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re: I need help dealing with my aunt
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:56 am to I20 West
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:56 am to I20 West
The reality is she is wanting your help, but there is nothing you can do. You can't sacrifice your existence for someone who won't help themselves. You set a healthy boundary with your cousin. She can't see that because based on what you have said about the situation, she does not appear to understand what a healthy boundary looks like.
I'd just tell her (in a nice constructive way) how you feel. Then move on and quit worrying about it. Or just cope with being around her and ignore it. Saying something probably won't do any good because (I imagine she won't understand why you feel the way you do.
Don't expect people to be anything different then what you know them to be. We get a lot less frustrated with them when we expect what we know to expect.
I'd just tell her (in a nice constructive way) how you feel. Then move on and quit worrying about it. Or just cope with being around her and ignore it. Saying something probably won't do any good because (I imagine she won't understand why you feel the way you do.
Don't expect people to be anything different then what you know them to be. We get a lot less frustrated with them when we expect what we know to expect.
0
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:58 am to upgrayedd
quote:
quote:
Give him my number. I’d like to rsvp for next shindig.
We all know your ankle monitor won't allow you to attend
I’ve been on good behavior. If I get a far enough notice, I can request a weekend pass from my probation officer.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:58 am to I20 West
quote:
I finally cut ties with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page.
Tell her.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:58 am to I20 West
quote:
About 10 years ago he was 25
So, he's about 35 now. She needs to stop treating her son like he's 7. Seriously, as I started reading, I figured the kid would be maybe late teens at the oldest. This is a grown adult. If he cares whether his relatives associate with him, he needs to take care of it, not his mommy.
quote:
I need help dealing with my aunt
I'd start by sending her a copy of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th paragraph of your original post. If she can't understand that, she is an idiot.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:00 am to I20 West
I would bring a gun and fire off a few rounds into the air before entering the house. It lets everyone know you mean business but aren't actually wanting to hurt anyone
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:01 am to I20 West
Dear Aunt PainintheAzz;
There's 2 kinds of people in this world. Ones that build you up. Ones that tear ya down. Cousin RandyQuaid is the latter. I doubt I'll even attend his funeral in the near future.
Sincerely,
Nephew with his Stuff Together and Head on Straight
There's 2 kinds of people in this world. Ones that build you up. Ones that tear ya down. Cousin RandyQuaid is the latter. I doubt I'll even attend his funeral in the near future.
Sincerely,
Nephew with his Stuff Together and Head on Straight
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:02 am to Pettifogger
quote:
Because he's a frick up, a bad apple, a useless immature adult manchild and I have my own life that I won't let him drag down. If he wants to grow up and be a productive member of society I'll help him and be his friend. But blood ties don't mean I need to associate with destructive people."
This.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:02 am to SuperSaint
Well, I'm sure if you pay OPP enough money, they'd probably let you do whatever you want
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:03 am to Ssubba
quote:
I've actually had the same conversation with my own aunt. I used to be close with my cousin, but over the years we've drifted apart, mostly due to him going down a bad path in his life. For the first couple of years I tried to play the 'savior' role, but eventually you just get tired of dealing with the individual.
This. I'm done with him unless the guy turns it around and it lasts longer than a month. She always says "he's doing so good right now."
This post was edited on 10/16/19 at 11:08 am
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:07 am to I20 West
I have this cousin. Everybody hated this cousin, my own family hated this cousin. And then a couple of years ago, my cousin fell off of a horse and broke his neck. We all refer to that as “the Superman incident.” Because that horse is a hero.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:21 am to I20 West
quote:
This. I'm done with him unless the guy turns it around and it lasts longer than a month. She always says "he's doing so good right now."
Unless you guys have a ton of shared history or something, treat him like any other loser you encounter. I understand breaking your own rules for a cousin you grew up with like brothers or something, but otherwise it's not worth it.
I mean, doesn't seem like he's treating you with any particular familial respect, I don't think you owe any special obligation to him either. You may owe an obligation to his mom to tell her the truth in the most respectful way possible, but that's it.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:24 am to I20 West
quote:
I finally cut off all contact with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page
Of all the shite you posted, THIS is what led you to cut off all contact?
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:24 am to I20 West
I have a dickwad cousin I don’t talk to. Just tell your aunt you don’t want him around your family, because he’s a generally shitty human being. The truth isn’t always there to make people feel good.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:25 am to I20 West
Why don't you just come out and tell her the reason why and just man up and be honest instead of dancing around the issue at hand?
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:26 am to I20 West
How much would you spend to make them disappear?
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:31 am to I20 West
You don't need the noise he makes in your life
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:36 am to I20 West
Tell your aunt that you want to see her, but you have no interest in seeing her deadbeat son.
If she doesn't like that then it's her problem.
If she doesn't like that then it's her problem.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:40 am to Geauxboy
quote:
Of all the shite you posted, THIS is what led you to cut off all contact?
It was a build up to that point. I was no longer in my hometown, so I didn't have to see him. Our main contact with each other was through social media. Once he harassed my friend on there I just deleted him and haven't responded to any of his messages or calls since.
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:44 am to I20 West
Here's your solution: Now we have Narcan resistant Fentanyl (Page 1 2 3 4 5)
Posted on 10/16/19 at 11:46 am to I20 West
OP has more problems than his Aunt if he isn't man enough to deal with her nagging on his own. Seriously, OP, act like a grown arse man and stop whining to the OT for help.
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