re: How many married OTers have seperate bank accounts?

We do. Got married later in life when we both had accounts. Seems easier this way. We have discussed merging them a couple of times; but can't find a good reason to upset the status quo.

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How many married OTers have seperate bank accounts? by Sev09

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I know, man. Everyone's got em split.

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we have separate "spending" accounts where our monthly "allowance" goes

we still have a joint checking for all the bills and other expenses

and joint savings

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This. Mainly because we both work and make roughly the same amount of money. Also, with paychecks going into a checking acct with no checks, and no debit cards, we have to actively set money aside for purchases, bills, spending money. Cuts back on unnecessary things, or purchases that only one of us know about. All accounts are visible to each other.

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Some advice from one who's been there: find out how much she owes. Keeping secrets like that is a bunch of bullshite--at least in my view--and I don't want to be with a partner who hides that kind of shite.

Eventually the truth will come out--usually when your family is in some financial crisis and you need to reign things in--only to find your SO has a mammoth debt you had no idea about

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We addressed this early, with me showing all of my accts to her and vice versa through a credit report with all 3 credit scores. Even now we check scores periodically 1)to make sure no one steals our identity and 2)to make sure old habits don't come back. We knocked out all cc debt early and have been building a nice nest egg since.

Anyone getting married and not willing to do this should have big red flags going up.

If your first marriage is successful and you have kids together, I can see just having a joint account that both spouses deposit their paychecks into,

BUT, that does require a much greater level of trust than separate accounts. Joint accounts allows the spouse to spend all their money then start in on yours, which leads to constant financial arguments about what your joint earnings should be spent on, which leads to divorce, which leads to you getting cleaned out because the spouse then gets half of whatever was left that they didn't already spend that you earned.


Each spouse should have an individual account and each month each spouse deposits a set agreed upon amount from their individual account into a joint account for fixed/shared expenses like house note, utilities.

This is not a hassle. It causes you to write one extra check a month. Deposit enough in the joint to cover the agreed upon fixed expenses and that is all.

Now both spouses have control over the remainder of their earned income for discretionary spending. Neither spouse should complain about what the other one does with their discretionary income.

It avoids a lot of arguments over finances and if there is a breakup later, neither spouse can get money out of the others individual account in a property settlement, just make sure you never co-mingle the funds.

(this assumes you aren't a sugar daddy and both spouses work of course)

I am actually consolidating ours for ease. Been married 8 years. Have always had different accounts but don't feel the need for them anymore. I handle all of the finances so having auto drafts from one account will be easier.

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that does require a much greater level of trust than separate accounts.

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why would I marry someone I didn't trust?

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why would I marry someone I didn't trust?

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You guys just love to rub it in don't you.

Maybe if you trusted your wife you wouldn't have to worry about divorce