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re: Dads, when / should you let your son best you?

Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:12 am to
Posted by Robin Masters
Birmingham
Member since Jul 2010
36821 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:12 am to
Never. Of course don’t beat them without giving them instruction on how they get better. My son thinks he’s fast but I still smoke him but as we’re racing I usually shout out some pointers and then make sure he knows I’m at a supreme advantage due to my legs being almost twice as long as his. The day will come when he is faster, probably 3 or 4 years so I’ll let him earn it. It will actually be a pretty special moment I think.
I used to dominate him in soccer (which is his sport) but he can legit smoke me with the ball now. Kid has some moves and is way faster with his first step.
Posted by fishfighter
RIP
Member since Apr 2008
40026 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:13 am to
Just never.
Posted by baldona
Florida
Member since Feb 2016
24473 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:19 am to
Let him win? What kind of Nancy crap is that. Might as well give him a participation trophy while you are at it. A kid should win when they actually win. It does absolutely no good to teach someone they can 'win' at something when they actually aren't very good.

You need to teach them to work harder to actually be the best.
Posted by Homesick Tiger
Greenbrier, AR
Member since Nov 2006
56166 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:22 am to
quote:

At what point do you start letting the little one win to boost confidence?


When he earned it. He appreciates that fact now.
Posted by Robin Masters
Birmingham
Member since Jul 2010
36821 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:25 am to
quote:

You need to teach them to work harder to actually be the best.


Perhaps the most important lesson they can learn. Humility and hard work go hand in hand. I was always told I was smart so I never thought I had to work. Terrible thing to do to a kid.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
72460 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:33 am to
quote:

This is a great way to reinforce the benevolent father theme in their mind. You could crush them in everything if you wanted. But you don't. Because you love them and they are important. And when they challenge that, you can put them down.


Right on, and for the record I’m talking about little kids. Like your rat example my kids realize it’s a “game” when they’re asking me to “race with them” or “ play me in football” (one on one where one tries to evade the other). After a little while they’ll even say something like “ok now run as fast as you can this time” and they’re amazed at how big the gap really is but also hold you in high esteem.
Posted by WestlakeTiger
San Antonio, Tejas
Member since Feb 2012
9510 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:07 am to
fricking never.
Posted by jflsufan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Mar 2013
5258 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:17 am to
Delete
This post was edited on 6/16/18 at 8:20 am
Posted by Monday
Prairieville
Member since Mar 2013
5257 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:40 am to
My dad used to whip my arse in ping pong constantly. I played every night for probably a month straight to beat him. While I was trying hard, he nonchalantly returned every ball and beat me again. After another month of practicing, I finally won. You’d have thought I won the Super Bowl.

I’m a firm believer in making your kids earn their wins. It’s ok to keep it competitive to keep them interested, but if you let your children always win you are missing out on great teaching lessons. Like how to win and lose graciously, good sportsmanship, and work ethic.
Posted by Tiger1242
Member since Jul 2011
33368 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:51 am to
quote:


That made me laugh when I recalled how one of my cousins, at age 16, decided he was going to challenge his old man. My uncle kept 2 pairs of boxing gloves at the house for those times when his 4 sons would get on each other's nerves and a fight would break out.

My uncle put on one glove, the left, and put his right hand behind his back and they got after it, but only for a couple punches before my cousin quit. He had a broken nose and soon developed 2 black eyes for his effort. He never challenged his dad again.


What kind of crazy redneck insanity is this?
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:58 am to
quote:

At what point do you start letting the little one win to boost confidence?


Honestly just a terrible idea.

True Story Alert:

I guess is was 7 and my Dad was dating a woman about a year after my mom had died. We were in our living room together and my Dad and I were playing chess. and as you can imagine, he was beating me pretty easily.

His girlfriend decided to say exactly what you just did...that he should let me win once.

We BOTH looked at her as if she was insane. Except it wasn't my dad that scolded her, it was me. I said something to the effect that it wouldn't be any fun if I beat him but he let me win. that there would have been no point in playing at all if when I won I wouldn't know if I had earned it or he had given up.

Yeah...don't ever do this. You'll be depriving your son of the joy of his deserving victory when he does eventually beat you in something.
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
109169 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:24 am to

They have to earn it
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
109169 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:25 am to
quote:

He will get to that age when he stands up to you and then realizes he made a mistake.




Truth
Posted by bigpetedatiga
Alexandria, LA
Member since Aug 2009
8796 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:49 am to
When he actually beat me.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
30473 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:55 am to
Mine is 11 and we go at it wrestling all the time, I get on my knees.

Posted by Moot Point
Georgia
Member since Feb 2009
236 posts
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:56 am to
Never, because my passage to manhood was when I battled my Dad to a draw. He wasn't the type to worry about my feelings so I knew it was legit.
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