re: Divorced guys, click here

Don't forget to cancel/change credit cards
or prepare for a big surprise.

If already mentioned sorry.

Well I found out mine was fricking someone else. Made it quite easy in that aspect. The kids made it much worse.

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Tips on how you finally took the plunge.

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Every married man’s question. Good luck baw

You will have to split what's in your 401k - if you put that money in a separate account I think the theory is it's less money the wife would have access to.

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love her but she's become a bitter, mean, alcoholic.

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Have you tried the intervention thing to push her toward AA or some substance abuse type program? It would likely have more of an impact if your two kids got involved too to let her know how her drinking is affecting their lives too.

If you love her and think the marriage can be worth saving if she gets-----and continues help for her problem, then that might be an option.

If things are too far gone or she won't comply with the above, get ready for a shitstorm of legal crap

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Getting Divorced Checklist
Retain an attorney. Again... Retain an attorney.

Immediate action items:
1) Secure and/or change all passwords. End all open sessions of social media. Make all of this private.
2) On your cell phone bill-if you have a joint account- pay the extra $ for detailed billing. Document communications with Jody.
3) If you are a W-9 employee and have direct deposit- change this. Open a new account at a different bank and deposit your salary there.Transfer money for shelter, transportation, children as necessary. Establish a new checking account with an address that is not your home address. (If she has access to your mail then you don’t have control)
4) Have a detailed copy of your tax returns going back 4-5 years.
5) Change mailing address/ enable paperless documents w/ new passwords for financial accounts.
6) Reduce/eliminate 401k contributions until judgement of divorce. IRA’s are ok to continue.
7) Inventory your home like you would for homeowners/flood insurance.
8) She has a window of opportunity to wreck your credit. Don’t let her.
9) Document, Document, Document Jody...even if it’s simply location tracking of her whereabouts. This will come into play for spousal support payments.
10) File first. Establish the date of separation... every day does count. This list is a 4:30 in the morning checklist and is put together from my own and friends experiences...it’s not meant to be complete- just a starting point. Divorce is about property, money and control. You gotta be on your toes or else you’ll get screwed.

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If I may add these for cases involving custody:

1. Record everything. If you see her, hit record. Even if it is a perfectly civil conversation. Android phones are better for this. They have better telephone call recording apps (if you are in a state that allows single party consent). Save everything!

2. Don't put anything into writing (text, social media, email) that you don't want read out of context in court. Even if she cusses you, either don't engage or respond nicely. This will also help you move on and not let her twist around emotionally. Watch her social media like a hawk. Screen cap anything questionable.

3. Document all substance abuse. Take pictures of bottles.

4. Post everything you do with your kids on social media.

5. Never assume that she wouldn't sink so low to do something.

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Rebuild life? With another loser wife?

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Not necessarily another wife.

He’s going to lose assets and retirement savings. He will need time to refill these.

I was in your shoes with a 2 & 3 year old. Hardest year of my life but now 5 years later I have a wonderful wife and step mom to my kids.

It seems impossible- there were days when I literally could not get out of bed I was so shocked/scared. But time heals all of that and I can look back now and be thankful that I made the call to divorce. Have a better relationship now with my ex than we did while married.