re: Fathers that always look at the negatives; never give praise

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Never needed a pat on the head. I knew he loved me by working his arse off to provide food and shelter.

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Yep. At some point you realize that when your dad didn’t call you a dumbass, that was the praise.

Old school dad’s aren’t going to pat you on the head every time you don’t frick up.

I used to tease my teen daughter about stuff when she was young.

“ Get that smile off your face. It’s homework time”
“Your fun is coming to an end” when it was time to go home.

Sometimes I wish I had never done any of it. She’s turned out great. She’s 14 and I heap praise on her every chance we get.



Now that’s she in high school we need to be more serious.

A parent’s job is to be the thermostat. When you’re low, they bring you up. When you’re running too hot, they bring you back down. My dad has done a great job at that.

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Makes me never want to be that way for my kids

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I’m glad I’m reading things like this.

Seems like when some POS abuses their kid some shithead lib says “that’s how he was raised and can’t help it.”
Never understood that reasoning.

You need to teach your kid there’s no ceiling to what they can do . Never fold

That's how we do it in Belgium.

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Fathers that always look at the negatives; never give praise

As a child, how many of your fathers never encouraged or complimented your achievements or always sought out the negative instead of positive?

For example making a 90 on a test and him asking where the other 10 points were.

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My father was like this. Hell he still is.

Always pushing me to do better, while not giving much praise. Fortunately I was pretty good in athletics and academics, but there was always that part of him that said something about doing better despite how well I did.

Like when I got my first airline job, everyone started off as a flight engineer. He congratulated me on getting hired, but literally right after I finished training successfully, he was on my arse about upgrading to first officer. When I upgraded to first officer, he was riding my arse about upgrading to captain. When I upgraded to captain, it was when was I going to be a check airman. I think he’s disappointed in me because I never became a fighter pilot. Been that way my whole life.

It’s fricking exhausting.

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there is a HUGE difference between saying good try and good swings.

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What’s the difference? I seriously don’t know.

My dad was an over the road owner operator truck driver my whole life and was gone ALOT. But when he was home, he made sure I was with him. Whether it was fishing, running errands, working on his truck, or just sitting around in a Sunday afternoon watching westerns. Always taking these times to teach me life lessons. He always listened to me, encouraged and supported me. He would also whip my arse in heartbeat if I was disrespectful or doing something stupid. If he saw I was just not fulfilling my full potential due to slacking or being lazy it was usually a 2 hour lecture.
He fell into a meth addiction from the time I was about 14 that lasted til I was 40. I eventually cut ties with him completely at 30 because I just couldn’t take the pain anymore of always trying to get him help and him never taking it. A couple years later he ended up in prison because he let some crack head he was dating talk him into setting up a lab in his house. He spent 7 years inside but when he came out he was completely clean and back to the father I had grown up with.
Somehow landed a job with start up construction company hauling heavy equipment and grew with them. He retired last year at 72 as the number 3 man in the company and had a fat bank account. He remarried about 5 years ago and is doing great. Now he catches up time missed with me, my son, and getting to enjoy every second of his 3 fairly recent great grandkids. He is as loving, supporting and encouraging to them as he was to me as a child. Still hugs me and tells me he loves me every time I see him, as I do with my son and daughter. I wish I had never lost the time that his addiction robbed of us but at thankful every day that I got him back. Dude has been a chain smoker since he was 16, spent a lifetime eating like crap in truck stops all over America, and poisoned his body with meth for 26 years and I think at 72 could still kick my arse. How this man is still alive I have no idea. Hell he really didn’t even want to retire and truth be told probably still spends 2 or 3’days a week at the office or the yard piddling around with something. Called him the other day and he was half way to Midland delivering some equipment.

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My father wasn’t like that, but I tell my son I love him and I’m proud of him as much as I can.

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This.