How old were you when you got your first participation trophy?

I was 7 playing tee ball, we lost our last game 0-7. I remember riding home in my dad's truck with a giant gold trophy in my hand, shite eating grin on my face.

My dad says "I don't know what you're smiling about, you're a god damned loser"

I looked up and said "that's not what my hard wear says bitch"

He picked his hand up to backhand me but realized it was futile. My entitled lazy ways were set in stone for the rest of my life, and he knew it. We rode off into the sunset, golden trophy reflecting a generation that would never have to work hard again.