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Started By
Message
Mike Pence Issues Permanent Stay-At-Home Order To Nation's Women
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:02 am
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:02 am
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Mike Pence, head of the Coronavirus Task Force, has issued a new decree, saying that the stay-at-home order will now be permanent for all women.
“Even after we defeat this pandemic,” Pence said at a press conference, “there could be other pandemics out there. That’s why it’s important we keep half the population -- namely women -- safe at home with their kids and around what most needs cleaning and cooking.”
This new decree has President Trump’s full support. “Yeah, whatever,” said Trump, not looking up from his phone as he composed new tweets.
Currently, this permanent stay-at-home order for women is being praised by feminist groups. “We misjudged Pence,” said an email from the National Organization for Women. “He really cares about women and wants to keep them safe.”
The order should go into effect immediately and last until Judgment Day. Any woman who violates the order will be forced to wear a scarlet letter “A,” which stands for “A Woman Who Doesn’t Listen.”
LINK
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Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:03 am to upgrayedd
quote:
The order should go into effect immediately and last until Judgment Day. Any woman who violates the order will be forced to wear a scarlet letter “A,” which stands for “A Woman Who Doesn’t Listen.”
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:03 am to upgrayedd
yes we already know it is april 1st
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:03 am to upgrayedd
I just became Trans.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:03 am to upgrayedd
Iron my shirt!
Make me a sammich!
Make me a sammich!
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:04 am to upgrayedd
Babylon Bee is the best satire site out there by a wide margin.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:04 am to diat150
Babylon Bee dgaf about April 1
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:04 am to upgrayedd
I would rather a stay off social media decree for them..
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:04 am to diat150
quote:
yes we already know it is april 1st
From the link
quote:
March 31st, 2020
What now, smart guy?
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:04 am to upgrayedd
So many idiots in here will swallow that hook, line, and sinker.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:04 am to upgrayedd
I was nearly 100% certain that the link was going to land at onion.com
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:05 am to upgrayedd
The Onion has been gold as well lately.
One article stated Trump has ordered new drilling in the Arctic to find masks and respirators
One article stated Trump has ordered new drilling in the Arctic to find masks and respirators
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:05 am to upgrayedd
This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen this year. Thank you.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:05 am to SavageOrangeJug
CNN will quote the article but say it's from an unnamed source.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:07 am to SavageOrangeJug
quote:
So many idiots in here will swallow that hook, line, and sinker.
Huh?
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:09 am to upgrayedd
How doe you like your samich?
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:10 am to upgrayedd
Mike Pence looks like he’s been embalmed. He needs to use the same make-up artist as the Prez. Maybe use red instead of orange, however.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:12 am to HempHead
quote:
Babylon Bee is the best satire site out there by a wide margin
This is correct
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:12 am to upgrayedd
While we're at it, we should end women's suffrage. I think we can all agree they've suffrage enough.
Posted on 4/1/20 at 10:14 am to Wtodd
I used to love the Onion
Now it's suffered the same fate as SNL - political points foremost, followed by "try to make it into something funny."
Modern liberalism has killed fun, which is the opposite of how it used to be. Kind of amazing, really.
Now it's suffered the same fate as SNL - political points foremost, followed by "try to make it into something funny."
Modern liberalism has killed fun, which is the opposite of how it used to be. Kind of amazing, really.
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