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In New Cut Of Empire Strikes Back, Vader Will Now Say 'I Am Your Non-Birthing Person!'
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:07 am
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:07 am
quote:
In New Cut Of Empire Strikes Back, Vader Will Now Say 'I Am Your Non-Birthing Person!'
Babylon Bee
BURBANK, CA—Disney confirmed today that all releases of The Empire Strikes Back will be rereleased with Darth Vader delivering his iconic line "No -- I am your father!" as "No -- I am your non-birthing person!"
The change will be more inclusive to non-binary people, who all love Star Wars, though most of them have only seen The Last Jedi. But Disney is hopeful this will get these new loyal fans to watch the rest of the movies and buy more merchandise.
"Think about all the trans people who have had to watch Empire and suffer in silence as Vader uses the word 'father,'" said Kathleen Kennedy.
quote:
Warner Bros. will release a new Inclusive Cut of the Director's Cut of Batman vs. Superman, where Batperson is stunned to find out that Superperson's birthing person's name is also Martha.
12
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:08 am to goofball
I enjoy the Bee as much as the next guy, but does everything that they produce have to end up here?
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:10 am to GoldenBoy
quote:
GoldenBoy
Listen Golden Non-Birthing Person. You are being a real birthing dog about this.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:11 am to goofball
Anyone think it’s racist Lucas made Vader black and not there for his son when he grew up?
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:12 am to GoldenBoy
quote:
I enjoy the Bee as much as the next guy, but does everything that they produce have to end up here?
That’s a gross exaggeration, but I get what you’re saying. These threads were great for awhile because a lot of people were unaware of the existence of the Bee. Now, probably not so much.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:15 am to goofball
quote:
his iconic line "No -- I am your father!"
That's actually one of those Mandella Effects. He actually say, "Luke, I am your father" but everyone remembers it the other way.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:20 am to OysterPoBoy
Yo birthing person is so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:23 am to OysterPoBoy
quote:
That's actually one of those Mandella Effects. He actually say, "Luke, I am your father" but everyone remembers it the other way
One of my trivia questions is “what movie has the line “Luke, I am your father.”?
This post was edited on 5/11/21 at 9:24 am
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:24 am to goofball
He’s your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:24 am to teke184
Yo birthing person is so ugly the CDC recommended she wear a mask outside waaaay before the pandemic.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:25 am to The Boat
quote:
Anyone think it’s racist Lucas made Vader black and not there for his son when he grew up?
No, you seem to be the only one dumb enough to leap to this conclusion. Congratulations.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:27 am to GoldenBoy
This guy starts about 13 god awful threads a day, so good luck with that
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:28 am to S
He really is a terrible poster.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:28 am to goofball
Meh, I’ve seen funnier stuff from the Bee.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:29 am to EarlyCuyler3
quote:
He really is a terrible poster.
Coming from you, that’s rich.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:40 am to The Boat
quote:
Anyone think it’s racist Lucas made Vader black and not there for his son when he grew up?
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:41 am to fr33manator
quote:
Coming from you, that’s rich.
I don't start stupid threads daily
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:43 am to goofball
Not funny or believable.
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:50 am to GoldenBoy
quote:
I enjoy the Bee as much as the next guy, but does everything that they produce have to end up here?
This goofball dude literally sets an alarm in his phone to post them here I think.
But when you ask about that or point it out (like you did), you'll get downvoted. The BB is funny sometimes, but it's overkilled on this board for sure. But the masses like it I guess.
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