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Today in History: May 24
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus publishes proof of a sun-centered solar system. He dies just after publication.

1689 The English Parliament passes the Act of Toleration, protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics are specifically excluded from exemption.

1764 Boston lawyer James Otis denounces "taxation without representation," calling for the colonies to unite in opposition to Britain's new tax measures.

1844 Samuel Morse taps out the first telegraph message.

1861 General Benjamin Butler declares slaves to be the contraband of war.

1863 Bushwackers led by Captain William Marchbanks attack a Federal militia party in Nevada, Missouri.

1941 The British battleship Hood is sunk by the German battleship Bismarck. There are only three survivors.

1961 Civil rights activists are arrested in Jackson, Mississippi.

Born on May 24
1743 Jean-Paul Marat, French revolutionary.

1941 Bob Dylan (Robert Zimmerman), singer and songwriter.

JOTD
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"