GMT

Today in History: May 28
0585 A solar eclipse interrupts a battle outside Sardis in western Turkey between Medes and Lydians. The battle ends in a draw.

1830 Congress authorizes Indian removal from all states to the western Prairie.

1863 The 54th Massachusetts, a regiment of African-American recruits, leaves Boston, headed for Hilton Head, South Carolina.

Born on May 28

1738 Dr. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, French inventor of the execution device which bears his name.

1818 P. G. T. Beauregard, Confederate general during the American Civil War.

1888 Jim Thorpe, American athlete.

Joke of the Day
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work