- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Mitch Hedberg thread
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:25 am to UnluckyTiger
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:25 am to UnluckyTiger
"Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotamus, or just a really cool opotamus?"
This post was edited on 11/8/21 at 11:26 am
0
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:26 am to LSU-MNCBABY
I’m sure everyone else is reading all of these in his accent, now I’m talking like that in my head as I’m typing this
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:27 am to Backinthe615
I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:27 am to Gaggle
“I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.”
“I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down, and that made me angry because I like loud music, so when he knocked on the wall I’d mess with his head. I’d say: "Go around! I cannot open the wall. I don’t know if you have a doorknob on the other side, but over here there’s nothing. It’s just flat."”
“I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down, and that made me angry because I like loud music, so when he knocked on the wall I’d mess with his head. I’d say: "Go around! I cannot open the wall. I don’t know if you have a doorknob on the other side, but over here there’s nothing. It’s just flat."”
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:30 am to nwalser
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it is the only one you can get yelled at for having."
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:32 am to LegendInMyMind
“I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won’t fall down.”
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:35 am to LegendInMyMind
I like to call my cavities places to put stuff. 'Mitch do you know where I can store a pea?' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:36 am to LegendInMyMind
Dammit Otto you're an alcoholic. Dammmit Otto you have Lupus.
This is from memory so please take it easy if I butchered it.
This is from memory so please take it easy if I butchered it.
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:36 am to LegendInMyMind
I bought an ant farm, them fellas didn't grow shite
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:39 am to Monday
quote:it's ok that joke will be edited. Your applause and laughter will be duplicated and remixed throughout the cd. I will make it appear as if you laughed at unfunny shite. These frickers don't like funny jokes, I mean they do like...eh whatever
take it easy if I butchered it
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:43 am to Gaggle
Pringles was originally going to be a tennis ball distributor. The day the balls were supposed to show up a truck came with a bunch of potatoes. So the owner said frick it cut em up.
Obviously was better with his timing and tone during the last part
Obviously was better with his timing and tone during the last part
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:49 am to Hoops
quote:
Obviously was better with his timing and tone during the last part
That is the beauty/genius of Hedberg (and really all the great one-liner comedians). I don't think a lot of people realize how difficult that type comedy is. It is 100% all timing and delivery. You have to bomb and bomb repeatedly to get good at that type standup. You can't rely on physical humor. You can't really rely on callbacks or tying jokes together. It is just you and the one joke. You learn to make it land, or you find something else to do for a living.
That is why most of the great comedians will never attempt one-liner jokes.
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:49 am to Gaggle
I saw Mitch with Dave Attell and Lewis Black.
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:53 am to Saint Alfonzo
quote:
I saw Mitch with Dave Attell and Lewis Black.
With all due respect, I hate you
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:54 am to LegendInMyMind
My buddies and I listened to Mitch Hedberg cd's burned off limewire back in the early 00s. Got a lot of people into it. Always told people at first you're gonna say wtf is this shite. Then then next day you'll find yourself quoting him and imitating him. It's a slow burn until you realize he is a comedic genius
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:55 am to Hoops
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."
I remember this one when I saw him for the first time. It cracks me up every time
I remember this one when I saw him for the first time. It cracks me up every time
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:57 am to TheNolaClap
"What kind of bread?
Rye. No, frick. Banana. You got banana bread?
What kind of cheese?
Cottage
GET THE frick OUT.
I will not make a banana bread Pastrami cottage cheese sandwich."
Rye. No, frick. Banana. You got banana bread?
What kind of cheese?
Cottage
GET THE frick OUT.
I will not make a banana bread Pastrami cottage cheese sandwich."
Posted on 11/8/21 at 11:57 am to Gaggle
quote:"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."
it's ok that joke will be edited. Your applause and laughter will be duplicated and remixed throughout the cd. I will make it appear as if you laughed at unfunny shite. These frickers don't like funny jokes, I mean they do like...eh whatever
He had some great recoveries after telling a dud.
Posted on 11/8/21 at 12:03 pm to Jor Jor The Dinosaur
quote:He had total stage fright and terrible presence with his head down and eyes closed mumbling and was usually plastered but somehow was also light on his feet and could improvise
He had some great recoveries after telling a dud.
*Telling a joke*
"One time I was in Ireland..."
Audience member interrupts: "Woo-hoo!"
"Yeah that's why left cause frickers said woohoo. And I'll be damned if they're not here too."
Posted on 11/8/21 at 12:04 pm to Gaggle
1 800 I really love carpet
Page 3 of 6
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News