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re: Friends Who Drift Apart

Posted on 11/16/14 at 11:08 pm to
Posted by SaintlyTiger88
Louisiana
Member since Apr 2013
2207 posts
Posted on 11/16/14 at 11:08 pm to
I think you are mistaking the point of my words lsunurse, which I think can easily happen because it's just text, and the meaning behind plain text can be misconstrued. If I'm coming off as whiny, that's not my intention. You mentioned that you have friends who live away and even though you don't see them or talk to them very often, they're still solid friends nonetheless. That's well and good, but you're missing my point. I'm talking about a best friend who went her seperate way in life, and our friendship lost its closeness over the years.

And to answer your question, it was the opposite, my friend developed romantic feelings for me that I did not reciprocate. She eventually found a guy who today is her husband, and I found a woman who today is my fiancee'. Could that have been a turning point in our friendship? Absolutely, but like others have said, there are so many circumstances in life that can make friends drift apart, it's just one of many possibilities.

ETA: I'm 26 years old
This post was edited on 11/16/14 at 11:10 pm
Posted by sparkinator
Lake Claiborne
Member since Dec 2007
5035 posts
Posted on 11/16/14 at 11:17 pm to
My best friend in high school, that I hadn't spent much time with in 20+ years, we met and spent a week+ on a motorcycle trip through southern California. It was a really good trip, and we had a lot of fun.

It just so happened that I had gone on a big MC trip by myself the year before, and the one with my buddy from HS, just didn't even compare. We'd grown apart, and it seems I had remembered the good times, and his good qualities. After I had spent a few days with him, I started to remember, that we didn't quite see eye to eye on nearly as much as I wanted to think that we did.

Most times, memories are better than reality.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 11/16/14 at 11:28 pm to
Gotcha


I guess I just don't see the big deal really. Especially since I'm married now and the most important relationship with another person...is the one with my husband. I'll always want to have close friends in my life, but he'll be my best friend until I die. Again...priorities shift as you get older, nothing wrong with that.
Posted by SaintlyTiger88
Louisiana
Member since Apr 2013
2207 posts
Posted on 11/16/14 at 11:40 pm to
Without a doubt, a person's significant other should be their closest friend and confidant. My fiancee' is and has been my best friend for seven years now. She and I know each other in and out, and despite the times when we argue and don't get along, she's everything to me. Like I said, I feel like when my former best friend got into a serious relationship and I got into one too around the same time, the whole dynamic changed. That's not to say there can't be a reconnection though. It's my hope that my fiancee' and I can become good friends with her and her husband, so we'll see how that goes.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
74654 posts
Posted on 11/16/14 at 11:46 pm to
This happened to me. I felt like I was on an island, pretty much all by myself with the exception of one friend. We'll call him "Voit". Days, weeks, months went by, we shared much (no homo, tho). I would bounce things off of him, it was like he was created to do so. Eventually we did just this, he drifted away from me, but I seemed to have survived. I hope Wils... er, VOIT did.

Posted by GatorReb
Dallas GA
Member since Feb 2009
9425 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 12:13 am to
Its just life sadly.

I lived in Michigan for 10 years. Now live outside of Atl. Just found out my best friend from my time in Michigan now lives 45 minutes from me outside of Atl. Since we have both been here at the same time (2 years) We have gotten together and hangout once...
Posted by lsufanintexas
Member since Sep 2006
5116 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 12:24 am to
What's worse is when you realize that you will have no one show up at your funeral besides your remaining family.

That's fricking depressing.

Posted by MondayMorningMarch
Pumping Sunshine. She's cute!
Member since Dec 2006
19334 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 12:27 am to
Career paths/marriage/kids can really take a toll. My best bro thoughout my 20's and beyond hung out a lot and played in a couple of bands together. I moved to Seattle. He went to San Antonio. 20 years have passed and now I know I will never see him again since he recently passed away due to a brain anuerism. It sucks.
Posted by LooseCannon22282
South Alabama Fan
Member since May 2008
35935 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 12:42 am to
yup.. been there and done that.

I've met a ton of people over the last few years and hardly any of them are like my old buddies.

but it makes things interesting.

I'm thankful no matter what.

getting older has been weird but I didn't picture it any other way after I was about 23.

by then, I had endured a lot of unlikely life changing events.



Posted by Captain Rumbeard
Member since Jan 2014
7089 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 12:44 am to
Always cultivate new friends. That's like gold mining. Most of the times you won't find what you're looking for but if you aren't looking you definitely won't.

And the best old friends, and I'm approaching fifty here, when you get back together it's like they never left. You still have the level of deep friendship with them you always did, even if you haven't really talked in years.

If you don't have that when you get back with them, it's because you were confused about it in the first place. People who make that kind of deep connection don't lose it.
Posted by Captain Rumbeard
Member since Jan 2014
7089 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 12:46 am to
quote:

I have a job that takes most of my time. A family that takes the rest. I have no time for anyone else.


You are a fool and a dead man before your time.
Posted by TexasTiger05
Member since Aug 2007
28332 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 1:42 am to
It happens. I've had a best friend since I was 5, and I don't think we've seen each other in 3 years. I'll email from time to time, but nothing outside of that.

Same for college friends. You go from being around each other all day, and then you go your separate ways.
Posted by Walt OReilly
Poplarville, MS
Member since Oct 2005
124694 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 1:46 am to
Living in Egypt probably doesn't help
Posted by TexasTiger05
Member since Aug 2007
28332 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 1:48 am to
Definitely doesn't help at all

*I live in Dubai now
This post was edited on 11/17/14 at 1:49 am
Posted by mauser
Orange Beach
Member since Nov 2008
26843 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 5:46 am to
Me too
Posted by fishfighter
RIP
Member since Apr 2008
40026 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 6:06 am to
Lost a life time good friend this pass spring to cancer. over the years, we drifted apart due to me moving away from New Orleans.
Posted by lsutothetop
TigerDroppings Elite
Member since Jul 2008
11323 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 6:09 am to
FHRITP
Posted by Placebeaux
Bobby Fischer Fan Club President
Member since Jun 2008
51852 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 6:34 am to
In my life I've noticed it's a 5 year cycle.
Posted by BearCrocs
Member since Aug 2013
8484 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 7:00 am to
You gay ?
Posted by Spaceman Spiff
Savannah
Member since Sep 2012
20253 posts
Posted on 11/17/14 at 7:10 am to
It happens. I haven't seen my best friend (friends from kindergarten through the end of high school) in over 15 years. Life happens. College, Navy, family. I have even moved back to the same area and he lives within five miles, but still haven't seen him. Just happens.
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