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Started By
Message
re: Divorced Dads of the OT Question For You
Posted on 7/29/20 at 12:24 pm to lsu777
Posted on 7/29/20 at 12:24 pm to lsu777
quote:
Demand better, don't settle and marry up. The ones saying don't get married if you don't want to get divorced, stop marrying for looks only. Or marrying because someone is fun.
Find someone with a brain and ambition, who is mentally stable, moral and is overall a good person.
Y'all marry these women for looks and because they are fun loving and overlook all the flaws. Then act all surprised when she fricks you during a divorce. Then you come on here blaming them when it was you who chose poorly.
All of this. No one says marry for money. Marry someone who shows that they have drive to make something of themselves besides being a Mrs. OR marry someone who has an education/career and can go back to that after the should choose to stay home with the kids.
In a nutshell, marry a male or female who isn’t allergic to hard work and is motivated to do more than the bare minimum in life.
0
Posted on 7/29/20 at 12:32 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
tigerbandpiccolo
Now there's a name I haven't noticed for a long time.
quote:
I know a lot of men will disagree with me, but this right here should be exhibit A as to why you should WANT to marry and procreate with a woman who has a career and makes close to or better than what you do.
shite, when she was working she made more than I did. Then at the third kid she came to me wanting to stay home. I figured a way for that to happen, made up her income (over $100k) inside a year and worked my arse off for the next 16 years. Then she files for divorce and tells me one of the reasons was "I wouldn't let her work" I was dumb founded.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 12:33 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
My question is, isn't the intent of child support to cover food, shelter, and clothing? My ex is acting like if I don't split the costs on the shoes she is going to send them to me barefoot. It is kind of pissing me off more than an afford it thing. What does the wisdom of the OT say?
Yes, you each should have a set of clothes and shoes used for transfer. You shouldn’t be helping her with clothes or shoes. She collects a check from you to do that.
This post was edited on 7/29/20 at 12:34 pm
Posted on 7/29/20 at 12:35 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully you don’t have a whole lot longer to pay child support, do you?
Posted on 7/29/20 at 1:35 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully you don’t have a whole lot longer to pay child support, do you?
Thanks, 9 years or about $350k.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 1:37 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Divorced dads how do you all see what child support covers?
General rule is you don't. You give to her and she can do what she wants.
That's my impression. I got lucky and don't have to pay child support as I am the domiciliary parent.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 1:41 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
It's never been a complete balance of payments. I pay more.
But each item I buy that specifically goes to my kids is appreciated by them so I've never thought of keeping track.
CS is no longer about sharing the cost, it's about equaling out the households so the kids don't cycle from trailer to mcmansion when they go to each of their parents homes.
But each item I buy that specifically goes to my kids is appreciated by them so I've never thought of keeping track.
CS is no longer about sharing the cost, it's about equaling out the households so the kids don't cycle from trailer to mcmansion when they go to each of their parents homes.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 1:46 pm to Tigeralum2008
One of the things I was able to do with child support was tie it to having the kids live in the same house (the one she got when we divorced). If she chooses to move out of that house while the kids are still minors, she surrenders the vast majority of support. I don’t like paying it but I know that my kids will live in that house half the time through graduation and live in my house half the time.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 1:49 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Why don’t you buy their shoes and clothes online and have them shipped to her house?
Posted on 7/29/20 at 1:54 pm to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
One of the things I was able to do with child support was tie it to having the kids live in the same house (the one she got when we divorced). If she chooses to move out of that house while the kids are still minors, she surrenders the vast majority of support. I don’t like paying it but I know that my kids will live in that house half the time through graduation and live in my house half the time.
No way Louisiana "No Fault" family courts would go for this. Very cut and dry formula with preordained factors that are considered in calculating CS.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:06 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
I'm going through a divorce, and we have started discussing child support.
We are spelling out:
1) What the state-mandated child support amount will cover
2) What "additional" expenses will be eligible for reimbursement to their mother, and at what rate
3) How we will handle the children's expenses that I directly pay for and/or I pay for while they are in my care.
In my mind, number 2 is the expenses that aren't necessary to sustain them. Basic clothes and shoes are necessary to sustain them. Uniforms for school (our exceptional public schools require uniforms) and public school supplies / fees are necessary to sustain them. Basic medical bills such as visits to the doctor when they are sick, are necessary to sustain them. All that is going to be covered by the somewhat substantial, O-T level basic child support payment mandated by the state.
Things like their cheerleading and dancing costs, sports, etc, I consider to be extra, and I will reimburse their mom for a share of those, however, it is written in that I will only reimburse her if I previously agree to the expense. before it is incurred.
All of this shite sucks, I'm sorry.
We are spelling out:
1) What the state-mandated child support amount will cover
2) What "additional" expenses will be eligible for reimbursement to their mother, and at what rate
3) How we will handle the children's expenses that I directly pay for and/or I pay for while they are in my care.
In my mind, number 2 is the expenses that aren't necessary to sustain them. Basic clothes and shoes are necessary to sustain them. Uniforms for school (our exceptional public schools require uniforms) and public school supplies / fees are necessary to sustain them. Basic medical bills such as visits to the doctor when they are sick, are necessary to sustain them. All that is going to be covered by the somewhat substantial, O-T level basic child support payment mandated by the state.
Things like their cheerleading and dancing costs, sports, etc, I consider to be extra, and I will reimburse their mom for a share of those, however, it is written in that I will only reimburse her if I previously agree to the expense. before it is incurred.
All of this shite sucks, I'm sorry.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:07 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Part of your male privilege is being fricked hard in divorce and custody courts. Enjoy it.
The costs of the lawyer will far out pace just paying for those clothes.
The costs of the lawyer will far out pace just paying for those clothes.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:13 pm to The Goon
quote:
I’m not great at buying that stuff. My ex lives to shop for my daughter. I split those items with her so I don’t have to go shopping or look through amazon.
This. I love my kids, but when it comes to buying my 12 year old feminine undergarments and toiletry items... there's a special bond between mom and daughter than I don't want to break, especially if my soon to be ex is doing what needs to be done.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:20 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
All of this shite sucks, I'm sorry.
Is it mutual and somewhat amicable? That's tough with kids involved. My parents went through a pretty nasty divorce with 3 kids in the late 80s.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:40 pm to fightin tigers
No ... I send it to her in a text and she never says anything as in never argues and says “take it out of my CS”
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:41 pm to deltaland
My ex once told me she uses it to pay her car note.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 2:54 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Laws vary by state, but the receiving x-spouse is supposed to use the monies for the childs food, clothing and shelter. That said, if you are paying, and "basic needs" aren't being met, then you have a beef that you need to direct back through your attorney.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 3:24 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
Is it mutual and somewhat amicable?
It's not mutual. It is somewhat amicable.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 3:59 pm to LSUFanHouston
Sorry to hear that man. I hope y'all are able to reconcile your differences.
Posted on 7/29/20 at 4:15 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
Sorry to hear that man. I hope y'all are able to reconcile your differences.
The only hope is that it takes a year in LA with kids. Because at this time, there is NO chance. Maybe over the upcoming months, she changes her mind, because to reconcile, you have to want to reconcile, and she does not want to reconcile.
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