re: Have You Ever Thought About Planning Your Death?

Terminal illness or dementia, suicide by cop.

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learned my dad lost $700,000 over 20 years through bad investments, mostly in the stock market.

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He was gambling, not investing. Sorry.

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I've considered it. I'm 51 and will be retiring at 54. My two oldest kids are off on their own and my youngest is a sophomore in high school. I'm also a widower, having lost my wife to cancer back in March. When I look around the house I realize that it's all just a bunch of "stuff" that I really don't need. My plan is to sell my primary house in DFW and either move to my 1BR lake condo, or sell them both and just live full-time in a RV until I either die or my health gets so bad that I can no longer do it. Also, if I get something terminal (cancer, Alzheimer's, etc.), I'll probably just go to a state where medically assisted death is legal and end it. I'm not going to be a burden to my kids or wither away in some nursing home. frick all that. When I pass I don't want my kids having to deal with much regarding my estate. I want everything to be pretty much liquidated already minus my truck and RV if I die suddenly. If I go the medical route, I'll liquidate first, then all they have to do is split the cash assets.

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So sorry to hear about your wife. I've thought a lot about what life would look like without my wife. Ive got three kids like you but my oldest is 8. I just always assumed she would outlive me but the older I get the more I realize thats just young thinking.

One thing I want you to consider is that nothing more than your presence on this planet is a huge deal to your kids. Yall could be dog cussing each other in every interaction and it would still be true. You created those people and they know it, and it means a lot.

Another is that living just to help them and your grandkids is such a meaningful and beautiful life. Maybe start really small and just go from there. Maybe that means showing up to an extra event you havent been to. Or picking up the phone at a random moment just to tell your kids you're thinking about them.

You wouldnt believe what a massive impact you can still have on your kids lives. And if you have or will have any grandkids, you're a legendary figure to them without you even lifting a finger. You created their mom or dad!

IDK about all that but I have thought about when I'm very old with two or three marbles rolling around in my head, just book a one-way trip to Fiji or somewhere

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Well that's my dad for you. And it's something that is destroying my entire family currently.

I'm not saying I was planning on the inheritance to live day to day. I support myself. But I was planning on some of that money (even say $100,000-$150,000) to take a few years off work, buy and renovate a cargo van and kind of live on the road, just traveling. Without that money though, I simply don't see where it's possible.

Never mind that cost of living is doing nothing but going up, and more and more of us are starting to struggle with saving any money. My car has had issues this year, and for the first time in my life there have been 2 months where I was truly living paycheck to paycheck. I hated that feeling.

I hate to say it, but when I was told he lost $700,000 (we think it may even be more), it partially crushed my soul. That, and other thing, has made it really hard for me to see any type of bright future unless I go out on my own terms.

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There is something seriously wrong with you. I can't believe I fell for your bullshite. I wish I could delete my posts on this thread.
Suck on bullet loser.

I was wondering if you'd change up your story after your last "I have Crohns and asthma and want to die" thread got whacked before the 2nd page. Well, here's my answer.

I'll give you this: you're the weirdest fricking troll to ever post here.

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i was wondering if this was the same dipshit...i guess he's avoiding mentioning GERD now

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Oh, it's him. He never even changes the username up that much. At this point I'm starting to think the emotional vampirism is sexual for him because his need to constantly create new alters just for this specific bizarre shite is clearly a compulsion.

Way to go Einstein. You just exposed his "tell" now he's realized it and will be able to hide.

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I hate to say it, but when I was told he lost $700,000 (we think it may even be more), it partially crushed my soul.

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A lot to unpack with everything you have posted. I’ll start with this and it’s as much for any younger person reading as it is for you. Never live your life expecting to get anything from anyone. If you do then great but if you don’t, then even if it’s disappointing you are still fine without it. My mom passsed away last year. We haven’t had much a relationship really ever and especially after she left my father about 20 years ago. She had $150k and left it all to my brother. He had maintained a relationship with her.Some of that money would have been great but I completely understand why she left it all to him and I am at peace with it. My Dad is 74 and has about $600k. He remarried 15 years ago. The woman he married has a daughter my age that is a trainwreck. My dad has stated his wishes is for after he goes that everything go to his wife for her to live on until she passes and then for me, my brother, and her daughter split everything equally 3 ways. Again, great if it happens but I’m quite sure after he dies, his wife will make sure it all goes to her daughter upon her death. I honesty do not expect to see a dime. Will suck by I have lived and saved to not have to be dependent upon that money. My wife’s mother is 84, in very poor health, has about $250k. She lived with us for past 5 years and recently we had to put her in a home because she had gotten beyond our ability to care for her. She never listened to us about doing things to shelter her money and now the nursing home will suck it all up in about 2 years. Again, sucks, money would be nice, but I will be just fine financially. Live your life like you won’t ever get a dime from anyone.

My next suggestion would be to go to church. Try a few different ones until one feels right. I’m not some holy roller Bible thumper. I don’t go myself near as often as I should. But I am a believer. And I know without question that my faith and my walk with Christ, as imperfect as it has been, has always given me the strength to deal with life’s hardships, a peace of mind and calmness in my everyday life, and a profound respect for life.

Life is a gift, and not yours to give up. Despite politics, family issues or whatever else, life is worth living. Go to church. Find a men’s group. Make some new friends.
Heck, maybe even find a lady interested in what your are interested in and sharing time with you. Even if it’s not sexual, someone to care for and to care for you can be extremely healing for your soul. Maybe you can’t buy that RV and tour the country for months or years. But doesn’t mean you can’t take small trips. Once or twice a year trips up to a state park in Arkansas or something. Nature can also be very healing for your soul.

Whatever happens, I hope you find some peace because I feel like even if you aren’t suicidal as you have stated you aren’t, you are still very sad, lonely, and seeking meaning and purpose. I truly hope you find it.

You seem a bit spoiled & feeling sorry for yourself. We've all been there. Most people do not get an inheritance. Join the club.

It also seems your parents are all you have & once they pass, you think you'll have nothing to live for.

I think you should attend church, meet some good people, fellowship, maybe meet a good woman & hear the Word. See where that goes.