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Message
re: Dealing with a break up as a father
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:40 pm to KillTheGophers
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:40 pm to KillTheGophers
That kind of talk, true or not, does not help anybody.
2
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:46 pm to KillTheGophers
quote:
man, I hate to tell ya but she is already sleeping with someone else and he is in her ear every day getting her to leave you. you have to attack her with every legal means available to you...drain your joint accounts now, take hold of all your assets, make sure she is the one that moves out, hire the best legal counsel you can afford. settle for nothing less than 50 / 50 custody and fight to the end for that.
OP, you don’t want to hear this but this man speaks the truth.
Make your moves now. This is a chess game and you are already behind. You can try counseling but have your pieces in order to strike if it doesn’t work.
You want to win this and protect yourself and your assets you move now.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:48 pm to 3nOut
quote:
That kind of talk, true or not, does not help anybody.
bullshite. This is the hard talk people need the OT for. To tell them the truths they don’t want to hear and the people closest to them likely won’t tell them.
It’s exactly what he needs to hear
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:52 pm to fr33manator
Don’t get me wrong. He needs to find out if she’s cheating. With haste.
But “she’s leaving counseling with you to go suck the chrome off another dude,” is just kind of an assholish way to go about it.
But “she’s leaving counseling with you to go suck the chrome off another dude,” is just kind of an assholish way to go about it.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:55 pm to 3nOut
quote:
That kind of talk, true or not, does not help anybody
Just because yours quit suckin off her side cock when you realized what a selfish cockmonkey you were don't mean his will.
He's right. Facts.
This post was edited on 9/12/18 at 7:56 pm
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:55 pm to 3nOut
quote:
Don’t get me wrong. He needs to find out if she’s cheating. With haste.
Man, i’ve Seen this dozens of times. I know the script. Is she often on her phone and hiding it when he’s around? Lack of affection when he is?
He needs to make the moves now. Be proactive.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 7:56 pm to mikelbr
quote:
Just because yours quit suckin off her side cock when you realized what a selfish cockmonkey you were don't mean his will.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:02 pm to TeamCKennedy
It sucks! It absolutely does. If she has already “checked out” then there is someone else.
My ex wife and I seperated once and then reconciled. Son was 3 at the time.
We lasted for less than 3 years after reconciling. We realized we were better off as friends and co parents.
But before I filed for divorce I lived in guest room for a year and worked on myself and really tried to make my marriage work. In the end I have zero regrets and I am happier than I have ever been. I have 50:50 with my now nine year old. Ex and I are both in new relationships and we get along great. We always keep it about our son first and foremost.
I guess to sum it up, don’t just try and make it work for your daughter. It won’t last and she will have bad exmaple of a marriage. It doesn’t have to be ugly.
My ex wife and I seperated once and then reconciled. Son was 3 at the time.
We lasted for less than 3 years after reconciling. We realized we were better off as friends and co parents.
But before I filed for divorce I lived in guest room for a year and worked on myself and really tried to make my marriage work. In the end I have zero regrets and I am happier than I have ever been. I have 50:50 with my now nine year old. Ex and I are both in new relationships and we get along great. We always keep it about our son first and foremost.
I guess to sum it up, don’t just try and make it work for your daughter. It won’t last and she will have bad exmaple of a marriage. It doesn’t have to be ugly.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:04 pm to 3nOut
quote:
Don’t get me wrong. He needs to find out if she’s cheating. With haste.
It's mostly trashy people who never saw it coming that their angel wife with the back tat who posted selfies in her car every day would stray from her vows. It's not the norm.
Only OP knows if his wife is of the sort or not.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:10 pm to Pettifogger
Women are like monkeys. They swing from vines and won’t let go of one until they got a hold of another. If she’s ready to go, she has someone already, plain and simple.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:20 pm to TeamCKennedy
If it was me my desire to see my daughter every day would outweigh my disdain for my wife
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:21 pm to jmh5724
quote:
Women are like monkeys. They swing from vines and won’t let go of one until they got a hold of another. If she’s ready to go, she has someone already, plain and simple.
I didn't get the sense she was the one initiating the separation, but certainly, I'd be suspicious if she was
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:47 pm to TeamCKennedy
Aww, poor baby who can't get along with his wife.
Well, frick you buttercup.
You owe it to your daughter to try to work it out, and even more than that: unless you intend to try to get full custody because your wife is a complete a-hole, you owe it to your daughter to stay with your wife until she moves out.
Yep, you heard me right. You are not entitled to go try to follow your heart or be at peace. When you helped bring a little girl in this world, you signed an unseen contract that says you will put her ahead of everything else in your life, with the exception of your wife, whom you already signed a similar contract when you said "I do". Now you want to reneg on both? frick that. Be a man, asswipe. Your daughter will benefit greatly by a stable 2 parent family. That has been beyond proven at this point. And no, no matter what some pussy divorcees say, she won't feel awkward or be emotionally scarred if you and your wife aren't fawning over each other in love. If you can be amicable towards each other and focus on raising your daughter, she will turn out just fine.
YOU OWE HER a chance at her best life, frickstick. She didn't ask you to bring her into the world and then help tear her family apart. Again, either full custody, or you stay with the wife until the kid is raised, either by working it out or sucking it up.
BE
A
MAN
Well, frick you buttercup.
You owe it to your daughter to try to work it out, and even more than that: unless you intend to try to get full custody because your wife is a complete a-hole, you owe it to your daughter to stay with your wife until she moves out.
Yep, you heard me right. You are not entitled to go try to follow your heart or be at peace. When you helped bring a little girl in this world, you signed an unseen contract that says you will put her ahead of everything else in your life, with the exception of your wife, whom you already signed a similar contract when you said "I do". Now you want to reneg on both? frick that. Be a man, asswipe. Your daughter will benefit greatly by a stable 2 parent family. That has been beyond proven at this point. And no, no matter what some pussy divorcees say, she won't feel awkward or be emotionally scarred if you and your wife aren't fawning over each other in love. If you can be amicable towards each other and focus on raising your daughter, she will turn out just fine.
YOU OWE HER a chance at her best life, frickstick. She didn't ask you to bring her into the world and then help tear her family apart. Again, either full custody, or you stay with the wife until the kid is raised, either by working it out or sucking it up.
BE
A
MAN
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:48 pm to TeamCKennedy
Few things) it takes at least one person to try and get along. Are you giving it a lot of effort?
One thing that always crossed my mind, when mine was young. Do I want another man raising my daughter? And possibly walking her down the aisle?? Not me.
One thing that always crossed my mind, when mine was young. Do I want another man raising my daughter? And possibly walking her down the aisle?? Not me.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 8:57 pm to PrivatePublic
You act like it’s a decision you can make solely on your own. The ugly truth is that if only one person wants to be in the marriage in this modern world there isn’t much you can do if the person is already checked out.
I just got off the phone with my kids. My baby girl told me she wished that we could all live together. I told her that I did too. Breaks my heart, but what am i supposed to do?
I do the best I can with the cards i’ve Been dealt. It sucks sometimes but I don’t see a better solution.
I just got off the phone with my kids. My baby girl told me she wished that we could all live together. I told her that I did too. Breaks my heart, but what am i supposed to do?
I do the best I can with the cards i’ve Been dealt. It sucks sometimes but I don’t see a better solution.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 9:04 pm to PrivatePublic
quote:
Aww, poor baby who can't get along with his wife.
Well, frick you buttercup.
You owe it to your daughter to try to work it out, and even more than that: unless you intend to try to get full custody because your wife is a complete a-hole, you owe it to your daughter to stay with your wife until she moves out.
Yep, you heard me right. You are not entitled to go try to follow your heart or be at peace. When you helped bring a little girl in this world, you signed an unseen contract that says you will put her ahead of everything else in your life, with the exception of your wife, whom you already signed a similar contract when you said "I do". Now you want to reneg on both? frick that. Be a man, asswipe. Your daughter will benefit greatly by a stable 2 parent family. That has been beyond proven at this point. And no, no matter what some pussy divorcees say, she won't feel awkward or be emotionally scarred if you and your wife aren't fawning over each other in love. If you can be amicable towards each other and focus on raising your daughter, she will turn out just fine.
YOU OWE HER a chance at her best life, frickstick. She didn't ask you to bring her into the world and then help tear her family apart. Again, either full custody, or you stay with the wife until the kid is raised, either by working it out or sucking it up.
BE
A
MAN
Growing up in a toxic environment will do more damage in the long run. Assuming OP doesn't get involved with another psychopath then at least he will be able to provide one example of a stable environment.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 9:10 pm to TeamCKennedy
My ex and I separated when my son was 9 and my little girl was 4. I’d honestly rather lose an arm or leg than to go through that again, or for them to go through that again. Seeing them cry, hearing “I want Dadddddy!”, or knowing I wouldn’t be there for them when they needed me, was miserable. I work my arse off now to be there and to see them as much possible, but it’s not the same. I’ve declined promotions and new job offers because the job I have allows me flexibility to see them.
My advice, y’all put your selfishness or bullshite aside and think about the baby. I don’t mean that harshly, I’m being 100% sincere. I wish someone would have told me the same. If at the end of the day you can honestly look at her and say “I tried my absolute hardest”, then so be it. But till then...
And good luck brotha!
My advice, y’all put your selfishness or bullshite aside and think about the baby. I don’t mean that harshly, I’m being 100% sincere. I wish someone would have told me the same. If at the end of the day you can honestly look at her and say “I tried my absolute hardest”, then so be it. But till then...
And good luck brotha!
Posted on 9/12/18 at 9:13 pm to TeamCKennedy
quote:What about the child? Is it best for her?
So we are separating. I think it's for the best for us
quote:Yes, and instead of quitting like losers, my wife and I worked on the relationship.
Any other fathers been then this scenario and have advice or words of encouragement for this hard time?
Posted on 9/12/18 at 9:15 pm to fr33manator
A friend of ours did our divorce pro bono. All I had to do was pay service and filing fees. I think total mine was 100!
Did we divorce the same woman, sisters perhaps? I don’t/didn’t pay alimony or child support and also got 50/50 visitation because, in the end, it was amicable.
Did we divorce the same woman, sisters perhaps? I don’t/didn’t pay alimony or child support and also got 50/50 visitation because, in the end, it was amicable.
Posted on 9/12/18 at 9:17 pm to go_tigres
quote:fr33 found his wife with another man in her various orifices, so probably no relation
Did we divorce the same woman, sisters perhaps? I don’t/didn’t pay alimony or child support and also got 50/50 visitation because, in the end, it was amicable.
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