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Hosting a single grandparent for the Holidays a necessity?
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:20 pm
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:20 pm
All 4 of my kids grandparents are alive and we see them a lot to the point of specifically needing to plan alone time with just my wife and kids.
My MIL is a hot mess right, been divorced about 2 years and now is ‘dating’ a guy getting a divorce in Virginia that requires a 1 year separation before a divorce. My wife’s sister is really her only family member and she and her husband don’t get along with my MIL. So basically, she has no one to be with for the holidays but us. 2 Christmas’s in a row she has stayed at our house.
Is it really that bad to tell her she needs to find another option for Christmas? My wife is worn out and all for it, she just is too nice to actually do it.
My MIL is a hot mess right, been divorced about 2 years and now is ‘dating’ a guy getting a divorce in Virginia that requires a 1 year separation before a divorce. My wife’s sister is really her only family member and she and her husband don’t get along with my MIL. So basically, she has no one to be with for the holidays but us. 2 Christmas’s in a row she has stayed at our house.
Is it really that bad to tell her she needs to find another option for Christmas? My wife is worn out and all for it, she just is too nice to actually do it.
37
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:22 pm to baldona
Owe available? You’ve come to the right place.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:22 pm to baldona
Why cant she bang her BF for christmas?
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:22 pm to baldona
Time to grow a pair.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:26 pm to baldona
My MIL can be a PITA at times and I am less bothered by it than my wife but I can't really see curbing a close relative for the holidays especially if they don't have another place to go. It is the season of giving not getting after all. That said I wouldn't judge someone that did it with a "problem" relative.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:26 pm to baldona
Let your wife make the call.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:27 pm to baldona
Invite all the grandparents. Enjoy the time you have with them.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:28 pm to baldona
We will of course require pics of wife, MIL, and SIL so we can advise from an informed standpoint. Otherwise we’re flying blind here.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:29 pm to baldona
Tell you and your family are going camping for Thanksgiving weekend.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:32 pm to baldona
How old are your kids? I'm assuming at least some are older since you have 4. When I grew up, Christmas morning was for the family. My wife comes from a divorced home, and hated the travelling on Holidays to see her Dad. They lived about 2 hours away, and every year it was the same thing. Either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day they had to get in the car and go drop her off, then come back a day or two later.
When my daughter was either 2 or 3 at Christmas, we put our foot down on travelling to see family or anyone staying with us. We decided that every Christmas from then on we would be at home. No travelling to see grandparents or other relatives, and no one coming to see us. My mom complained that we should come and stay at my grandparents so every one could be together, but eventually came around to our wishes. It was hard because at the time I still had a few grandparents alive, and my wife as well. It is hard to be in 3 places, all several hours from each other, in a short timeframe. We eventually worked it out to see my family a few days before, and go see hers a few days after. It made it even worse when my parents divorced because then Dad wanted us to come stay with him too.
When my daughter was either 2 or 3 at Christmas, we put our foot down on travelling to see family or anyone staying with us. We decided that every Christmas from then on we would be at home. No travelling to see grandparents or other relatives, and no one coming to see us. My mom complained that we should come and stay at my grandparents so every one could be together, but eventually came around to our wishes. It was hard because at the time I still had a few grandparents alive, and my wife as well. It is hard to be in 3 places, all several hours from each other, in a short timeframe. We eventually worked it out to see my family a few days before, and go see hers a few days after. It made it even worse when my parents divorced because then Dad wanted us to come stay with him too.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:34 pm to baldona
quote:
Is it really that bad to tell her she needs to find another option for Christmas?
No...I hate the mentality that holidays are for forced extended family time. Holidays should be special time for the family under your roof...don't owe shite to anyone else.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:38 pm to baldona
Depends on how much coin the FIL had to part with to get away from MIL and if MIL is going to pre-nup her new guy, who may be somewhat of a sleaze if he is already "dating" outside of a separation period mandated by law. Number of adult children he brings into the mix and their respective benefit to, or drag on, society as well as MIL's wallet must be factored in as well.
No one ever knows who's last Christmas it could be.
quote:
I hate the mentality that holidays are for forced extended family time
No one ever knows who's last Christmas it could be.
This post was edited on 10/6/21 at 4:42 pm
Posted on 10/6/21 at 4:39 pm to baldona
quote:
My wife is worn out and all for it, she just is too nice to actually do it.
She has to make the call. As in, she has to call her mother and tell her not to come.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:14 pm to baldona
As Clark Griswald's dad said, you just need a little help from Jack Daniels.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:20 pm to Riolobo
quote:
Let your wife make the call.
Yeah it’s the wife’s call. OP’s best course of action is just stay out of the way for the couple days she’s there and live a normal life the other 363 days of the year.
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:26 pm to baldona
Is she toxic or just annoying?
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:31 pm to baldona
Post pic of MIL. I am sure some baw on here would take care of her for you. If he post here, you know he is in good shape and is a baller.
This post was edited on 10/6/21 at 5:32 pm
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:37 pm to baldona
quote:
My MIL is a hot mess right, been divorced about 2 years and now is ‘dating’ a guy getting a divorce in Virginia that requires a 1 year separation before a divorce. My wife’s sister is really her only family member and she and her husband don’t get along with my MIL
That confused the TF outta me
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:38 pm to keks tadpole
quote:
No one ever knows who's last Christmas it could be.
This. I would love more than anything to have the option to see my dad this year for Christmas.
Last Christmas wasn’t that great with him…his mental illness was making him act out and I didn’t want to be there longer than I had to be, wish I would have known it was my last Christmas with him then…..
Posted on 10/6/21 at 5:41 pm to baldona
My parents had a rule that every other Christmas was immediate family only. Relatives were welcome to crash the party every other year or we would travel to them.
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