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re: How many times in your adult life have you legit shite your pants
Posted on 12/10/19 at 3:38 am to OysterPoBoy
Posted on 12/10/19 at 3:38 am to OysterPoBoy
About 5x. Always less than like 30 seconds away from the toilet and just couldn't make it.
fricking embarrassing.
fricking embarrassing.
0
Posted on 12/10/19 at 4:25 am to Mr Personality
A couple of times. Before I learned about lactose problems
Posted on 12/10/19 at 6:48 am to Gorilla Ball
Once or twice or a few more times.
Who hasn't been here?
I was once travelling with my kids, got to our hotel late at night. About an hour before I had eaten chic-fil-a and drank a coffee. Got to the hotel, had to shite so bad I couldn't move. Parking lot was full, I knew if I tried to make it to the lobby bathroom I'd shite my pants. Found the only parking spot in the lot, said "girls, yall sit tight", threw the door open, squatted down and left a big pile of shite on the ground. Said "hand me those napkins from chi-fil-a." Got the same "Daddy, noooo".
Told the kids "Like I always say, it's better to shite on the side of the road than in your pants." apparently they always thought that was a joke. It must have traumatized them because they have never spoken a word of that.
Who hasn't been here?
I was once travelling with my kids, got to our hotel late at night. About an hour before I had eaten chic-fil-a and drank a coffee. Got to the hotel, had to shite so bad I couldn't move. Parking lot was full, I knew if I tried to make it to the lobby bathroom I'd shite my pants. Found the only parking spot in the lot, said "girls, yall sit tight", threw the door open, squatted down and left a big pile of shite on the ground. Said "hand me those napkins from chi-fil-a." Got the same "Daddy, noooo".
Told the kids "Like I always say, it's better to shite on the side of the road than in your pants." apparently they always thought that was a joke. It must have traumatized them because they have never spoken a word of that.
Posted on 12/10/19 at 7:02 am to Mr Personality
In high school I was eating at a new Hibachi restaurant with my girlfriend and a couple of our friends. Everything was fine. Food was great. My girlfriend and her friends wanted to do a little shopping afterwards so I rode home by myself. This turned out to be a true blessing from the sweet Lord himself.
I am about 10 minutes from my house when I feel this awful twist in my stomach. I proceed to hover over my CLOTH seats in my car puckering my arse hole the whole way home. I am dog cussing my arse hole to stay closed, sweating profusely.
You may be thinking, why didn't you just pull over, get out and shite on the road. I legit could not move without shitting myself.I turn on the road towards my house and the result of me making a sudden turn in the steering wheel and relaxing my cheeks ever so slightly results in me full on arse blasting my pants. Straight water. But I think to myself its fine I'm hovering over the seats its all ok.
I get out of my car, I can feel it all down my legs and in my shoes. I look at my seat and its covered in black liquid. The car reeks. I throw up beside the car its so bad. My dad comes out and is just amazed at what my arse has done to this car. We had to replace the entire seat. The smell lingered for a good 3 weeks and I had to use my grandmothers beat up old truck till the smell was gone.
That Hibachi restaurant closed down 3 months later. I woke up the next morning and my entire body feels like I played three football games bc I was so tense hovering over my seat on the way home for 10 straight minutes.
I am about 10 minutes from my house when I feel this awful twist in my stomach. I proceed to hover over my CLOTH seats in my car puckering my arse hole the whole way home. I am dog cussing my arse hole to stay closed, sweating profusely.
You may be thinking, why didn't you just pull over, get out and shite on the road. I legit could not move without shitting myself.I turn on the road towards my house and the result of me making a sudden turn in the steering wheel and relaxing my cheeks ever so slightly results in me full on arse blasting my pants. Straight water. But I think to myself its fine I'm hovering over the seats its all ok.
I get out of my car, I can feel it all down my legs and in my shoes. I look at my seat and its covered in black liquid. The car reeks. I throw up beside the car its so bad. My dad comes out and is just amazed at what my arse has done to this car. We had to replace the entire seat. The smell lingered for a good 3 weeks and I had to use my grandmothers beat up old truck till the smell was gone.
That Hibachi restaurant closed down 3 months later. I woke up the next morning and my entire body feels like I played three football games bc I was so tense hovering over my seat on the way home for 10 straight minutes.
This post was edited on 12/10/19 at 7:07 am
Posted on 12/10/19 at 7:06 am to Mr Personality
Twice. Both were while eating after a long night of whiskey. Had to fart, squirts came out
Posted on 12/10/19 at 7:12 am to northshorebamaman
Another time I shite myself. Had the flu. Sneezed.
I was wearing a t shirt and boxers. A turd fell out. I go to get a paper towel to pick it up. I turn around and my dog has already taken care of it.
That dog was a sick frick but I loved her.
I was wearing a t shirt and boxers. A turd fell out. I go to get a paper towel to pick it up. I turn around and my dog has already taken care of it.
That dog was a sick frick but I loved her.
Posted on 12/10/19 at 7:23 am to Mr Personality
Freshman year of college I was on pace to be late to the Bio Lab. I was 90% done with the 10 minute walk to my car from the dorm when I sharted but decided to power through. Felt a bit reach all the way to the thigh. Not sure how bad I smelled but the paranoia was real
This post was edited on 12/10/19 at 7:25 am
Posted on 12/10/19 at 9:26 am to Korkstand
quote:
Once on a first date.
Once in the streets of Venice on my First honeymoon.
Same woman?
No sir. The first date one started dating girls shortly thereafter.
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