re: For those that thought divorce would be awesome..

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Because the husband never benefits from housekeeper, babysitting, and vacations?

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Housekeeper - yes. Babysitter - more than likely. Vacation - depends... usually winds up being her pick, but usually enjoyable. But at the end of the day, regardless if husband benefits, his arse is still going to need a higher paying job to pay for all of that shite!!

Divorce is bad in one or more aspects, but sometimes necessary. This doesn't mean it can't turn out great for one or both of you.

The kids will suffer the most no matter how well it goes or how well you all get along. It's tough on them.

It is never the same even if you do get along because you will miss out on something and not have that everyday relationship.

However, if you are divorcing the next ideal is you and your spouse remain friendly and cordial, or at the very least agree not to talk badly about the other to the kids.

Your relationship went bad, but the kids relationship most times did not unless one of the spouses are abusive.
With all of that said if the relationship is irreparable it can cause just as much damage to the kids if you remain together.

It all works out differently for each family. I will say kids are remarkable about adapting. Once they realize both parents are still there for them, and they are still loved they can adapt to the new way of life.

If no kids were involved and the marriage is shite there are few negatives other than property, money, etc. Add kids and nothing good about divorce, but life can be good in a different way.

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Here's my advice from a guy who's been married for 24 years and soon to be an empty nester.

Women are generally unhappy most of the time. They are rarely happy with their husband, kids, career and home. They hate work. It pisses them off and they always think they do more than you.

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If you go into dating and marriage knowing and understanding this fact it makes life a whole hell of Alot easier.
Women are illogical and unreasonable.

Try to reason with them or logically show them a problem and they'll dig in and make your life hell. Just weather the storm and keep going. Pay attention to what makes her happy, what makes her complain less, what makes her day better, and do those things. They're usually small and don't take much effort. But it is effort none the less.

I used to try and fight with my wife. Like reason with her and explain why I'm right or how the world really is. It just made shite worse, because women don't really want to talk or discuss anything. They just want to vent. So now I just let her vent as long as she wants while I frick around on tigerdroppings.com or drink bourbon and eventually she stops and its over. If I try to intervene it's world War three.


Of course, I'm a moronic adhd having son of a bitch with 0 short term memory and a quick temper, and my wife has learned how to deal with me just as I have learned how to deal with her. In marriage, you grow as people.

A good marriage requires compromise, lack of selfishness, and intelligently picking your battles.


If you fall for the fairy tale bullshite lovey-dovey rainbows happy forever version of relationships you will be miserable.

If you understand that marriage, like every other endeavor in life, requires work and you get out of it what you put in, you'll live a happy life.

I'm 40 and I can tell you that I was ready when I left. I had no doubts that I wanted to leave. My ex was a horrible hateful wife to me and after many times of threatening to leave, I finally left. The 1st year was absolutely brutal. My work suffered, my personal life suffered even more. People can say what they want but, bruh it will be worse than you think.

Those 6.5's are all bat shite crazy man, trust me! They all come with baggage and you have to figure out which ones are gold diggers or straight up hoes. If you are halfway decent looking you can be neck deep in all the poon-tang you want. Keep in mind most of the keepers are not interested in newly separated or divorcees and the ones that are are either gold diggers or hoes (see above..)

I will be willing to bet that all of your buddies are married which mean you will have to find new single friends. Good luck finding people your age that are total douches. The married buddies you have will slowly stop talking to you because their wives will not want them to be around you much for fear of them doing the same. Plus they have husband and fatherly duties. Get ready to be alone, ALOT.....

Fast forward 2.5 years and it is not bad. She is remarried and happy. We get along better today then we ever have. (That is very abnormal for ex's) My son is about to graduate and go to college, he handled it badly at first but, seems to have learned to deal with it a little better. After several failed relationships where I was in no way ready to be with anyone, I finally slowed down and figured out who I am and what I like. I am now very happy and in a serious relationship with a wonderful lady.

I still have days where I struggle because I am divorced and what that means.

It means that you don't get to see your kids faces on Christmas mornings anymore or at least half the time.
It means that you have to wait to speak to your kids after games or recitals because you have to wait until they are done speaking to her side of the family.
It means that you have to political and negotiate to have the kids do things with you during the times they are with her.
It means instead of having to deal with only one woman (wife) you have to deal with all women (Mom, Sister, GF/New Wife) and that is a pain in the butt.

My advice to you is talk to your wife and tell her that you are not happy and that you are thinking about leaving. BUT, that you want to do everything in your power to rekindle what you have.

If that doesn't work and you both decide to go your separate ways, then I suggest that you take at the minimum of 6 months and figure out who you are. If you don't you will try to make every woman you date into something she is not (more like your ex but different) and you will not be able to cope mentally.

I can say that I am not the same person I was before I left. In some ways I am a better person, in other ways I am not.

if she is a control freak now wait until you get in front of lawyers and a judge.

I haven't said a word to my EX since August 2014. We text if it's about the kids, we pick up or drop off the kids, but as far as verbally speaking it ain't happening.

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1.As far as a housekeeper, we pretty evenly split the chores: cooking dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc
2.I cook at least half of the meals every week.
3.We are fortunate to have parents that are willing to watch the kids anytime we need/want to. Typical dates are dinner, movies, or grocery shopping. Bored to death with this.
4. I could do better with this one. I'm a fiscal conservative, to put it lightly.
5. We are done with having kids. 100%.
6. I agree with this, but it is difficult because of all of the activities and sports our kids are involved in.
7. She gets to do this quite a bit.

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You're not getting the point dude. From that post I see, your dates are stale, your a cheapskate, you refuse to do extra housework because you believe you've done enough, etc.... Do you tell your wife that too, just out of curiosity? Hey, I do enough around here, be happier bitch?

You've fallen into a routine. Stop arguing the merits and the balance of the routine. That's how you lose. It is very understandable and it happens, but you need to break it. Keep it fresh. Surprise her with flowers and the kids at the grandparents. Cook her a meal or go on a weekend getaway.

Your wife is angry because you smack when you eat and leave her to deal with your brats while you golf.

She's lovely to be around when she's at my place.

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I've never seen wedding vows that state you plan to stick around if the other person becomes a miserable turd and tries their best to make your life miserable as well.

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For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. As long as you both shall live.

What the frick do you think that means?

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Enjoy the misery, I guess.

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I'm the farthest from misery I've ever been in my life.

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The one thing we both consistently do is put our kids before ourselves

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Man, y'all need to take some time for yourselves every now and again. Get someone to sit the kids (grandma, grandpa) for an evening and go out on a date. Y'all have to make time for each other, otherwise you just resent being together. I recommend at least 2 date nights a month, depending on the age of the kids, maybe more.