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Ever dated someone whose “dressy” look was a turn off?

Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:46 am
Posted by TomJoadGhost
Alabama
Member since Nov 2022
1003 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:46 am
Took a lady out to a nice dinner Saturday. We’d hung out causally a few times before, but her appearance Saturday just didn’t do it for me. Way too much flashy jewelry and overpowering perfume, and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair. She looked way better when we went to a casual place straight from the tennis courts all sweaty in our tennis attire.

Am I being superficial? I like her and we have plans to do something this weekend, so it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’ve known her for several months but only ever saw her at the tennis club where we both play, so I’d never seen in her in anything but tennis attire, so maybe the shock in disparity is playing into it.
Posted by LSU Coyote
Member since Sep 2007
53390 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:47 am to
You sound like the woman here.
Posted by SG_Geaux
Beautiful St George
Member since Aug 2004
77959 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:47 am to
quote:

Am I being superficial?


Yes
Posted by jose
Houma
Member since Feb 2009
28584 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:49 am to
quote:

looked like she’d spent all day on her hair


Sounds like maybe she was trying to get dressed up and impress you?

I spend extra time on things that are important to me. Just saying.
Posted by LaBR4
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2005
50765 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:49 am to
It Really depends, how large are her breasts?
Posted by Tbonepatron
Member since Aug 2013
8447 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to
quote:

and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair.


The bouffant is making a comeback baw…

Posted by questionable
FL
Member since Apr 2008
1018 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to
None of this happened. Cool fake story though.
Posted by tylerlsu2008
Zurich
Member since Jul 2015
1092 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to
Sounds like she was trying to look really nice for you.

The alternative to that is what would have been the deal breaker for me.
Posted by James11111
Walnut Creek
Member since Jul 2020
4657 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to
Most women over do it when dressing up and end up looking stupid.
This post was edited on 1/9/23 at 9:51 am
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
One State Solution
Member since May 2012
55588 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to
everyone should be wearing hoodies and yoga pants/sweatpants all the time. there's not reason to look good or respectable, ever.
Posted by AwesomeSauce
Das Boot
Member since May 2015
7515 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:51 am to
So you're upset a woman smelled nice and wanted to look good when you took her to dinner? Try a more casual spot to gauge if that is her "look" or if maybe she just did a little too much trying to impress a guy she likes going to a nice dinner. If her look is over the top more than the one instance and in environments where it's not called for, then be as superficial as you want. IMHO
Posted by NATidefan
Two hours North of Birmingham
Member since Dec 2008
36031 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:51 am to
Don't worry, a year down the road and she'll only dress up to go shopping with her friends.

You'll get PJs and farts.

Posted by REB BEER
Laffy Yet
Member since Dec 2010
16192 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:53 am to
The real question is...how did the date end?
Posted by Shexter
Prairieville
Member since Feb 2014
13881 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:53 am to
quote:

Way too much flashy jewelry and overpowering perfume, and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair.


Just sounds like she had a little anxiety on the first date.

Posted by frequent flyer
USA
Member since Jul 2021
2981 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:55 am to
quote:

Took a lady out to a nice dinner Saturday. We’d hung out causally a few times before, but her appearance Saturday just didn’t do it for me. Way too much flashy jewelry and overpowering perfume, and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair. She looked way better when we went to a casual place straight from the tennis courts all sweaty in our tennis attire.


Men and women who aren't accustomed to more formal surroundings are like that. Younger people are like that often. Especially if they grew up in a more blue collar environment. They end up under or over dressing, or using older clothes or shoes that might be out of style.

The perfume thing is common if there's a little extra anxiety, which might happen if she's taken to somewhere outside of her normal comfort zone. Or on a first date. Don't bring this up because it's going to make her more anxious or self-conscious.

I'd say you are being superficial. If you get along with her and you click....who gives a hoot? The way she dresses will evolve over time anyways.
This post was edited on 1/9/23 at 9:57 am
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61189 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:56 am to
Are you Jerry Seinfeld?
Posted by TomJoadGhost
Alabama
Member since Nov 2022
1003 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:56 am to
I’m not upset. I think maybe I just had unfair expectations. She didn’t seem like the type that went all out like that, so it took me by surprise. The date itself went great, so just trying to process my reaction to how she looked. She didn’t look unattractive, just not what I typically go for.
Posted by Odysseus32
Member since Dec 2009
7311 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:57 am to
quote:

Am I being superficial?


Yeah, that's okay. It's okay to be superficial. Don't try to be something you aren't. If physical attraction is important to you, make it a priority. Just make sure the other person is on board. If you try to be the guy who cares more about X than Y, and you hop into a relationship even when you find the other person doesn't fit with Y, the relationship will fizzle. Don't overthink it. Your gut will let you know.

quote:

I like her and we have plans to do something this weekend, so it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’ve known her for several months but only ever saw her at the tennis club where we both play, so I’d never seen in her in anything but tennis attire, so maybe the shock in disparity is playing into it.


The fact that you think it's an issue at all is a deal breaker, IMO. You'll soon enough find things about this person that annoy you/irritate you. If the first few dates are anything except amazing, and you're someone looking for a long-term partner, keep on looking.

Men on this board are absolutely awful at understanding women and how to interact with them. There's a reason that there are so many threads about "Women suck, amirite?" It's because these people are lacking a critical component when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex.

There are times when you should analyze a situation with all your brainpower and make sure that you're getting the best deal. Career, investments, large purchases all fit that bill. Relationships do not. If you go into a relationship with the mindset that YOU are looking for someone who fits into your life, you've failed. It's one of the few situations in which you should listen to your gut, always.

ETA - I should clarify I mean that if this is actually how she is and it makes you uncomfortable. There's always the prospect that she really likes you and took a shot because in her eyes you're worth it.
This post was edited on 1/9/23 at 10:11 am
Posted by diat150
Louisiana
Member since Jun 2005
43519 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:58 am to
quote:

Ever dated someone whose “dressy” look was a turn off?


I could see maybe an issue if she was like this all the time but dont see an issue with a woman wanting to look nice for you.
Posted by TomJoadGhost
Alabama
Member since Nov 2022
1003 posts
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:58 am to
quote:

Men and women who aren't accustomed to more formal surroundings are like that. Younger people are like that often.


We’re both in our 50’s. Lol
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