re: Dealing with family/loved one with a mental illness--Update Page 11

i do not plan on having children, as many in this thread but I don't begrudge or judge those who still choose to chase the American dream of a wife , three kids , and a white picket fence.

I honestly just try to be the best person I can be, and interact with my small social circle and try to enjoy life.

for me as of today this is the lg. weed. and the occasional tinder thots.

but I'm considering changing my Lifee all around.

I have a grand inheritance that I've considered buying a van and just going into van life for awhile.

off the grid. idk seems like an okay like away from all the crazy ppl in this world

anyway sorry to hear about your uncle. sometimes when I smoke I ramble on.. sorry if my post doesn't make much sense. I promise it is all conceptual in a round about sorta way

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I haven't been the best Christian

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Real faith is more about finding it than where you find it. I grew up in the church but have seen it in other faiths as well. Conversely, know lots of folks claiming to be christian that are without true faith.

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Severe anxiety with obsessive thoughts related to the anxiety. Some depression as well. Recently he's been delusional at times

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Has his shrink checked him for schizophrenia?

Anxiety and depression are often secondary indicators. If your dad has addictions to booze are drugs they are often used to "self medicate" which often has the reverse effect to those trying to help them.

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Any update on OP's dad?

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none that ive seen, but dfintlyHmmrd is stil a dickbag

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Has his shrink checked him for schizophrenia?

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In the 2 years he has been seeing my dad, he has never said he was schizophrenic. Remember...the delusions are a new thing. And my father doesn't drink at all or use any recreational drugs or even smoke cigarettes.

My dad still on medical unit. Just got home from visiting him and about to go to bed. Long day. His kidney function is much improved. He gets a little confused at time and he seems shakier right now. He has a 24/7 sitter so that is good. But he isn't calling me nonstop anymore. Knows where he is at. Can tell me he doesn't want to go home until he can function better.


The hospitalist this am had a case worker come see my dad to assess for psych placement. Talked at length with her. Basically if my dad isn't a danger to his self or others....he won't be accepted by any inpatient geri-psych units. Yay for our wonderful mental health system.

She did say he isn't fully medically cleared yet and when he is the doctor can consult again and they can reassess. She basically just told me to follow up with his psychiatrist. And start paperwork for durable mental health power of attorney for my dad for the future.


ETA: She also suggested we get him seen by a neurologist.

Basically what I learned today is that if I want my father to receive inpatient psych help in the future...lie and say he is making suicidal threats again. Then maybe they will want to help him.

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ETA: She also suggested we get him seen by a neurologist.

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Do this. Two months before MIL passed, she started very close to what your dad is going thru. Forgot what it was, but is was something that attack her brain with no cure.

What about an assisted living place

Wow, you are dealing with aging parents who are poor, dementia and siblings that need constant care. Prayers to you for that.

I thought our situation was tough, caring for one aging parent.

Bless your heart, and continued prayers to your family.

Sounds like YOU need case management.

I mean that. You need the card and contact info of the case manager you ever speak with that you feel is good at their job. Or a good Geri psych intake person. They can be a resource.

Are you able to take in your siblings? When the time comes you will be the POA.

You are going to wind up your entire families keeper. I wish you the best of luck. Sounds like you are preparing yourself for that reality already. Health care people can take care of their own. Meaning lean on the resource people you work with. Maybe they can get you an inside track on placement. One of the few perks of healthcare.

Where do you and they live? Just state wise. I’m not trying to get creepy. Lol

I don't know why this post is getting downvoted.

I'm not some monster that is gonna just abandon my family. If I couldn't find a decent group home where my siblings could have as much independence as their conditions allow....I would of course consider them coming to live with me. But I've just had several people (counselors, my therapists, etc) tell me that a group home setting would be better for all involved.

I'm still allowed to have a life as well. How many of you that care for aging parents also have families and lives of your own?

Yeah I know the bed situation is always an issue.

It just sucks. His own psychiatrist told us to take him to the ER so he can get admitted to inpatient psych to stabilize while they adjust meds.

All of the staff there have my number and know that it is best to call me to discuss my dad. Luckily today I don't have any meetings so can easily step out to take calls about my dad at work. I'll call later today and get updates from the nurse and have the hospitalist call me as well to let me know what's going on. I'll also contact psychiatrist today and let him know what's going on.

I'll go visit my dad again today after work.


He's still on oxygen and getting breathing treatments. Likely remnants from his pneumonia he was in another hospital for last weekend. So maybe that can at least keep him in the hospital another day instead of us being told he has to go home(and not to psych) today.


I still think this is an acute event with my dad that could be helped with a change of his medication.