re: LSUNurse, loooking for answers for what can be wrong with my 2 year old

quote:

---

It's called the terrible 2s for a reason. All kids do this

---

No, they don't. I have a 5 and 2 year old and neither has ever acted the way the OP is describing

Don't sell them that snake oil false hope hooey

Exactly.
I need to watch out for my family. My family comes first. And i will NOT let my little girl be in any harm in the future. He is full of anger, and then he's as happy as can be. I'm praying, and hoping we get answers from specialists. But, if things can't change, then I can't handle him/issues. His real parents are the ones to blame. Did drugs thru pregnancy, and had him taken away because they didn't take care of him.
There are tons of foster parents in our area that take in kids with health problems. Some people can handle it, others can't. If he does have problems, he would be better off with someone who is good in that area or have patience.

quote:

---

Either be a foster home and take care of the kid, or don't, but don't shite on a helpless 2 year old by shipping him off to another home just because he's not as perfect as you had hoped.

---

Sorry to disagree with you but not everyone is equipped to care for a special needs child either financially or emotionally. Also being a foster does not mean this child will be with you permanently they are there until a permanent solution is available. Many foster parents have kids coming into and out of their homes. I can totally understand the OP's reservations about permanently adopting this child.

quote:

---

He flips out of you change his diaper, put him in a car seat, ask him to play in his room, etc. And he won't budge if you tell him to do something. He will just freeze. It don't matter how much you yell, he won't budge

---

That sounds like a phase.

quote:

---

He will just stand in his room in one spot for 45 min

---

I would talk to a doctor about that. I don't think my kid has ever stayed in the same room for 45 min unless he was sleeping.

How long have you had the child? Has your family gone through any changes recently? Moved, marital issues, anything else? Could be the kid is having a tough time and something threw the kid off?

Could certainly be Autism, but it also sounds like the ears could be causing major issues. Ear infections can mess around with a kid really badly, it can mess with their balance for example.

The kid could be having some fairly major short term medical issues that you simply can't diagnose because of the age.

Had him for 11 months. No changes around the house.
My wife had to leave work today because the sitter tried to get his coat on for 15 min and all he did was flip out. And my wife had a real struggle getting it on him. He's been going bazerk.

Here's a couple seeds..

quote:

---

Whenever I see families with severely disabled children, the parents look SO hollow. They're often overweight, have grey hair and look ten years older than they really are, and have an empty look in their eyes. They always have to have a fake persona on around their kids too, usually similar to how people act around young children.

One day it hit me that none of that ends. That's your life until you die. That's absolutely terrifying to me. Part of the joy of raising kids is seeing them grow into adults. It also gets progressively easier as they get older. Raising a disabled child is basically caring for a toddler or young child for the rest of your life.

And don't even get me starred on the expenses. You're going to have to put money of some kind away to ensure you can afford whatever group home they're going to after you die, and those aren't cheap. Then there's a good chance you'll have other medical expenses along the way.

Then of course, you're always on duty with them, so to speak. No matter what vacation you take or activity you plan, you're always going to have your child there with you. You're always going to be on some level of alertness I imagine.

---

quote:

---

visited my dad and stepmom for the first time in only three years a few weeks ago, and I was shocked at how old and tired they look since I last saw them.

My little sister is 21 now, but because she's mentally handicapped, she will never be able to live on her own. My dad and stepmom are going to be caring for her for the rest of their lives. They've talked about putting her on this ranch for people like her, where they work in a greenhouse and sell the produce back into the community in exchange for housing, but it's so expensive. They've always lived paycheck to paycheck.

She has these insane meltdowns every once in a while, despite my parents' best efforts to keep her happy and well-adjusted. Their whole lives revolve around making sure she's taking her antidepressants so she doesn't go into homicidal rages, constantly coordinating social outings for her with her friends who are also special needs, planning out every detail of every day around her... I love my sister, but I could never do what my parents do.

I feel terrible for them. They always talk about travelling or even moving, but you can see the hopelessness in their eyes. They know it will never happen.

---

quote:

---

He's our foster child who we were about to adopt. I'm having doubts. He was fine up until a month ago.

---

When I first read this, I just skimmed the first few sentences and didn't see this. Seriously? So as long as everything was "perfect" he was okay to adopt, but now when he is dealing with a problem you are reconsidering. Look, when you commit to something like this you have to be all in. You have to take the good with the bad. He is two years old and now that there appears to be an issue, you are just going to throw him back into the system?

How long have you had this child? Do you think his actions have anything to do with the instability he has experienced already? I am sure he is old enough to remember these things if he is continuously reminded of it..He will know that he was staying with one family who planned on adopting him, but then suddenly decided not to so he had to go somewhere else then who knows where he goes from there.

quote:

---

And yes, he stands or sits with his head cocked to the side for 45 min straight. And he will do this in the dark. He has been shaking his head a lot and hitting hhimself lately also.
He talks some
He has tubes in his ear

---

FWIW, I know someone who got really really sick as a child when he got tubes because he was allergic to the material in the tubes. Caused him all kinds of issues with temperament, balance, etc. The head shaking and extreme change in behavior is what made me think of that.

Since this is a foster kid, I'm assuming that there's a good possibility the parents were involved in substance abuse or potentially abused/neglected the child? I think I'd have to look at possibly getting a psychiatric evaluation since it could also be a host of things outside of just the regular terrible twos. And if it is, you'll want to get out in front of that early.

Start with your pediatrician and go from there.