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Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:48 pm to Jax-Tiger
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:49 pm to Breesus
`I Dont do cocaine to get high,I just like the way it smells`.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:49 pm to Jax-Tiger
I was five years old before I realized there was no such thing as Alpo baby food.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:51 pm to TigerstuckinMS
Is anybody else reading these jokes using his voice? 
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:52 pm to Jax-Tiger
The triple lindy 
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:54 pm to Jax-Tiger
My favorite was actually an audience interaction. "anybody got a cigarette? I left mine in the machine.'
Then "You got a match, I'm not doing magic up here, you know."
Then "You got a match, I'm not doing magic up here, you know."
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:56 pm to Jax-Tiger
From Easy Money:
"My mother-in-law, for years I wouldn't kiss her face; I end up kissing her arse."
"My mother-in-law, for years I wouldn't kiss her face; I end up kissing her arse."
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:59 pm to upgrayedd
quote:
I thought that was a Henny Youngman bit.
Seems you are correct.I could've sworn it was Dangerfield.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:59 pm to Captain Lafitte
My wife likes to talk after sex, so she calls me
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:59 pm to Pepe Lepew
funny as heck bro !
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:00 pm to Breesus
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:01 pm to Captain Lafitte
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:02 pm to Breesus
Good one
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:03 pm to Jax-Tiger
quote:
My grandfatha' had a pacemaker. Every time he sneezed, the garage door opened.
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:04 pm to Captain Lafitte
I told my son the other day some day you will have kids of your own.
He said "so will you"!"
He said "so will you"!"
This post was edited on 5/11/17 at 6:05 pm
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:04 pm to Popths
quote:
Do you have a favorite Rodney Dangerfield quote?"My mother never breast fed me as a kid, she said she liked me as a friend".
close:
"When I was a baby I was breast fed by my father. My mother wouldn't breast feed me, she told me she liked me as a friend".
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:12 pm to Jax-Tiger
Talking about his childhood:
"I asked my old man if I could go ice skating on the lake. He said wait til it gets warmer."
"I asked my old man if I could go ice skating on the lake. He said wait til it gets warmer."
This post was edited on 5/11/17 at 6:14 pm
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:13 pm to Jax-Tiger
"I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year."
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:16 pm to PrimeTime Money
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
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