re: Dudes dropping out of dating game.

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I’ve got kids at LSU. The college dating scene is similar to how it’s always been, especially for fraternity/sorority life because there are so many events where they have to get a date that it forces them to act.

I’m sure other college kids are similar.

The problem lies afterwards if they don’t meet someone, because they leave that insulated bubble.

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Depending on the college the majority of the college kids are not in a fraternity/sorority scene. Neither of my nieces joined a sorority.

I think after college is also the problem. Let's be honest, the vast majority of students are not going to get married during or right after college. I will say it's the best if you can find that person. My sister married her college boyfriend and they are still married to this day, they'll celebrate 26 years this May. But most kids aren't going to marry anyone they date in college. And I think where the dating scene has really fallen apart is once they are out of college.

Like you said once they leave the insulated college bubble it's just a lot more difficult as you have less places to meet someone and some of the places you traditionally could have met are just not nearly as reliable anymore. Then you end up in the online dating game.

Didn't read it, but I'm married and I can tell you that anyone worth having is either married or has given up by the time they reach my age.I know enough people that are single and no one is looking.

If you read the whole exchange you would see that my point was that he “sounds” like an incel, using the language and talking points.

Not that he was one. I said that he needed to get that out of his system and get back out there, because that attitude can bleed into his personal life and social conversations.

I also apologized for the harshness of my post and said I was confident that he could find whatever he is looking for.

So perhaps your post is the lazy one.

Coffee dates are beta

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This thread has inspired me to finally ask out a girl from work (different department). For the boomers that are pulling girls in their 20s, what do you think of this: “hey (girls name), I’ve really enjoyed our conversations and would like to get to know you more. What do you say we get a cuppa a joe at (name of coffee shop) after work?” Assertive, or too creepy? Also, I’m thinkin’ bout throwing a wink in there when I ask. What do you think?

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Hook is way too shiny and obvious… You and el gaucho need to work on yall’s troll game .

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If you read the whole exchange you would see that my point was that he “sounds” like an incel, using the language and talking points.

Not that he was one. I said that he needed to get that out of his system and get back out there, because that attitude can bleed into his personal life and social conversations.

I also apologized for the harshness of my post and said I was confident that he could find whatever he is looking for.

So perhaps your post is the lazy one.

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I appreciate the concern but you really think I use terms like "red pill" and "black pill" in regular every day life? Message boards talking about the dating scene are literally about the only place where I use terminology like that. I try to offer my perspective but I absolutely am not a MGTOW/Incel anymore. I saw what that mentality was going to give me which was nothing.

The thing about the MGTOW/Incel ideology is that, like so many other cults, you get the illusion of community. They prey on the vulnerable men who are lonely and miserable and those men think they have finally found "their people". The thing is those people don't want to help them. The concept "misery loves company" is so true in the MGTOW/Incel community.

They might act like your friends at first but they are not your friends. They are people you will never meet in real life and they don't want you to get out because then that means they feel worse about themselves. That's why I left, it's not about help, it's about a pity party.

Again don't mistake me using the terminology as context for this discussion as terms I use in every day life. Back when I was firmly entrenched in the MGTOW ideology I absolutely did use those terms in real life but I absolutely do not anymore.

While I wouldn't say I'm 100% healed (who knows if I ever will be, are any of us truly 100% healed from our scare?) or ever will be it's truly a mentality I've put in my past and am doing my best not to let resurface again. I know that it's up to me, even if the odds are against me, to keep going if I ever want to actually find a woman to be with. No one's going to feel sorry for me and I accept that now. That doesn't mean I don't think the deck is stacked against men and that online dating has been horrible for men, I absolutely believe both of those as facts. But we have to try to show men not to let that stop them.

I'll be honest, I don't know how we actually fix the dating culture here in the U.S. Part of me thinks it's going to take an entire generation of men and, in particular, women being utterly alone and miserable. That we're going to have to lose a generation of men and women for the next generation to see the lies that generation was told was nothing but BS and to not fall for the same tricks. I hope I'm wrong and I don't plan on it stopping me personally but it's probably the most likely scenario.

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Didn't read it, but I'm married and I can tell you that anyone worth having is either married or has given up by the time they reach my age.I know enough people that are single and no one is looking.

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Anybody over 40 is walking wounded. You have to deal with their baggage and they with yours. For a lot of people it's not worth the effort.

Another thing to consider about older marriages. You're unlikely to get 20 idyllic years. One partner is very likely to have or develop serious medical issues and the other will be stuck caring for them.

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in every single generation there are a significant number of people that never marry. Mostly male, but not always . “There’s someone for everyone “ is one of those comforting white lies we tell children. Reality is different.

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The one for you may be living on the other side of the world, or maybe died in infancy. Or may be in the same town but you run in different circles and you never meet.

Unless you have some serious personality disorder you can probably find someone you can settle for, but soulmate? IYAM that's the exception. Most people aren't soulmates. They settle, to a greater or lesser extent.

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And many of those had chances to marry and either chose not to, or fricked it up due their own issues. Doesn’t make the idea false. People with Downs Syndrome marry. Obese people marry.

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Exactly .

And ur post proves that marriage is not some ‘end all, be all’ goal to pursue.. Marriage is extremely overrated in most cases .