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Hosting a single grandparent for the Holidays a necessity?

Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:20 pm
Posted by baldona
Florida
Member since Feb 2016
20442 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:20 pm
All 4 of my kids grandparents are alive and we see them a lot to the point of specifically needing to plan alone time with just my wife and kids.

My MIL is a hot mess right, been divorced about 2 years and now is ‘dating’ a guy getting a divorce in Virginia that requires a 1 year separation before a divorce. My wife’s sister is really her only family member and she and her husband don’t get along with my MIL. So basically, she has no one to be with for the holidays but us. 2 Christmas’s in a row she has stayed at our house.

Is it really that bad to tell her she needs to find another option for Christmas? My wife is worn out and all for it, she just is too nice to actually do it.
Posted by TimeOutdoors
AK
Member since Sep 2014
12123 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:22 pm to
Owe available? You’ve come to the right place.
Posted by Cosmo
glassman's guest house
Member since Oct 2003
120257 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:22 pm to
Why cant she bang her BF for christmas?
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103046 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:22 pm to
Time to grow a pair.
Posted by Obtuse1
Westside Bodymore Yo
Member since Sep 2016
25618 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:26 pm to
My MIL can be a PITA at times and I am less bothered by it than my wife but I can't really see curbing a close relative for the holidays especially if they don't have another place to go. It is the season of giving not getting after all. That said I wouldn't judge someone that did it with a "problem" relative.
Posted by Riolobo
On the lake
Member since Mar 2017
4254 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:26 pm to
Let your wife make the call.
Posted by Kramer26
St. George, LA
Member since Jan 2005
6404 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:27 pm to
Invite all the grandparents. Enjoy the time you have with them.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
64524 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:28 pm to
We will of course require pics of wife, MIL, and SIL so we can advise from an informed standpoint. Otherwise we’re flying blind here.
Posted by ChenierauTigre
Dreamland
Member since Dec 2007
34516 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:29 pm to
Tell you and your family are going camping for Thanksgiving weekend.
Posted by TU Rob
Birmingham
Member since Nov 2008
12737 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:32 pm to
How old are your kids? I'm assuming at least some are older since you have 4. When I grew up, Christmas morning was for the family. My wife comes from a divorced home, and hated the travelling on Holidays to see her Dad. They lived about 2 hours away, and every year it was the same thing. Either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day they had to get in the car and go drop her off, then come back a day or two later.

When my daughter was either 2 or 3 at Christmas, we put our foot down on travelling to see family or anyone staying with us. We decided that every Christmas from then on we would be at home. No travelling to see grandparents or other relatives, and no one coming to see us. My mom complained that we should come and stay at my grandparents so every one could be together, but eventually came around to our wishes. It was hard because at the time I still had a few grandparents alive, and my wife as well. It is hard to be in 3 places, all several hours from each other, in a short timeframe. We eventually worked it out to see my family a few days before, and go see hers a few days after. It made it even worse when my parents divorced because then Dad wanted us to come stay with him too.
Posted by scott8811
Ratchet City, LA
Member since Oct 2014
11326 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:34 pm to
quote:

Is it really that bad to tell her she needs to find another option for Christmas?


No...I hate the mentality that holidays are for forced extended family time. Holidays should be special time for the family under your roof...don't owe shite to anyone else.
Posted by keks tadpole
Yellow Leaf Creek
Member since Feb 2017
7577 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:38 pm to
Depends on how much coin the FIL had to part with to get away from MIL and if MIL is going to pre-nup her new guy, who may be somewhat of a sleaze if he is already "dating" outside of a separation period mandated by law. Number of adult children he brings into the mix and their respective benefit to, or drag on, society as well as MIL's wallet must be factored in as well.

quote:

I hate the mentality that holidays are for forced extended family time

No one ever knows who's last Christmas it could be.
This post was edited on 10/6/21 at 4:42 pm
Posted by CoachChappy
Member since May 2013
32535 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:39 pm to
quote:

My wife is worn out and all for it, she just is too nice to actually do it.

She has to make the call. As in, she has to call her mother and tell her not to come.
Posted by Gee Grenouille
Bogalusa
Member since Jul 2018
4760 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:14 pm to
As Clark Griswald's dad said, you just need a little help from Jack Daniels.
Posted by prostyleoffensetime
Mississippi
Member since Aug 2009
11434 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:20 pm to
quote:

Let your wife make the call.


Yeah it’s the wife’s call. OP’s best course of action is just stay out of the way for the couple days she’s there and live a normal life the other 363 days of the year.
Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
28326 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:26 pm to
Is she toxic or just annoying?
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
20098 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:31 pm to
Post pic of MIL. I am sure some baw on here would take care of her for you. If he post here, you know he is in good shape and is a baller.
This post was edited on 10/6/21 at 5:32 pm
Posted by Mr Clean
Pit Bull Paradise
Member since Aug 2006
49161 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:37 pm to
quote:

My MIL is a hot mess right, been divorced about 2 years and now is ‘dating’ a guy getting a divorce in Virginia that requires a 1 year separation before a divorce. My wife’s sister is really her only family member and she and her husband don’t get along with my MIL


That confused the TF outta me
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128971 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:38 pm to
quote:

No one ever knows who's last Christmas it could be.


This. I would love more than anything to have the option to see my dad this year for Christmas.

Last Christmas wasn’t that great with him…his mental illness was making him act out and I didn’t want to be there longer than I had to be, wish I would have known it was my last Christmas with him then…..
Posted by AUFANATL
Member since Dec 2007
3878 posts
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:41 pm to

My parents had a rule that every other Christmas was immediate family only. Relatives were welcome to crash the party every other year or we would travel to them.

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