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In New Cut Of Empire Strikes Back, Vader Will Now Say 'I Am Your Non-Birthing Person!'

Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:07 am
Posted by goofball
Member since Mar 2015
16867 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:07 am
quote:

In New Cut Of Empire Strikes Back, Vader Will Now Say 'I Am Your Non-Birthing Person!'



Babylon Bee

BURBANK, CA—Disney confirmed today that all releases of The Empire Strikes Back will be rereleased with Darth Vader delivering his iconic line "No -- I am your father!" as "No -- I am your non-birthing person!"

The change will be more inclusive to non-binary people, who all love Star Wars, though most of them have only seen The Last Jedi. But Disney is hopeful this will get these new loyal fans to watch the rest of the movies and buy more merchandise.

"Think about all the trans people who have had to watch Empire and suffer in silence as Vader uses the word 'father,'" said Kathleen Kennedy.


quote:

Warner Bros. will release a new Inclusive Cut of the Director's Cut of Batman vs. Superman, where Batperson is stunned to find out that Superperson's birthing person's name is also Martha.
Posted by GoldenBoy
Winning!
Member since Nov 2004
42011 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:08 am to
I enjoy the Bee as much as the next guy, but does everything that they produce have to end up here?
Posted by goofball
Member since Mar 2015
16867 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:10 am to
quote:

GoldenBoy


Listen Golden Non-Birthing Person. You are being a real birthing dog about this.
Posted by The Boat
Member since Oct 2008
164137 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:11 am to
Anyone think it’s racist Lucas made Vader black and not there for his son when he grew up?
Posted by High C
viewing the fall....
Member since Nov 2012
53809 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:12 am to
quote:

I enjoy the Bee as much as the next guy, but does everything that they produce have to end up here?


That’s a gross exaggeration, but I get what you’re saying. These threads were great for awhile because a lot of people were unaware of the existence of the Bee. Now, probably not so much.
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
35158 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:15 am to
quote:

his iconic line "No -- I am your father!"


That's actually one of those Mandella Effects. He actually say, "Luke, I am your father" but everyone remembers it the other way.
Posted by goofball
Member since Mar 2015
16867 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:20 am to
Yo birthing person is so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124268 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:23 am to
quote:

That's actually one of those Mandella Effects. He actually say, "Luke, I am your father" but everyone remembers it the other way



One of my trivia questions is “what movie has the line “Luke, I am your father.”?
This post was edited on 5/11/21 at 9:24 am
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
95731 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:24 am to
He’s your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
Posted by goofball
Member since Mar 2015
16867 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:24 am to
Yo birthing person is so ugly the CDC recommended she wear a mask outside waaaay before the pandemic.
Posted by EarlyCuyler3
Appalachia
Member since Nov 2017
27290 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:25 am to
quote:

Anyone think it’s racist Lucas made Vader black and not there for his son when he grew up?




No, you seem to be the only one dumb enough to leap to this conclusion. Congratulations.
Posted by Hoodie
Donaldsonville, LA
Member since Dec 2019
2998 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:26 am to
Oh, that wacky Bee!
Posted by S
RIP Wayde
Member since Jan 2007
155648 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:27 am to
This guy starts about 13 god awful threads a day, so good luck with that
Posted by EarlyCuyler3
Appalachia
Member since Nov 2017
27290 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:28 am to
He really is a terrible poster.
Posted by UndercoverBryologist
Member since Nov 2020
8077 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:28 am to
Meh, I’ve seen funnier stuff from the Bee.

Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124268 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:29 am to
quote:

He really is a terrible poster.




Coming from you, that’s rich.
Posted by Jyrdis
TD Premium Member Level III
Member since Aug 2015
12798 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:40 am to
quote:

Anyone think it’s racist Lucas made Vader black and not there for his son when he grew up?



Posted by EarlyCuyler3
Appalachia
Member since Nov 2017
27290 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:41 am to
quote:

Coming from you, that’s rich.


I don't start stupid threads daily
Posted by Jebadeb
Member since Oct 2017
4768 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:43 am to
Not funny or believable.
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
150758 posts
Posted on 5/11/21 at 9:50 am to
quote:

I enjoy the Bee as much as the next guy, but does everything that they produce have to end up here?

This goofball dude literally sets an alarm in his phone to post them here I think.

But when you ask about that or point it out (like you did), you'll get downvoted. The BB is funny sometimes, but it's overkilled on this board for sure. But the masses like it I guess.
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