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Ever dated someone whose “dressy” look was a turn off?
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:46 am
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:46 am
Took a lady out to a nice dinner Saturday. We’d hung out causally a few times before, but her appearance Saturday just didn’t do it for me. Way too much flashy jewelry and overpowering perfume, and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair. She looked way better when we went to a casual place straight from the tennis courts all sweaty in our tennis attire.
Am I being superficial? I like her and we have plans to do something this weekend, so it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’ve known her for several months but only ever saw her at the tennis club where we both play, so I’d never seen in her in anything but tennis attire, so maybe the shock in disparity is playing into it.
Am I being superficial? I like her and we have plans to do something this weekend, so it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’ve known her for several months but only ever saw her at the tennis club where we both play, so I’d never seen in her in anything but tennis attire, so maybe the shock in disparity is playing into it.
71
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:47 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
Am I being superficial?
Yes
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:49 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
looked like she’d spent all day on her hair
Sounds like maybe she was trying to get dressed up and impress you?
I spend extra time on things that are important to me. Just saying.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:49 am to TomJoadGhost
It Really depends, how large are her breasts?
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair.
The bouffant is making a comeback baw…
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to TomJoadGhost
None of this happened. Cool fake story though.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to TomJoadGhost
Sounds like she was trying to look really nice for you.
The alternative to that is what would have been the deal breaker for me.
The alternative to that is what would have been the deal breaker for me.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to TomJoadGhost
Most women over do it when dressing up and end up looking stupid.
This post was edited on 1/9/23 at 9:51 am
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:50 am to TomJoadGhost
everyone should be wearing hoodies and yoga pants/sweatpants all the time. there's not reason to look good or respectable, ever.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:51 am to TomJoadGhost
So you're upset a woman smelled nice and wanted to look good when you took her to dinner? Try a more casual spot to gauge if that is her "look" or if maybe she just did a little too much trying to impress a guy she likes going to a nice dinner. If her look is over the top more than the one instance and in environments where it's not called for, then be as superficial as you want. IMHO
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:51 am to TomJoadGhost
Don't worry, a year down the road and she'll only dress up to go shopping with her friends.
You'll get PJs and farts.
You'll get PJs and farts.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:53 am to TomJoadGhost
The real question is...how did the date end?
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:53 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
Way too much flashy jewelry and overpowering perfume, and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair.
Just sounds like she had a little anxiety on the first date.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:55 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
Took a lady out to a nice dinner Saturday. We’d hung out causally a few times before, but her appearance Saturday just didn’t do it for me. Way too much flashy jewelry and overpowering perfume, and looked like she’d spent all day on her hair. She looked way better when we went to a casual place straight from the tennis courts all sweaty in our tennis attire.
Men and women who aren't accustomed to more formal surroundings are like that. Younger people are like that often. Especially if they grew up in a more blue collar environment. They end up under or over dressing, or using older clothes or shoes that might be out of style.
The perfume thing is common if there's a little extra anxiety, which might happen if she's taken to somewhere outside of her normal comfort zone. Or on a first date. Don't bring this up because it's going to make her more anxious or self-conscious.
I'd say you are being superficial. If you get along with her and you click....who gives a hoot? The way she dresses will evolve over time anyways.
This post was edited on 1/9/23 at 9:57 am
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:56 am to TomJoadGhost
Are you Jerry Seinfeld?
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:56 am to AwesomeSauce
I’m not upset. I think maybe I just had unfair expectations. She didn’t seem like the type that went all out like that, so it took me by surprise. The date itself went great, so just trying to process my reaction to how she looked. She didn’t look unattractive, just not what I typically go for.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:57 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
Am I being superficial?
Yeah, that's okay. It's okay to be superficial. Don't try to be something you aren't. If physical attraction is important to you, make it a priority. Just make sure the other person is on board. If you try to be the guy who cares more about X than Y, and you hop into a relationship even when you find the other person doesn't fit with Y, the relationship will fizzle. Don't overthink it. Your gut will let you know.
quote:
I like her and we have plans to do something this weekend, so it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’ve known her for several months but only ever saw her at the tennis club where we both play, so I’d never seen in her in anything but tennis attire, so maybe the shock in disparity is playing into it.
The fact that you think it's an issue at all is a deal breaker, IMO. You'll soon enough find things about this person that annoy you/irritate you. If the first few dates are anything except amazing, and you're someone looking for a long-term partner, keep on looking.
Men on this board are absolutely awful at understanding women and how to interact with them. There's a reason that there are so many threads about "Women suck, amirite?" It's because these people are lacking a critical component when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex.
There are times when you should analyze a situation with all your brainpower and make sure that you're getting the best deal. Career, investments, large purchases all fit that bill. Relationships do not. If you go into a relationship with the mindset that YOU are looking for someone who fits into your life, you've failed. It's one of the few situations in which you should listen to your gut, always.
ETA - I should clarify I mean that if this is actually how she is and it makes you uncomfortable. There's always the prospect that she really likes you and took a shot because in her eyes you're worth it.
This post was edited on 1/9/23 at 10:11 am
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:58 am to TomJoadGhost
quote:
Ever dated someone whose “dressy” look was a turn off?
I could see maybe an issue if she was like this all the time but dont see an issue with a woman wanting to look nice for you.
Posted on 1/9/23 at 9:58 am to frequent flyer
quote:
Men and women who aren't accustomed to more formal surroundings are like that. Younger people are like that often.
We’re both in our 50’s. Lol
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