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re: How do you punish your kids?
Posted on 12/14/18 at 5:49 am to Masterag
Posted on 12/14/18 at 5:49 am to Masterag
quote:
sounds like his motivation is video games. use that. restrict that, but give him other more meaningful and educational things to do. you could get him music lessons. My parents made me take music lessons starting at 8.
It sounds like they are his motivation.. and we have restricted them..
We started with just Xbox..then had to take away playing games on the phone, then the tv... Then toys...
When he gets grounded now he is allowed to read a book or clean.
Kid still acts like he has no care in the world. Lol, I'll give him this.. he never let's anyone get him down. Lol
0
Posted on 12/14/18 at 5:51 am to Masterag
quote:
the key is to stay calm and bring the level of discourse to a place without anxiety or negative energy. explain why you think it's better for him to only play video games on the weekends, why being lazy is not good, and why being dishonest will make people not like him or trust him. give him examples. you're his teacher of life! every moment is a learning lesson for you and him
Man, I preach that shite so much I think I'm saying it too much to the fact he doesn't listen anymore. Lol
Posted on 12/14/18 at 5:58 am to NATidefan
Don’t take away the Xbox or TV those are his carrot..... if he does chores correctly he earns points which he can then spend to play Xbox or watch TV. If he doesn’t do all these chores he doesn’t get enough points and he can’t watch TV play Xbox and is essentially punishing himself. If you ground him from the Xbox or TV long term then he has no desire to do better because there’s no carrot for him to achieve.
Also praise good behavior often....even little things and award bonus points...make a big deal about it
Also praise good behavior often....even little things and award bonus points...make a big deal about it
This post was edited on 12/14/18 at 6:00 am
Posted on 12/14/18 at 5:58 am to Masterag
You forgot d.) lazy and selfish. 
if the kid wants to play games and tv instead of chores then he’s probably just being lazy and irresponsible. If he doesn’t figure it out it will not get better, because every generation is more selfish than the one before it.
if the kid wants to play games and tv instead of chores then he’s probably just being lazy and irresponsible. If he doesn’t figure it out it will not get better, because every generation is more selfish than the one before it. 
Posted on 12/14/18 at 5:59 am to NATidefan
quote:
Man, I preach that shite so much I think I'm saying it too much to the fact he doesn't listen anymore. Lol
yeah, the trick is to find a way that he'll communicate with you and listen to you. you've got to disarm him somehow. get him to forget about the video games. take him camping for a weekend with no electronics and just listen to each other. do y'all fish or hunt together?
my grandfather was a genius at child psychology, we'd work all day at the farm and you'd end up spilling your guts to him and feeling so great that the work seemed like play and you felt so great physically and emotionally.
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:05 am to georgia
quote:
If he doesn’t figure it out it will not get better, because every generation is more selfish than the one before it.
yea, because we have lots of people who aren't teaching and guiding their kids, just handing out punishment when they're bad and presents and candy when they're good.
kids, or anybody for that matter, don't know what they don't know. you as an adult know that lying and laziness can become pathological and lead you to drugs, prison and other bad shite down the line. but a kid doesn't know that, he just knows that is makes you mad for some reason. so as adults, it's our job to convey that in some way, without fear, that that's a dangerous road to go down.
it takes a lot of self reflection and thought to be a good teacher and a good leader, it's not easy and why i said it's a learning process for everyone involved.
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:10 am to Masterag
Meanwhile, his alarm just went off... He got up... Hit the snooze (or probably turned it off) and has gone back to sleep.. bus gets here in 50 minutes....
Kid is a lazy arse, lol
Kid is a lazy arse, lol
This post was edited on 12/14/18 at 6:12 am
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:13 am to NATidefan
These threads are always so enjoyable.
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:14 am to Chinese Bandit
quote:
Also praise good behavior often....even little things and award bonus points...make a big deal about it
Eh, I'm so so on this one.
I praise him when I am proud of him. But I don't over do it for no reason.. kids like that grow up thinking they should be told how great they are all the fricking time.
This post was edited on 12/14/18 at 6:16 am
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:17 am to NATidefan
Look at him eye to eye. Let him know with a voice of directness and let him know that this conversation is never to happen again. I have 2 sons 27 and 31.
I have never had to put my hands on either.
I have never had to put my hands on either.
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:19 am to NATidefan
I just yelled for mine to get up for the last hour because he has to shave before school.
We start this dance every morning at 5:30 and I struggle to get him out of the door for 7:25. It drives me crazy because it puts me in a bad mood to start everyday and I just want to get up and handle shite and be happy. He’s 17, I’ll be glad when this is someone else’s responsibility, I’m tired of being the only responsible one. Good luck!
We start this dance every morning at 5:30 and I struggle to get him out of the door for 7:25. It drives me crazy because it puts me in a bad mood to start everyday and I just want to get up and handle shite and be happy. He’s 17, I’ll be glad when this is someone else’s responsibility, I’m tired of being the only responsible one. Good luck!
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:19 am to NATidefan
quote:I make them spend an entire day with their mom. If that has to be my punishment, then it's good enough for them as well
How do you punish your kids?
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:21 am to AU1960
quote:
Look at him eye to eye. Let him know with a voice of directness and let him know that this conversation is never to happen again. I have 2 sons 27 and 31.
I have never had to put my hands on either.
Well, they ain't all the same bucko. Our daughter is that way. I was that way... This kid ain't. Lol
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:23 am to georgia
quote:
I just yelled for mine to get up for the last hour because he has to shave before school.
We start this dance every morning at 5:30 and I struggle to get him out of the door for 7:25. It drives me crazy because it puts me in a bad mood to start everyday and I just want to get up and handle shite and be happy. He’s 17, I’ll be glad when this is someone else’s responsibility, I’m tired of being the only responsible one. Good luck!
Should have started when he was 7 or 8
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:26 am to NATidefan
quote:I would ask my kids if they wanted to get out of bed the easy way or the hard way. Their choice.
gone back to sleep.
The easy way was get up, make the bed and get going.
The hard way was dousing them with the cup of ice water in my hand.
If they chose the hard way, I would also throw the sheets in the washing machine so they had to make the bed from scratch when they got home from school.
Their choice, I didn't really care.
Oh yeah, lying got their bedroom door taken off the hinges and stored until I felt things were going right.
This post was edited on 12/14/18 at 6:33 am
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:30 am to NATidefan
He was a pretty good kid until he turned 15 and met a girl who seems determined to turn my life upside down in her quest to have him available to her at any hour of the night. The power of females is strong and this one is the devil. People keep saying it’s just a phase, but by the time he gets past it I’ll probably be done. It’s been a rough couple of years.
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:32 am to NATidefan
He is a capitalist he is leveraging for financial reimbursement for his work. Obviously grounding doesn’t bother him much.
Try giving him a small allowance if he does everything right
Try giving him a small allowance if he does everything right
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:32 am to NATidefan
quote:
He is a procrastinator, lazy to a normal degree, and easily distracted.
Adderall
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:33 am to NATidefan
No Xbox or tv on school nights. Problem solved.
If l were you, I'd give him back the tv privilege when he proves he can do chores. Keep the Xbox for the weekend.
If l were you, I'd give him back the tv privilege when he proves he can do chores. Keep the Xbox for the weekend.
Posted on 12/14/18 at 6:35 am to NATidefan
quote:
For when I grew up. He is behind.
When did you grow up? 1700s on a farm?
I've never seen an 8 year old boy perform a laundry list of tasks to perfection every day without fail.
quote:
His biggest problem is that when he has TV and Xbox he comes home and does that instead of getting chores done first.
Tell him to do his chores first and then he can play instead of waiting for him to not do a chore and then punishing him for it.
quote:
Part of the issue is I work nights and am not home during the week... And momma is a softy
You should have vetted your partner better and then made a better choice.
This post was edited on 12/14/18 at 6:38 am
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