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1
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:01 pm to Mumbler
I think I’ve got it: a Ukrainian death squad, disguised as a Russian death squad, disguised as an independent mercenary crew disguised as an international aid group. The bear will think it’s about to be whisked off to safely but instead they’ll kill it slowly.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:02 pm to Octopus
If I was with a hiking partner I would immediately start taking off my hiking boots and putting on my tennis shoes. When he remarks that I won't be able to outrun that bear even with tennis shoes I would remind him that all I have to do is outrun him.
That wouldn't kill the bear but I would get away
That wouldn't kill the bear but I would get away
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:16 pm to FredBear
Lol.
Some of you baws are messed up.
Some of you baws are messed up.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:18 pm to Octopus
I would feed it regularly until it died of natural causes.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:18 pm to Octopus
Is there an age limit to post here? There should be...
quote:
If I knew that I was going to Alaska beforehand, then I would take a Samurai Katana that measured 3.5 feet from the hilt, to the blade.
Bear claws and teeth are very formidable, but one thrust through its stomach, and another straight into a foot, might make it rethink things.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:18 pm to Octopus
Go to man camp learn how to be a man buy a real gun
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:41 pm to Octopus
I’d just take off my mask when it got close.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:44 pm to Octopus
a large flaming torch would probably keep the bear away
Posted on 4/3/22 at 1:44 pm to CaptSpaulding
I would let it read a couple of OweO’s threads -then it would toss itself off a cliff
Posted on 4/3/22 at 2:13 pm to Octopus
Id make a mean face and watch it suicide out of fear
Posted on 4/3/22 at 2:28 pm to SEClint
It’ll probably drop dead after it smells your breath. Hiyo
If I were to catch it on say a Monday morning of a long miserable week ahead, I’d hit it with a barrage of griping and fussing and bad attitude, and it would most certainly say it’s not worth it. That’s my specialty.
If I were to catch it on say a Monday morning of a long miserable week ahead, I’d hit it with a barrage of griping and fussing and bad attitude, and it would most certainly say it’s not worth it. That’s my specialty.
This post was edited on 4/3/22 at 2:29 pm
Posted on 4/3/22 at 2:29 pm to Octopus
I wouldn't be in Alaskan wilderness without a gun.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 3:00 pm to DownshiftAndFloorIt
quote:
That would do nothing.
I'd bring a Magnum PI
Griswold using a Magnum PI against John Candy in Vacation.
"It could cause a very bad infection."
Posted on 4/3/22 at 3:10 pm to Octopus
I would surround myself with zombies (28 Days Later kind, not TWD type) & after dousing myself in old blood to throw them off my scent. I would hang up a fresh blood rag and set a trip wire to an air horn. When the bear smells the blood rag and comes for it, he will trip the air horn.
The zombies would go towards the noise and the bear thinking these are some pussy arse bitch pink skins gets a rude awakening when a horde of zombies chases his fatass down and gives him the pirrhana treatment. My guess is the bear takes out about seven Z’s before he realizes he’s the hunted and not the hunter.
Anyway, while the Zombies are distracted by snacking on the bear. I’ll hop into my $275K EV Hummer and crab walk the frick outta there.
That’s how I would do it.
The zombies would go towards the noise and the bear thinking these are some pussy arse bitch pink skins gets a rude awakening when a horde of zombies chases his fatass down and gives him the pirrhana treatment. My guess is the bear takes out about seven Z’s before he realizes he’s the hunted and not the hunter.
Anyway, while the Zombies are distracted by snacking on the bear. I’ll hop into my $275K EV Hummer and crab walk the frick outta there.
That’s how I would do it.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 3:13 pm to Octopus
Choke on my skull while he's trying to swallow the last of my remains
Posted on 4/3/22 at 3:17 pm to Octopus
Some late night taco bell.
Give that mtfer some diarrhea so bad it gets ko'd. Then take a knife to it's neck
Give that mtfer some diarrhea so bad it gets ko'd. Then take a knife to it's neck
Posted on 4/3/22 at 3:41 pm to htran90
A flame thrower could work.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 3:56 pm to Octopus
Handful of cyanide capsules. Hopefully it dies before it can eat the rest of me and only gets the one arm/hand.
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