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re: How did you handle paternity leave?
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:23 am to HouseMom
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:23 am to HouseMom
quote:
But these same people have zero issues putting their newborn babies in daycare centers with strangers all day. That is definitely choosing "muh career" over family.
like people have a choice these days
0
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:23 am to JohnnyKilroy
quote:
Work never comes first for a real man with a family. Family comes first. Always.
Ok, Dominic Toretto.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:24 am to Ssubba
No paid leave for me at work, but had PTO so took about a week off, plus maybe a day.
Mother in law and my mom were around for the first few weeks, so that was huge.
Mother in law and my mom were around for the first few weeks, so that was huge.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:24 am to Epic Cajun
quote:
It's not that there is "enough stuff to do", it's about bonding with your new child
Seriously, a fricking woman saying that is hilarious.
She must be one of those mom's that needs to be the kids' favorite parent at the expense of their relationship with dad. "Just go make the money sweetie"
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:24 am to Ssubba
quote:first is the paternity test, then the leave
How did you handle paternity leave?
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:24 am to Ssubba
For my first kid, my job gave me 3 months off and I had the option to take another 3 months off or $10k. At the time, we needed the money because my wife only had paid leave for a month but in hindsight I really wish I would have taken the full 6 months. That’s time you don’t get back
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:25 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:
Had a young associate take the full three months off for family bonding, like his work didn't exist or something (which I had to reassign). I always thought less of him because he put his shite off on us, I mean, he didn't have a baby, his wife did.
Fully agree with this sentiment. Maternity leave for dads is part of why we are so weak as a society.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:25 am to SuperSaint
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:28 am to Epic Cajun
quote:
If you put work before your family you suck as a dad.
I don't think that is the issue. Being a dad means, in large part, providing for and protecting your wife and family. That means working and advancing in your career. It also means sacrificing.
My wife went back to work when she was able. We found neighborhood ladies who would watch our child, but as soon as we could, she quit work and became a stay at home mom. We weren't able to take big vacations or drive fancy cars or do a lot of the things our friends were doing, but so what, being a dad and taking care of my family was more important.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:28 am to Ssubba
I took one day off for each kid being born. (2015, 2017, 2019)
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:29 am to Tifway419
quote:
Or there’s the real reason of the father going to work to provide the best life possible for their family. Ever thought about that one?
I was referencing the mothers. Should have been more clear.
Some of y'all act like bonding stops happening at the 3 month mark. Okay, now "family time" doesn't matter any more. Let's just go give this baby to some randos in a facility.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:31 am to HouseMom
quote:
Some of y'all act like bonding stops happening at the 3 month mark
No one is acting like that.
quote:
Okay, now "family time" doesn't matter any more. Let's just go give this baby to some randos in a facility.
Nothing like some good old fashioned mom shaming.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:31 am to HouseMom
quote:
Some of y'all act like bonding stops happening at the 3 month mark. Okay, now "family time" doesn't matter any more. Let's just go give this baby to some randos in a facility.
houses are 400k for dumps. Not many people are earning enough to have a stay at home mom full time.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:37 am to Ssubba
If you have grandmother support use it for the first couple of weeks. Then work about half time for the next week or two until your wife can handle things. Four weeks in she should require no day time help unless there are complications.
After that you should still recognize that every day she probably has had a tougher day than you. When you get home split the child care duties with her. And the very first thing you should do when you get home is take the kid and tell her to take an hour or two to herself.
A lot of posters are going to disagree with this advice, but this poster did that for all four kids, and I’m probably the only one responding who got laid this morning - three decades later!
After that you should still recognize that every day she probably has had a tougher day than you. When you get home split the child care duties with her. And the very first thing you should do when you get home is take the kid and tell her to take an hour or two to herself.
A lot of posters are going to disagree with this advice, but this poster did that for all four kids, and I’m probably the only one responding who got laid this morning - three decades later!
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:39 am to Penrod
quote:
After that you should still recognize that every day she probably has had a tougher day than you
You had me until here. Newborns are so easy relative to the other stages
You don't know that til you've experienced it of course, but stillPosted on 1/6/25 at 9:40 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:
So, as a manager, my rec would be to discreetly come and go as you need, but generally work needs to come first and you need to handle your entire workload.
Man, you got downvoted to smithereens, but I agree 100%. I have no respect for a man who takes three months of paternity leave, unless there are serious complications.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:40 am to Jake88
quote:
You don't need 3 months of paternity leave. That's absurd.
I feel like there is a disconnect throughout this thread between good employees using benefits that were promised as a part of a compensation package and shitty employees taking advantage of a leave system.
Good employees will make sure their business is handled before going on any extended paternity leave and generally will be available during paternity leave. They have 9 months to prepare for that leave.
If said employee accepted position knowing 3 months paternity leave was a part of the deal, why should they not be able to take the leave. Maybe they took a lesser salary because of that promised benefit. The "need" to take it is a moot point.
As another poster said, would you take less of your promised salary because you don't "need" it?
This post was edited on 1/6/25 at 9:41 am
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:41 am to Penrod
quote:
Man, you got downvoted to smithereens, but I agree 100%.
You agree 100% that work comes first before your family? Nah
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:42 am to Ssubba
My son was born on a Tuesday in 1964. I returned to work on the following Monday.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:43 am to JohnnyKilroy
quote:
I worked way harder on my paternity leave than I do at my job. I am a lawyer who did nearly 7 figures in revenue last year.
There it is folks
Only ambulance chasers take paternity leave
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