re: It amazes me how unusual common courtesy is to people in the north

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The only real difference I've seen between native Northeasterners and the rest of us is they are very highly wound and uptight.

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Hi, native New Englander here. Yes, common courtesy is different up north than it is down south. It was explained to me by many adults growing up you avoid calling an adult woman "ma'am" as it is a contraction of madam and madam refers to an old lady. Doesn't mean that right, but that's how I was brought up. Now, instead of calling someone sir or ma'am I was brought up to say "Mr. Brown" or "Mrs. Smith" because we pretty much knew everyone in town. If you didn't know someone you introduced yourself to find out how they would like to be addressed in a public way.

The holding the door thing mindset still exists, but you hold it for everyone if you are immediately entering or exiting. I'm not a paid door greeter, nor do I expect someone stand there for more than 5 seconds to open a door for me or others. If there is an elderly person, I was taught to ask if they would like some assistance or would like the door held for them. There's plenty of strong-willed people up north and see it as an insult if you coddle them.

I wonder if the same people who identify the rudeness of northerners also find nothing wrong with calling someone "boy" or "son" with a particular tone. Up north that is downright rude, mainly because the name of the person was not used in addressing them.

Oh Roger. I will fully admit that people up here live more harried lives than in, say Alaska, or a sleepy Southern town. However, people up here are generally a lot less stressed and miserable than you seen to think.

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people up here are generally a lot less stressed and miserable than you seen to think.

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Some of the most awesome people I've met were from New Hampshire and upstate NY. People from the cities I can't say the same for...

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Agreed, I'm in NY now and I've found 1 waitress with some hospitality, every other one seems like they are in too much of a rush for me.

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I get what you're saying, but with that comes much more prompt service. I've gotten used to that style of service, and now when I go home and go out to eat, I almost always find myself wondering what in the hell is taking so long.

Not that I ever say something to the servers in those situations. I am in the habit of being nicer to servers than any other person on the planet.

While I do think inherent, actual rudeness is more common in Northern cities, most of the distinction isn't civility vs incivility. It's just different culturally.

That said, I find Southern-style pleasantries and a more outgoing social environment preferable, within reason.

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saying “yes ma’am/sir”
this is absolutely meaningless except that it means you've been programmed to do it

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Not true. I say it respectfully. You don't know why a person says it! Are you somehow plugged into the consciousness of all mankind? Able to read each and every feeling, thought, and memory? Quite confident aren't we?

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You must be pretty butthurt over the Navy not being able to sail or a troll with lackluster skills.

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There’s that common courtesy

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Y’all realize I’m talking about kids right?

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They are not your kids.

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How old are y’all? No way you were a kid in the 80

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B. '82

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I actually spent a significant amount of time in New England; Massachusetts, Connecticut, and New Jersey (I know NJ isn’t considered NE) and Although you meet assholes everywhere, I didn’t find any of them to be as rude as Cajuns (particularly the older crabby women) in Louisiana.

All of those states had more agreeable people and are more welcoming than Louisiana, especially if you’re an outsider.

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Real Cajuns are suspicious of outsiders, it is just the way they are. It isn't really rudeness IMO. But once they realize your a straighter shoot and not up to something they are the most welcoming people you will ever find.

Recently I travelled through Indiana and Ohio. I have to say everyone I met and chatted was friendly and personable.