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re: Dads, when / should you let your son best you?
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:12 am to Kujo
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:12 am to Kujo
Never. Of course don’t beat them without giving them instruction on how they get better. My son thinks he’s fast but I still smoke him but as we’re racing I usually shout out some pointers and then make sure he knows I’m at a supreme advantage due to my legs being almost twice as long as his. The day will come when he is faster, probably 3 or 4 years so I’ll let him earn it. It will actually be a pretty special moment I think.
I used to dominate him in soccer (which is his sport) but he can legit smoke me with the ball now. Kid has some moves and is way faster with his first step.
I used to dominate him in soccer (which is his sport) but he can legit smoke me with the ball now. Kid has some moves and is way faster with his first step.
1
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:13 am to Robin Masters
Just never.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:19 am to fishfighter
Let him win? What kind of Nancy crap is that. Might as well give him a participation trophy while you are at it. A kid should win when they actually win. It does absolutely no good to teach someone they can 'win' at something when they actually aren't very good.
You need to teach them to work harder to actually be the best.
You need to teach them to work harder to actually be the best.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:22 am to Kujo
quote:
At what point do you start letting the little one win to boost confidence?
When he earned it. He appreciates that fact now.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:25 am to baldona
quote:
You need to teach them to work harder to actually be the best.
Perhaps the most important lesson they can learn. Humility and hard work go hand in hand. I was always told I was smart so I never thought I had to work. Terrible thing to do to a kid.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 7:33 am to Mahootney
quote:
This is a great way to reinforce the benevolent father theme in their mind. You could crush them in everything if you wanted. But you don't. Because you love them and they are important. And when they challenge that, you can put them down.
Right on, and for the record I’m talking about little kids. Like your rat example my kids realize it’s a “game” when they’re asking me to “race with them” or “ play me in football” (one on one where one tries to evade the other). After a little while they’ll even say something like “ok now run as fast as you can this time” and they’re amazed at how big the gap really is but also hold you in high esteem.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:07 am to Kujo
fricking never.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:17 am to Kujo
Delete
This post was edited on 6/16/18 at 8:20 am
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:40 am to St Augustine
My dad used to whip my arse in ping pong constantly. I played every night for probably a month straight to beat him. While I was trying hard, he nonchalantly returned every ball and beat me again. After another month of practicing, I finally won. You’d have thought I won the Super Bowl. 
I’m a firm believer in making your kids earn their wins. It’s ok to keep it competitive to keep them interested, but if you let your children always win you are missing out on great teaching lessons. Like how to win and lose graciously, good sportsmanship, and work ethic.
I’m a firm believer in making your kids earn their wins. It’s ok to keep it competitive to keep them interested, but if you let your children always win you are missing out on great teaching lessons. Like how to win and lose graciously, good sportsmanship, and work ethic.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:51 am to gumbo2176
quote:
That made me laugh when I recalled how one of my cousins, at age 16, decided he was going to challenge his old man. My uncle kept 2 pairs of boxing gloves at the house for those times when his 4 sons would get on each other's nerves and a fight would break out.
My uncle put on one glove, the left, and put his right hand behind his back and they got after it, but only for a couple punches before my cousin quit. He had a broken nose and soon developed 2 black eyes for his effort. He never challenged his dad again.
What kind of crazy redneck insanity is this?
Posted on 6/16/18 at 8:58 am to Kujo
quote:
At what point do you start letting the little one win to boost confidence?
Honestly just a terrible idea.
True Story Alert:
I guess is was 7 and my Dad was dating a woman about a year after my mom had died. We were in our living room together and my Dad and I were playing chess. and as you can imagine, he was beating me pretty easily.
His girlfriend decided to say exactly what you just did...that he should let me win once.
We BOTH looked at her as if she was insane. Except it wasn't my dad that scolded her, it was me. I said something to the effect that it wouldn't be any fun if I beat him but he let me win. that there would have been no point in playing at all if when I won I wouldn't know if I had earned it or he had given up.
Yeah...don't ever do this. You'll be depriving your son of the joy of his deserving victory when he does eventually beat you in something.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:24 am to Kujo
They have to earn it
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:25 am to lsuson
quote:
He will get to that age when he stands up to you and then realizes he made a mistake.
Truth
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:49 am to Kujo
When he actually beat me.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:55 am to Kujo
Mine is 11 and we go at it wrestling all the time, I get on my knees.
Posted on 6/16/18 at 9:56 am to Kujo
Never, because my passage to manhood was when I battled my Dad to a draw. He wasn't the type to worry about my feelings so I knew it was legit.
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