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Message
re: Divorced baws, tell me it gets easier...
Posted on 6/9/22 at 10:42 am to The Scofflaw
Posted on 6/9/22 at 10:42 am to The Scofflaw
If this is something they wanted, then your 1000% better off. You will eventually get over them. It isn’t something that’s easy especially with kids. Just don’t ever badmouth your ex. The kids will eventually see the light. Work on you. You will come out better than you could possibly imagine. Don’t jump back into any relationships for at least 2 years. Enjoy your new found freedom. Don’t be a hermit. Get out and do things you enjoy.
0
Posted on 6/9/22 at 10:43 am to The Scofflaw
quote:
Just going through it now.
We filed two weeks ago…
Posted on 6/9/22 at 11:06 am to The Scofflaw
(no message)
This post was edited on 7/7/22 at 9:07 pm
Posted on 6/9/22 at 11:10 am to redstick13
quote:
It was better for me the second I signed the paperwork that made it official.
Amen. Do I hear a hallelujah?
Posted on 6/9/22 at 1:36 pm to The People
Thanks baws, and everyone that offered encouragement. Ngl I cried my eyes out yesterday (probably most I cried since my mother passed). Woke up today went to gym, feeling better already. Taking it one day at a time.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 1:53 pm to The Scofflaw
it's gets a LOT easier. like, new lease on life type easier.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 1:58 pm to The Scofflaw
Soon you will realize how unhappy you really were and be thankful. Especially after meeting a good woman.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:16 pm to MarlinMan
quote:
counseling
The biggest con of them all.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:25 pm to Spaceman Spiff
I initiated my divorce 5 years ago. Kept the house and have the kids full time / pay zero in child support. Win/Win for me. Have a girlfriend that is awesome and is complete opposite of my psycho ex.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:26 pm to The Scofflaw
quote:
Ngl I cried my eyes out yesterday (probably most I cried since my mother passed)
My mother died abruptly from cancer that had rapidly metastasized to her brain, shortly thereafter my ex-wife filed for divorce. Most I've ever cried in my life. Like, out of the blue emotional at times. Took the opportunity to reach out to employer-provided mental counseling (telehealth since this was during Covid), and the whole gist of that was that I would stop being depressed once depressing things stopped happening to me.
It has taken almost two years to get through the divorce and later modifications, but just this week I got primary custody of the kids and the geographic restriction widened to finally help put this chapter in the rearview mirror.
Hang in there.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:34 pm to SWCBonfire
Your ex filed for divorce right after your mom passed? fricking women... 
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:37 pm to The Scofflaw
I don’t know. I’m really considering it at the moment. Our fights are the same fights every time and neither of us seem to be willing to budge. She wants to piss away money while I want to put it away for retirement.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:39 pm to The Scofflaw
Man, it’s natural to have these feelings. When we weep it is literally our brain being overloaded with emotion chemicals and the tears are dumping the excess chemicals. That’s why we feel a little better afterwards.
Allow yourself to process your emotions. Just try not to dwell in the dark places. Surround yourself with friends and family and your kids when you can. You don’t have to go it alone.
Join a support group. Hell, you can reach out to posters here.
My line is always open.
<<<<@gmail
Don’t hesitate to reach out when it gets a little rough
Allow yourself to process your emotions. Just try not to dwell in the dark places. Surround yourself with friends and family and your kids when you can. You don’t have to go it alone.
Join a support group. Hell, you can reach out to posters here.
My line is always open.
<<<<@gmail
Don’t hesitate to reach out when it gets a little rough
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:41 pm to The Scofflaw
Its get much much better.
Anyone that says any different doesnt know shite and are only speculating.
Anyone that says any different doesnt know shite and are only speculating.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:45 pm to The Scofflaw
The best description of divorce was from a poster on here.
Kingbob said divorce is like being broken and hollowed out, then being left trying to figure how to fill the missing pieces of you again.
That definitely sums it up.
Kingbob said divorce is like being broken and hollowed out, then being left trying to figure how to fill the missing pieces of you again.
That definitely sums it up.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 2:48 pm to llfshoals
quote:
Important thing to remember for both of you is the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence
I get where you're coming from and am not calling you out personally...but I hate this saying. There's no way everyone's grass is equally green...
Posted on 6/9/22 at 3:00 pm to The Scofflaw
I (fortunately) haven’t gone though it myself, but my parents divorced when I was 10.
Whatever you do, don’t talk shite about your ex to the kids. If you find out that she’s trashing you to the kids, just let them know that she’s upset and going through a tough time, but if they have any questions about anything she’s saying they can come to you because you love them, are there for them, and are still the same dad you’ve always been. If you need to vent to someone about her, make sure the kids are not in earshot. I can’t tell you how many times I overheard shite from my parents and their families that upset me. It really damaged a lot of my familial relationships.
Don’t hesitate to go see a therapist if needed.
If y’all can figure out a way to co-parent peacefully, do it. It’s so much harder when you can’t get along. I’m in my 40s and still feel awkward when my parents are in the same room.
Prayers for you. It will definitely get easier, promise.
Whatever you do, don’t talk shite about your ex to the kids. If you find out that she’s trashing you to the kids, just let them know that she’s upset and going through a tough time, but if they have any questions about anything she’s saying they can come to you because you love them, are there for them, and are still the same dad you’ve always been. If you need to vent to someone about her, make sure the kids are not in earshot. I can’t tell you how many times I overheard shite from my parents and their families that upset me. It really damaged a lot of my familial relationships.
Don’t hesitate to go see a therapist if needed.
If y’all can figure out a way to co-parent peacefully, do it. It’s so much harder when you can’t get along. I’m in my 40s and still feel awkward when my parents are in the same room.
Prayers for you. It will definitely get easier, promise.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 3:21 pm to The Scofflaw
Divorced woman (who fought like hell to save the marriage even though he cheated and lied about several things throughout the marriage).
I know it sounds so cliche….but time really does make it so much easier. I was a train wreck with my divorce. At times it physically hurt the thought of losing my marriage.
5 months after divorce was final (was final Jan 2021) and I was finally starting to try and date again and make a new life for myself….and then my father dies. And my ex (who I had been relatively civil with up till then) acted horrifically towards me days after my father passed. I’ve never seen him in person since then (we didn’t have kids) and don’t really have any other contact with him now.
One day you will wake up and realize just how much happier you are without them. You will see that if you were still with your ex spouse you would still be living a miserable life.
Give yourself time to properly grieve though. It is a huge loss. You will know when you are ready to date again.
I’m dating someone that also was badly hurt in his divorce. They have kids together so he tries his best to coparent with his ex for the sake of his kids. He said when he was really struggling with the divorce he just focused on being the best dad he could be even when he just wanted to fall apart. He has them 50/50 and they are really good kids.
I know it sounds so cliche….but time really does make it so much easier. I was a train wreck with my divorce. At times it physically hurt the thought of losing my marriage.
5 months after divorce was final (was final Jan 2021) and I was finally starting to try and date again and make a new life for myself….and then my father dies. And my ex (who I had been relatively civil with up till then) acted horrifically towards me days after my father passed. I’ve never seen him in person since then (we didn’t have kids) and don’t really have any other contact with him now.
One day you will wake up and realize just how much happier you are without them. You will see that if you were still with your ex spouse you would still be living a miserable life.
Give yourself time to properly grieve though. It is a huge loss. You will know when you are ready to date again.
I’m dating someone that also was badly hurt in his divorce. They have kids together so he tries his best to coparent with his ex for the sake of his kids. He said when he was really struggling with the divorce he just focused on being the best dad he could be even when he just wanted to fall apart. He has them 50/50 and they are really good kids.
Posted on 6/9/22 at 3:23 pm to lsunurse
Hey guh 
Posted on 6/9/22 at 5:16 pm to LSUZombie
@LSUZombie this was an incredibly thoughtful response to the OP and everyone reading. Thank you.
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