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Hoova1202004
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
Member since Jun 2022
30 posts

Feels like I am about to close a chapter in my life.

In a way it helps me to post here. As many of you know I lost my wife back in June. August 10th will already make 2 months since I found her in our master bathroom on the floor. It is one week away until we move from the home that my wife and I built. I have mixed emotions about leaving. I know in my heart that it’s the right decision to move out. I haven’t even been able to properly grief over her. Staying here in the house is like pulling a band aid off each and every time I am here. The image of finding her dead is burned into my mind. In a way I feel like I am leaving her behind. Since she passed away I have only been in our bedroom a couple of times. But here lately I have found myself just laying in our bed for the last few times before we leave. Just smelling her before her smell is gone forever. I just lay here and talk to her about everything going on. I ask her to watch over us. It’s about to be a new beginning in my life and this chapter of my life is about to close forever. I somehow found this song on YouTube that has helped me with the moving process that is about to begin. LINK


Oates Mustache
US Space Force Fan
Member since Oct 2011
17396 posts

Damn man that's a tough one. I have no idea how I'd make that decision.


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742
BluegrassBelle
Kentucky Fan
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
89979 posts

You do what helps you process it. If that means moving out then you do what you have to do. Take things with you that will let you remember her. Did she have a favorite flower or bush planted at your house you can take with you to replant? That might be a nice reminder.

Definitely talk to someone professionally or with your church about your grief. Losing someone like that is hard.


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971
tigersmanager
LSU Fan
Member since Jun 2010
3578 posts

Sorry for your loss may she RIP
This post was edited on 8/5 at 6:41 pm


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330
Mid Iowa Tiger
Iowa State Fan
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
14010 posts

I know this will sound strange, but in a way I envy you.

My wife of 26 years and 7 kids left out of the blue 6 years ago. No real explanation except for "happiness" - I have to mourn our marriage in silence because if I do it out loud I am weak or whatever.

At least you end on a loving note and can mourn without "shame". I am sorry for your loss, but also a bit envious.

God bless you in this transition.


fallguy_1978
LSU Fan
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
40533 posts

Obviously not the same thing that you are going through but when my parents got divorced my dad said everything in that house reminded him of their marriage and we moved a month or two later. Might help you restart a bit.


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420
ShermanTxTiger
LSU Fan
Broussard, La
Member since Oct 2007
10191 posts

My dad passed June 2. My mom is going through the same thing. My dad made her promise not to sell their house but it is haunted for her. She feels trapped and miserable.

I think the lesson here is the second to go has to be the strongest of the two.


No Colors
Ole Miss Fan
Locker Room
Member since Sep 2010
9273 posts

quote:

I have to mourn our marriage in silence because if I do it out loud I am weak or whatever.


I totally identify with this

But I got into a men's group based around such things. And I found a lot of community in other men doing the same thing. See if you can find something similar. I was surprised at how groups like this were right under my nose. I just didn't know where or how to look


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453
AtlantaLSUfan
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge and Atlanta
Member since Mar 2009
19977 posts

Wow this post is beautiful. Props to how you’re handling the difficult situation.


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600
Hangit
LSU Fan
The Green Swamp
Member since Aug 2014
30509 posts

Sorry for your loss, brother. I wish I had wisdom that I could impart and help, but I am kind of stupid, so I can just send my best, to you, and yours.

Do what feeds you best, Baw.


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220
TD SponsorTD Fan
USA
Member since 2001
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statman34
Houston Astros Fan
Member since Feb 2011
2215 posts

I can’t imagine going through that at this point in my life. My heart breaks for you. May God bless you and lift you up as you move forward.


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210
Kentucker
Kentucky Fan
Cincinnati, KY
Member since Apr 2013
18567 posts

Friend, that brought moisture to my eyes. I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re doing the right thing by moving. I hope you have a close relative, friend or counselor with whom to talk about this.


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250
Stagliano
Louisiana Tech Fan
Member since Dec 2020
1598 posts

I have a cousin who’s like a brother to me that found his wife hanging in their master bathroom that had to make this same decision almost 3yrs ago. Ultimately he ended up staying, reasoning that his two children were better off staying in the only home they had ever known. And I’m sure it being his dream home he’d had built on the marsh in Savannah weighed in as well

I have to say I was stunned when he told me. Waking up and showering where my wife took her life would probably be too much for me personally


Chromdome35
Arkansas Fan
NW Arkansas
Member since Nov 2010
4003 posts

Who's chopping the onion?


Figgy
Florida Fan
CenCal
Member since May 2020
4033 posts

quote:

Take things with you that will let you remember her. Did she have a favorite flower or bush planted at your house you can take with you to replant? That might be a nice reminder.


Exactly this. There’s no reason to ever feel like you’re leaving her behind. She’ll always be with you in spirit until you a reunited when you are called home. Something as small as a houseplant can be a physical reminder of her and it will matter, in a deeply profound way that others may not realize. But it does. Don’t ever stop doing the things that the two of you enjoyed doing together. God Bless.


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250
Texas Ram
Colorado State Fan
Member since Sep 2020
773 posts

It's a long process with ups and downs. The ups and downs eventually modulate to normal frequencies. You will never "get over it", you will learn to accept it.


djangochained
LSU Fan
Gardere
Member since Jul 2013
18577 posts
 Online 

I’m sure the OP didn’t mind that response, some of us aren’t thin skinned


Stagliano
Louisiana Tech Fan
Member since Dec 2020
1598 posts

quote:

I’m sure the OP didn’t mind that response, some of us aren’t thin skinned


There are heavy posts where some levity is well timed

This isn’t one of those


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440
DevilDagNS
Member since Dec 2017
2162 posts

My mom died a little over a month ago. My dad called me today crying. They were married 41 years. It’s heartbreaking.


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500
Hoova1202004
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
Member since Jun 2022
30 posts

I have talked to people that say divorce is worse than a death. You are not weak to grief man. For me so far the emotions come in waves. I seen an old friend the other day that I haven’t seen in years. I was at work and we ran into each other. He gave me a hug and said I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I broke down in the middle of the store in front on everyone. I will definitely say a pray for you.


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