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Foster Parents...Greatest fears?
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:10 pm
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:10 pm
Any foster parents here on TD?
If so, what were your greatest fears before starting to foster?
Were said fears ever substantiated?
Wife and I are looking to adopt soon...and if we want to go thru the Alabama system...we have to foster first, fostering has always scared me...it's a blind fear, but one that I base on hearing present foster parents' horror stories.
If so, what were your greatest fears before starting to foster?
Were said fears ever substantiated?
Wife and I are looking to adopt soon...and if we want to go thru the Alabama system...we have to foster first, fostering has always scared me...it's a blind fear, but one that I base on hearing present foster parents' horror stories.
17
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:12 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
Probably being murdered in your sleep.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:12 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
Wife and I are looking to adopt soon...and if we want to go thru the Alabama system...we have to foster first, fostering has always scared me...it's a blind fear, but one that I base on hearing present foster parents' horror stories.
my parents fostered a kid after all of us(5) were gone, unfortunately there are some serious issues that accompany foster kids and you stand a good chance of having those issues become a big part of your life
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:15 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
unfortunately there are some serious issues that accompany foster kids and you stand a good chance of having those issues become a big part of your life
I heard an ad on the radio yesterday talking about foster parents being needed. IDK if I could do it. We have 3 of our own and the youngest is 15 1/2.
I think it's the not knowing what emotional issues that the child might would have. If I knew that it was a child that just needed love, affection, caring people I could do that I think. It sounds awful but IDK if I could deal with more than "normal kid stuff".
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:16 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
Going through the Alabama system?
The kids being an Alabama fan. The kid wanting to live in a trailer home; having buck teeth; hitting on his cousin; wearing jorts.
This post was edited on 7/27/16 at 12:17 pm
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:16 pm to 777Tiger
Yeah 777, that's kinda my thoughts on the matter. But I don't know if my thoughts are correct or not. I'm worried about the foster system and how "damaged" the kids are. Not to mention how good they are at "mind games". Again, my knowledge of the system is only from seeing others.
I also know false accusations against a foster parent(s) can lock them up in system preventing them from ever adopting either private or state sponsored. I have a co-worker going thru that right now. One of the questions I have is: What's my right as a prospective foster parent?
I also know false accusations against a foster parent(s) can lock them up in system preventing them from ever adopting either private or state sponsored. I have a co-worker going thru that right now. One of the questions I have is: What's my right as a prospective foster parent?
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:19 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
what were your greatest fears before starting to foster?
i'd like to add what greatest fears would be that aren't feared by biological parents
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:19 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
if we want to go thru the Alabama system...we have to foster first,
My wife is a social worker for DHR and this is not entirely true.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:20 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
For some foster parents, the greatest fear is not getting paid on time.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:20 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
I also know false accusations against a foster parent(s) can lock them up in system preventing them from ever adopting either private or state s
that is a huge consideration in this day and age, and one that I would get advice from an (neutral) attorney that has experience in family law, particularly adoption, custody, and foster issues
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:20 pm to The Tom Arnold
quote:
My wife is a social worker for DHR and this is not entirely true.
Well someone needs to educate the DHR reps here in Huntsville!
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:21 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
I also know false accusations against a foster parent(s) can lock them up in system preventing them from ever adopting either private or state sponsored. I have a co-worker going thru that right now. One of the questions I have is: What's my right as a prospective foster parent?
I know a preacher and his wife who had their lives basically ruined by a girl they were fostering when she falsely accused the husband of sexually abusing her. The husband was cleared in the end but not before having his named dragged through the mud and having to empty their bank account trying to defend himself. I don't know all the details but it turns out she did it all because they would not let her go to a party or something.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:21 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
My wife & I adopted a son when he was 9 (Florida's system is THE BEST); 21 now. We didn't have to foster first though.
OK, EVERY kid in the "system" has baggage, just like you & your wife. The upshot of fostering first is you 2 get to "test drive" a kid first; if for some reason it isn't a good fit then you move on. The downshot is maybe the kid has some severe issues that you 2 can't handle and a situation gets out of control. It would help if the case worker you're dealing with TELLS YOU EVERYTHING. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
People that adopt kids have my utmost respect
OK, EVERY kid in the "system" has baggage, just like you & your wife. The upshot of fostering first is you 2 get to "test drive" a kid first; if for some reason it isn't a good fit then you move on. The downshot is maybe the kid has some severe issues that you 2 can't handle and a situation gets out of control. It would help if the case worker you're dealing with TELLS YOU EVERYTHING. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
People that adopt kids have my utmost respect
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:22 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
go get one of them chinese babies, they'll be more well mannered.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:22 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
quote:
Well someone needs to educate the DHR reps here in Huntsville
Yea I just asked her again and she said no they have adoption only lists.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:23 pm to Eightballjacket
quote:
For some foster parents, the greatest fear is not getting paid on time.
there are definitely people out there who are "in the business"
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:23 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
i'd like to add what greatest fears would be that aren't feared by biological parents
Well,you're right. But with foster children you don't know what has happened before you assume custody/fostering that shapes a childs decisions, motives, actions, etc. At least with a biological parent...you've had the child since birth so you have some knowledge...of course there's always the "new baby fears" as well.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:24 pm to Wtodd
quote:
People that adopt kids have my utmost respect
I agree. Several friends who adopted although the children were infants. Still not necessarily an easy road to hoe I wouldn't think.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:24 pm to NASA_ISS_Tiger
I'd be scared that if it was a boy he would eventually fall in love with my wife and kill me in the attempt to have her for himself. If it was a girl...you know...Woody Allen.
Posted on 7/27/16 at 12:25 pm to The Tom Arnold
quote:
Yea I just asked her again and she said no they have adoption only lists.
Thank you. I'll pursue MORE information now armed with this information. Of course the next logical question I'll have for DHR is, if you're on the adopt only list...and someone fosters do they get priority?
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