Started By
Message

Do you have a favorite Rodney Dangerfield quote?

Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:31 pm
Posted by Jax-Tiger
Port Saint Lucie, FL
Member since Jan 2005
24740 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:31 pm
The man was a comic genius. Self-deprecating one-liner after one-liner.

Here are my favorites. Whatcha got?

"Doc, every morning I look in the mirror and feel like barfing, what's wrong", he said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Posted by Ed Osteen
Member since Oct 2007
57473 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:33 pm to
He always annoyed me
Posted by Crusty Juggler
Member since Jun 2013
351 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:34 pm to
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Posted by OKTiger83
Norman, OK
Member since Feb 2013
3123 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:35 pm to
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
95311 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:37 pm to
The first movie I was in was so bad the premiere got walked out on. And it was held on an airplane.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98180 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:39 pm to
"Hey Moose! Rocko! Help the Judge find his checkbook!"
Posted by therick711
South
Member since Jan 2008
25097 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:41 pm to
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Posted by Blizzard of Chizz
Member since Apr 2012
19040 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:42 pm to
I'm sitting on top of the world but I've got hemorrhoids
Posted by Vegas Eddie
The Quad
Member since Dec 2013
5976 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:43 pm to
That's skilled labor for an italian
Posted by Popths
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2016
3965 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:44 pm to
"My mother never breast fed me as a kid, she said she liked me as a friend".
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134860 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:44 pm to
quote:

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:44 pm to
Tell the chef this is low grade dog food. I can still see the marks where the jockey was hitting it.
Posted by Jax-Tiger
Port Saint Lucie, FL
Member since Jan 2005
24740 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:45 pm to
quote:

"Hey Moose! Rocko! Help the Judge find his checkbook!"


Caddyshack was a classic...
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134860 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
Posted by GetBackToWork
Member since Dec 2007
6254 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
This steak still has marks on it from where the jockey was hitting it.

Ohhh baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Posted by Jax-Tiger
Port Saint Lucie, FL
Member since Jan 2005
24740 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
They say 'love thy neighbor as thy self' , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
This post was edited on 5/11/17 at 5:47 pm
Posted by Tortious
ATX
Member since Nov 2010
5135 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
"My wife says she wants to go somewhere she's never been. I say try the kitchen."
Posted by TigerstuckinMS
Member since Nov 2005
33687 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
I don't like cocaine, I just like the way it smells.
Posted by chris44gwlsu
Berlin, Germany
Member since Jan 2008
1165 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:47 pm to
"The best thing about having kids is making them"
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134860 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:47 pm to
quote:

"My wife says she wants to go somewhere she's never been. I say try the kitchen."


I thought that was a Henny Youngman bit.
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 5Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram