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Started By
Message
I have been bothered for more than 30 years. Help finish joke
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:02 pm
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:02 pm
I have never found the answer.
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...
Rumor is Bender just made it up. Calling bullshite. I know it has an ending.
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...
Rumor is Bender just made it up. Calling bullshite. I know it has an ending.
20
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:04 pm to TigerFred
How many you had tonight?
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:04 pm to TigerFred
You think I asked for a 12 inch pianist.
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:05 pm to TigerFred
quote:
TigerFred
Did you break the seal on a Jim beam decanter that looks like Elvis?
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:05 pm to TigerFred
Futurama has been on for 30 years?
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:07 pm to DeafJam73
quote:
Futurama has been on for 30 years?
Breakfast Club
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:07 pm to TigerFred
this thread has been done
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:08 pm to TigerFred
The blonde says "I definitely do, after what just happened to me."
The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"
The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says 'I'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage'. So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"
The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"
The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says 'I'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage'. So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:08 pm to TigerFred
Just a cigarette after me and the salami finish playing whack-a-poodle.
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:08 pm to TigerFred
quote:
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...
"I definitely do, after what just happened to me."
The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"
The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says 'I'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage'. So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:09 pm to lsuroadie
So has every huskier thread every other day. I still don’t have the answer. And apparently there are too many youngsters that have no idea.
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:09 pm to TigerFred
Stolen from Reddit
quote:
The blonde says "I definitely do, after what just happened to me."The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says 'I'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage'. So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"
quote:
The blonde says, "Well, actually, I am currently playing a game with this guy and I needed somewhere to hide for a while, so I came here."
The bartender asks, "What game were you playing?" to which the blonde replies, "It's called Let's hide the salami."
The bartender snickers and says, "I don't think that's how you play the game... I'm pretty sure he just wanted to have sex with you."
The blonde gasps and shakes her head, replying "No, no, you're wrong. It's not like that at all! In fact, I just came from the pet salon because he wanted me to style his doggy."
This post was edited on 6/25/19 at 9:11 pm
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:09 pm to TigerFred
EDIT: I bet Scruffy heard how it ended.
This post was edited on 6/25/19 at 9:11 pm
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:09 pm to TigerFred
quote:
The blonde says "I definitely do, after what just happened to me."The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says 'I'm gonna pound my favorite bitch with my giant sausage'. So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"
ETA JML beat me to it
This post was edited on 6/25/19 at 9:10 pm
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:09 pm to TigerFred
lady says,,, well im not shoving this salami up this poodles arse stone cold sober
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:12 pm to TigerFred
Then the lady says:
The dog shite all over my husbands shorts and he threw the dog out. I’m gonna feed it some edibles and this salami while I get drunk and bang all these loser posters in the parking lot
The dog shite all over my husbands shorts and he threw the dog out. I’m gonna feed it some edibles and this salami while I get drunk and bang all these loser posters in the parking lot
This post was edited on 6/25/19 at 9:13 pm
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:13 pm to OWLFAN86
One day a man is in a horrible car wreck.
He loses his arm, and goes to a specialist in prosthetic limbs.
Unfortunately, the man does not have enough money.
"Doc, I just don’t have the money for an arm!" he says.
The doc responds, "Well, we do have a test model that isn’t quite perfect yet, but we need to study it, so you can have it for now."
The man is jubilant, and tries on his new arm.
"This thing is voice activated," the doctor says. "Watch: ‘Arm. Grab can’"
The prosthetic limb grabs a soda can on the table.
"’Arm. Lift can to mouth.’"
Again the arm responds beautifully.
The man is overjoyed.
Soon, he is showing off his new arm to his buddies at the bar. "’Arm. Grab beer. Arm. Lift beer to mouth.’"
His friends are amazed and congradulate him.
Soon, nature calls, so the man enters the restroom.
In the restroom, he utters commands to go to the bathroom. "’Arm. Unzip pants. Grab penis.’"
The arm does as it’s told.
After the man is done, he orders, "’Arm. Shake penis.’"
It does so, and the man, feeling the alcohol, decides that since no one is watching, he’ll give his new arm a try at his favorite hobby.
"’Arm. Jerk off.’"
The arm violently rips off his penis.
Startled, the man shouts, "Oh frick me!"
So the arm replies correctly, and shoves the bloody stump up the man’s rear a few times.
Completely confused, the man shouts, "Holy shite! Would you look at that!"
And the arm shoves the stump in the man’s eye.
He loses his arm, and goes to a specialist in prosthetic limbs.
Unfortunately, the man does not have enough money.
"Doc, I just don’t have the money for an arm!" he says.
The doc responds, "Well, we do have a test model that isn’t quite perfect yet, but we need to study it, so you can have it for now."
The man is jubilant, and tries on his new arm.
"This thing is voice activated," the doctor says. "Watch: ‘Arm. Grab can’"
The prosthetic limb grabs a soda can on the table.
"’Arm. Lift can to mouth.’"
Again the arm responds beautifully.
The man is overjoyed.
Soon, he is showing off his new arm to his buddies at the bar. "’Arm. Grab beer. Arm. Lift beer to mouth.’"
His friends are amazed and congradulate him.
Soon, nature calls, so the man enters the restroom.
In the restroom, he utters commands to go to the bathroom. "’Arm. Unzip pants. Grab penis.’"
The arm does as it’s told.
After the man is done, he orders, "’Arm. Shake penis.’"
It does so, and the man, feeling the alcohol, decides that since no one is watching, he’ll give his new arm a try at his favorite hobby.
"’Arm. Jerk off.’"
The arm violently rips off his penis.
Startled, the man shouts, "Oh frick me!"
So the arm replies correctly, and shoves the bloody stump up the man’s rear a few times.
Completely confused, the man shouts, "Holy shite! Would you look at that!"
And the arm shoves the stump in the man’s eye.
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:15 pm to TigerFred
Something something about a bet, an octopus and a set of bagpipes, and a lot of obscene noise, and as soon the octopus figures out that he can’t screw it, he’ll learn to play it.
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:23 pm to TigerFred
Naked lady says "I got these for my husband"
Bartender says "GOOD TRADE !"
Bartender says "GOOD TRADE !"
Posted on 6/25/19 at 9:29 pm to TigerFred
...he's not an eggplant, he's retarded.
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