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re: Found out I'm "related" to this girl I started seeing...***Update Page 12
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:36 am to Commandeaux
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:36 am to Commandeaux
My opinion is that it’s right on the line. I would argue it’s not too close, but if ya’ll had grown up together or your families were really close and hung out together a lot, it would definitely be too close. My mom tried to set me up with a girl who was the same distance as your situation, and I said no because we grew up together and went to a lot of the same family events.
1
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:36 am to castorinho
quote:
no one else found this a bit odd?
People use to have big, spread out families, baw. And, generational shifts are far more common than you think.
For example, Mrs. Midnight and I are only 15 months apart in age. Our collective 4 parents were born between the late 1930s and mid 1940s.
However, the grandparent ages might surprise you:
All 4 of my grandparents were born between the late 1890s and late 19 aughts. All 4 of hers were born in the (early) 1920s. While we are not related - at least for so many generations to render it moot - the elder of my 2 grandfathers was easily old enough to father all 4 of Mrs. Midnight's grandparents.
How did this happen? Well, on my father's side, his parents married late and he didn't immediately show up, so they were having their family beginning in their 30s. On my mother's side, her mother was the second wife and her father sired 12 or 13 children during the 2 marriages and my mother came in at the very end.
So, long story short - it happens and it isn't per se strange.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:37 am to jlovel7
quote:
Unfortunately that's not how the judgement of those around us work in the world. Technically that shouldn't matter but we all know it does.
Off the top of my head I believe US President Franklin Roosevelt, New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, one of the Kennedy's, Albert Einstein all married either first or second cousins.. much closer consanguinity than what we are talking about and not much is made of this being freakish. The current Queen of England also married her first cousin... it's just not that uncommon.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:41 am to Peazey
quote:
You have how that whole thing works pretty mixed up. His mother and her mother are first cousins once removed. He and her mother are second cousins. He and she are second cousins once removed.
yeah it gets confusing. LINK This site actually says they'd be 2nd Cousins twice removed.
OP's Great Grandparents are the girls Great, Great, Grandparents? Either way he's free to smash.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:45 am to Packer
quote:
Your cousin wanted to see if you were fine with cousin f'in. Now that she knows you are, she is going to make her move
An all cousin threesome. A Bama Dear Penthouse.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:47 am to TurkeysAndBees
just googled, some more who married cousins:
US Presidents John Adams & Martin Van Buren, Thomas Jefferson, Sen. John Kerry, Samuel B. Morse, Bach, Rachmoninoff, Stravinsky, H.G. Wells, Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Darwin....and Kevin Bacon.....our OP is in good company
US Presidents John Adams & Martin Van Buren, Thomas Jefferson, Sen. John Kerry, Samuel B. Morse, Bach, Rachmoninoff, Stravinsky, H.G. Wells, Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Darwin....and Kevin Bacon.....our OP is in good company
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:47 am to The Mick
quote:
What did you mean then? Sorry, I understood your post (and the one you replied to) to mean dating one's cousin shouldn't be judged by society.
The post I replied to was saying that at like the 2nd cousins once removed level any physical deformity risk is essentially the same as if they weren't "related" (although what is the cutoff for when you're no longer related) and then followed up to say that anyone who rationally looked at the situation would see that there isn't really anything wrong with it. My reply was essentially people don't look at things in that much detail (normally), they just react.
tl/dr even though physically its "ok", socially that's not how the world works.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:49 am to MLCLyons
Pretty sure second cousin twice removed would be if she had kids that would be her children's relation to him. Thinking about this stuff gets pretty confusing really fast.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:52 am to The Mick
quote:
Ace just won this thread. It's over.
I appreciate the kudos, baw, but this is - to a degree, serious. "Incest" is a charged word. But, that's how we get so many things we take for granted in this world, from thoroughbred racing horses, to Butterball turkeys, to purebred varities of dogs/cats, and so forth.
Now - society (and good, common sense)has imposed restrictions on intrafamily relations for a variety of very good reasons. First and foremost is the danger of baking in terrible genetic diseases. This is a legitimate, but somewhat overblown concern. Yes, you can get things like hemophilia that was rampant through all the final Royal families of Europe because of the Victoria effect. But, a genetically sound family isn't going to produced intellectually disabled children - that's just not how it works. There is the danger of creating a genetic cul-de-sac, as well as bringing long-dormant problems to the surface by breeding back, rather than diversifying.
But, recall the times before the railroad. Heck, even into the late 19th century - in America, Britain and parts of Europe with growing railroad networks, it was common for many, many people to never travel more than 20, 25 miles from where they were born. Communities were much smaller. SO, you were going to end up marrying a cousin - maybe second, second once removed, third (hopefully), but the choice was that or nothing, especially in rural areas.
The main concern, on the non-biological side, is vertical incest - whereas the older (typically male) partner is perceived as having a abused the family relationship, plus the overall "ick" factor - but how is this much different from the longstanding practice of arranged marriage, particularly shipping off young girls to grown men, 15, 20, 30 years older? But, this is also how some crazy cults form, plus it is a step away from goodness.
But, second cousins, once removed, that did not grow up together, should raise few eyebrows, IMHO. I mean, it's more than interesting, but less than icky, right?
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:56 am to dkreller
quote:
Twice removed
Nope it's once.
Generation 1
His mom and her grandmother 1st Cousins
Generation 2
Him and Her mom 2nd Cousins
Generation 3
Her
Gen1 to Gen2 is once removed
His mom to her mom 1st once removed
Him to her Grandmother 1st once removed
Gen2 to Gen3 is also once removed
Him to her 2nd once removed
Gen1 to Gen3 is twice remove
His Mom to her twice remved
So here's the potentially confusing (and maybe a little troubling) part, If they have a kid, the kid will be his 2nd cousin twice removed through her as well as his son but will be her 3rd Cousin through him as well as her son.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 11:59 am to mdomingue
quote:
So here's the potentially confusing (and maybe a little troubling) part, If they have a kid, the kid will be his 2nd cousin twice removed through her as well as his son but will be her 3rd Cousin through him as well as her son.
Alright. That just pushed it into the land of weirdness.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:00 pm to Commandeaux
quote:
It turns out that my mother and her grandmother are first cousins.
Are we related?
This makes you second cousins, once removed.
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:05 pm to mt1
quote:
do I want to be a cousin-fricker?
It's probably too late for that
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:08 pm to LNCHBOX
Y'all know there two schools in Alabama right? I understand you want to attribute cousin lovers to the state of Alabama...but,why don't y'all ever say "Go tigers"? Oh wait...
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:13 pm to jlovel7
quote:quote:
So here's the potentially confusing (and maybe a little troubling) part, If they have a kid, the kid will be his 2nd cousin twice removed through her as well as his son but will be her 3rd Cousin through him as well as her son.
Alright. That just pushed it into the land of weirdness.
Dude is considering a relationship with his cousin and, based on some phrasing, probably thinking about have sex with her and that is what pushed it into weirdness
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:15 pm to jlovel7
quote:Ah, gotcha. Sorry I misunderstood.
My reply was essentially people don't look at things in that much detail (normally), they just react
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:15 pm to Commandeaux
quote:
Found out I'm "related" to this girl I started seeing
Not checking to see if someone else already said it, but
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:20 pm to TigerDeacon
If the common relative is a great, great grandmother to one person and a great, great, great grandmother to the other, how related are they?
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:24 pm to TurkeysAndBees
quote:
The current Queen of England also married her first cousin
She married Prince Andrew of Greece and Denmark in 1903, after meeting him at King Edward VII's coronation in London the previous year. Together they had five children, with Prince Philip being the youngest, born in 1921. This makes Philip and Elizabeth third cousins.
LINK
Posted on 1/29/18 at 12:26 pm to Commandeaux
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