re: How much time is appropriate to wait to start dating again after a spouse dies?

Sorry to hear that, OweO. It was like that with my Mom when she passed from metastatic breast cancer. She declined quickly over a 9 month period. I had accepted and largely made my peace with her dying before she physically did.

If she showed up with a date to actual funeral? You can’t be serious. Before the dude is even put in the ground?

I think she reached a point where she understood what was happening. And when she was in palliative care at the hospital before coming home into hospice she told me she was “tired” and that my brother and her Dad were “there with her”. I like to think that was a comfort to her at that point.

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In laws have a friend in her 80s that took her husband out of her shared Facebook account profile pic two weeks after her husband died earlier this month. Told her recently divorced daughter she is going to move on with her so they can go out looking for new men. This is after 60+ years of marriage. Seems odd to me but I’m not in her shoes.

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Kind of awkward for the daughter that her 80+ year old mom is gonna be getting her artificial hip cracked in the next bedroom by some random geezer baw

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ia date to actual funeral? You can’t be serious. Before the dude is even put in the ground?

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He was put in the ground last month. But my loyalty to the woman that fed me one Thanksgiving after another trumps it all, because she's still the one alive. It's no disrespect to the dad, we got along great. But she's the one that needs love more than anyone.

Maybe there's some dude that likes to garden from down the block she decided to bring, maybe there is a dude that shows her affection, I don't care. It's my business to be there for her, in the way she needs me to be.

I’m dealing with this in my own life now. I can tell you it’s HEAVY. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a spouse they loved.

An earlier woman I dated called it Widow’s Fever. She just couldn’t get enough. It’s so psychologically predictable. Plus a lot of times there was a long period of caretaking before hand. I think the correct answer is it’s different for different people. One year seems too long.

I think there's too many variables to pick some arbitrary number. I'd think there's a lot of things to manage after the death of a spouse that would take up quite a bit of time before I'd be thinking about dating.

Might be a few months, might be a year. It depends on the person.

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I mean…she will never find out about it and you will never know

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Based on you're word's here, would her dead husband even know or find out about it? She's single. Her issue. Not yours. You sound like a Southern Baptist who drinks on Saturday night and goes to church on Sunday. Hell, I'm on of those, I'd never act the way you have today. I'd respect her choice and just simply, move the frick on. It's none of your concern.

Many women cannot operate alone. They are different than men. They need safety, they need someone to talk to and harass.

Clock is ticking for what? For you to go to sleep? By all means, knock yourself out.