.
There’s no shame in reaching a point that she needs more care than you and yours can humanly provide.
There’s no shame in reaching a point that she needs more care than you and yours can humanly provide.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:46 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
You are a good son.
fricking this more than you know right now. Bless you
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:49 pm to DJ3K
quote:
Ok. I will be that guy again in this type of thread.
Who wiped your arse when you were 6 months old? Who fed you when you couldnt pick up a spoon and bring it to your mouth? At the most trying time of your life, who helped you when you couldnt do a damn thing yourself?
Not sorry. If you are an abled body adult with parents living in a nursing home. You suck
They did everything for you when you unable to. Your parents held your body and taught you to stand, led you by their hand to walk, drove you to the doctor when you had some weakass cough or crud in your eye
Return the mother fricking favor
There is a significant difference in taking care of a child as a child and managing the care of an aging adult. Especially one with dementia and other health issues.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:55 pm to DJ3K
It's a tough decision for sure. Not sure there's one right answer. I like to think when it's my mother's time, that we'd move her into our home and hire a sitter, CNA or something to help. That may depend on how bad things get though. I'm sure people are also struggling to pay their own bills and be productive at work in the process.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 8:59 pm to DJ3K
quote:
Ok. I will be that guy again in this type of thread.
The complete ignorant, self righteous jackass?
Posted on 1/26/25 at 9:00 pm to DJ3K
quote:Low IQ take
DJ3K
Posted on 1/26/25 at 9:01 pm to BluegrassBelle
My father died last Valentine’s day before reaching the age of 89. I toured a bunch of places in BR for my mom, who is 93 and very mobile. She moved into an independent living facility at $2850 a month, like a one bed room apartment. She regrets not moving into it sooner with my dad. They have a catholic mass on Saturdays and the go
to Walmart once a week. Tuesday they are going to Sammy’s off of Highland (lunch out twich a month), two meals a day. Today they had the highsteppers come, which is a 96 year old Lady who still does tap dancing. I go by 2-3 times a week with groceries and her grand kids. My oldest stays the night every once in awhile. It has been a wonderful place for her and us.
to Walmart once a week. Tuesday they are going to Sammy’s off of Highland (lunch out twich a month), two meals a day. Today they had the highsteppers come, which is a 96 year old Lady who still does tap dancing. I go by 2-3 times a week with groceries and her grand kids. My oldest stays the night every once in awhile. It has been a wonderful place for her and us.
Posted on 1/26/25 at 9:14 pm to DJ3K
Sometimes its about dignity of the loved
one you are helping, not about being selfish by sticking them in a nursing home. I helped my father by changing him and wiping him down, and I was not embarrassed to that. I know he felt
it took his dignity and cried at times or would ask me to wait to aid/sitter came do it.
one you are helping, not about being selfish by sticking them in a nursing home. I helped my father by changing him and wiping him down, and I was not embarrassed to that. I know he felt
it took his dignity and cried at times or would ask me to wait to aid/sitter came do it.
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