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re: Just found out through Ancestry.com that I had a child when I was 19
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:16 pm to financetiger
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:16 pm to financetiger
Get a test
1
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:17 pm to TH03
Yes, he's supposed to be getting his own testing done. The way it showed up is that his wife did their children's DNA. I came back as the grandfather. She messaged me telling me this and then from there she told me his name. She was doing this for him. He did not actually reach out. She said he's in shock that they found me and was processing it but understood if I didn't want a relationship. Said she knew I'd probably have a family now.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:17 pm to financetiger
quote:
She's not upset at all.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:17 pm to financetiger
This exact thing happened to my older brother last year. They’ve all met up and become pretty close.
He found out that he had a grown daughter and 3 grand kids.
He found out that he had a grown daughter and 3 grand kids.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:17 pm to financetiger
Why the frick would anyone do these stupid stupid tests
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:18 pm to financetiger
Mannnn... yeah this brings me back to Christmas 2018 when my dad found out his dad wasn’t his dad. His mom and dad and real dad were all long dead. He found out thru 23andMe. My sister actually figured it out when her sample didn’t line up with our aunt’s like it should have.
If you want to discuss offline I’ll be happy to talk but it’s just wayyyyy too much to discuss on here.
If you want to discuss offline I’ll be happy to talk but it’s just wayyyyy too much to discuss on here.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:19 pm to financetiger
quote:
Any advice from anyone that's ever been in this situation?
I have never been in this situation... but if I was I would contact a lawyer and want more proof before taking the next step.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:19 pm to financetiger
quote:
Said she knew I'd probably have a family now.
Seeing that you’re almost fifty and wasn’t using protection as a teenager,I’d bet her assumption is spot on.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:19 pm to TheGooner
I would be afraid to do this for fear of finding unknown siblings or other relatives 
My aunt (dads sister) did it and we found out she and my dad have a brother no one knew about, including my paw paw. It was a one night stand when he was in the army before ever meeting my grandmother. He never knew about the kid. He looks just like my dad, and his girls look just like me. Weird.
My aunt (dads sister) did it and we found out she and my dad have a brother no one knew about, including my paw paw. It was a one night stand when he was in the army before ever meeting my grandmother. He never knew about the kid. He looks just like my dad, and his girls look just like me. Weird.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:20 pm to financetiger
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/8/20 at 4:05 am
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:20 pm to financetiger
First off, this is why I come to the OT. Good stuff. I wish you the best. You should definitely try to talk to the grandparents also.
Good luck OP.
Good luck OP.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:21 pm to financetiger
At least this happened in an otherwise uneventful year.
I have a cousin that found out he had an adult son he didn't know about, and it turned out better for all.
I have a cousin that found out he had an adult son he didn't know about, and it turned out better for all.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:22 pm to Cracker
quote:
Why the frick would anyone do these stupid stupid tests
To confirm that they are 8% Ukrainian and 6% East Asian.
Definitely must be a life changing experience to get the results...
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:22 pm to financetiger
This is funny because I have an uncle who has gone through pretty much your exact situation except an unknown daughter instead of son.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:24 pm to financetiger
sleep with the boys wife and move to Church Point.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:24 pm to LSUBoo
quote:
How do you feel about this? Obviously it worked out for everyone involved, but in the end you missed out on your son’s life. I really don’t know how I would feel about it.
Exactly what I'm feeling. Don't think they want anything. His wife said that several times. I messaged back I am glad he found me and that I am sorry I didn't know of him years ago. I just don't know what to think. Wife is truly not upset, just shocked.
And again, not to be mean, but you don't want pics of the mom. Sounds like she's had some struggles of her own along the years.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:24 pm to UncleLester
quote:
To confirm that they are 8% Ukrainian and 6% East Asian.
My sister did one so I already know this.
Well, assuming that we have the same parents. I am going to just keep assuming that and go on with my life.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:25 pm to financetiger
quote:
Thought it was a joke at first and someone trying to scam us. Then his wife sent me some pics to go check out on her FB and my wife immediately said, "he's your son".
Well, congrats on the new kid and potential grandkids
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:27 pm to financetiger
quote:
Sounds like she's had some struggles of her own along the years.
Evidently if his grandparents raised him. I get you forgetting the mother’s name. You haven’t thought about her for 30 years. But she had a daily reminder for that same time period.
Posted on 7/10/20 at 6:27 pm to financetiger
I agree with others.
Make sure he is genetically yours first.
Then reach out and offer to meet up for lunch.
Take things from there and make sure he knows you had no idea he existed.
If he wants nothing to do with you - that should be HIS choice, not yours or his biological mothers.
Make sure he is genetically yours first.
Then reach out and offer to meet up for lunch.
Take things from there and make sure he knows you had no idea he existed.
If he wants nothing to do with you - that should be HIS choice, not yours or his biological mothers.
This post was edited on 7/10/20 at 8:02 pm
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