re: Have you ever had suicidal thoughts? Or ever came close to ending it?

I came close a time or two. It really does get better, and telling someone trusted and talking about it was a major help.

Yes and yes.

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Considering mental health events often involve chemical imbalance, I find this to be incredibly bad advice.

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All I’m saying is someone who doesn’t know someone nor is a professional should tell someone to seek medication. It’s a great possibility they may be needed, but certain medications can lead to disastrous results. The appropriate advice is to go seek a professional.

Many times but I couldn’t do it to my family and I was scared I wouldn’t succeed and permanently disable myself.

That’s why I say seek professional help.


Let a professional help determine what would be most beneficial. Therapy? Combo of meds and therapy?

I have no conscience memory of the last time I went to bed giving a $hit whether I woke up the next day or not.

I'm doing everything I can just trying to run out the clock, and it's getting tiresome and tedious.

Only being positive and if you were watching you may understand

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Arthur Bach

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This goes for you, the OP or anybody else. I want to remain anonymous because I have a lot of friends and family on here who post. But I will post my personal cell phone here if anyone needs to talk if it will save some strangers life.

Depression hurts. It is like trying to run a marathon everyday with a broken leg and no medication for the pain. But until someone experiences it, they won’t understand.

Arthur, you don’t have to live like this and you don’t have to die feeling like this. You can fix this I promise. Millions of people have felt like you and fought it for decades without telling anyone.

Feeling judged is one of my issues. Mine stems from severe social anxiety. My childhood was tough because I thought everybody felt that way. Just talk to a professional.

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but I personally know of the downside of bad medication.

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Long term its probably damaging as hell, but it helps to kick start recovery.

I have had a doctor take me off my anti-anxiety meds cold turkey during this period.

I have no trust in doctors right now. I’m on an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, and something for sleep.

And it was a spiritual retreat(hmm) that made everything go downhill. And funny someone said it.....I do have a broken ankle(hmm). I’m a sitting duck experiencing the full wrath of evil incarnate in this life. I’m just done. Im tired of seeing people hurt across the world. The situation of the world is of no help to those with mental health problems. At least from my viewpoint. It hurts more when I see more unrest in the world. I realize the world will always have its problems, but it’d be nice to see unity and not division, some empathy and not judgment. But I don’t put faith in any human beings anymore. I don’t trust and will not trust anyone anymore. I already have someone that’s been in my life for three decades purposely making it harder. People will betray you and gaslight you, lie to you, build you up to bring you down. I’ve just had enough with it all. I’m not suicidal. I’ve just taken too many L’s and realize I can only fight for my own psyche and mind. And to the: wake up early, workout, eat right crowd-I don’t know if you realize how low the psyche and mind can go. Maybe it’s worked for you or someone you know. But that’s not taking into account each person and their own experiences that shaped them.

ETA: I’m not opening this thread again. I’m not suicidal. I’m done talking about this. Someone said they wanted to keep their anonymity-there are some posters on this message board who know exactly what I’m going through. Peace