re: Crucial job decision to make tomorrow *update page 5

TL/DR. TD Answer... Sleep with boss' wife, shite on his desk, and walk out

Francis, I would have thought that you'd check with French, Fitzy, and Delahunt before you came here.

My benefits are decent where I'm at currently. It's s wash to be honest. Not a major selling point.

I just keep thinking of the south, sweet tea, football, and the hot Texas summer nights I love so much. Gonna be hard to leave this place!

sweet tea and football exist in other places and it's hard to believe you'll actually miss the Texas heat once you experience seasons

$60k with a family in Colorado is gonna have you pretty damn poor here. Housing is pretty damn high and so is cost of living. I love living here and hope I never have to move but 60k isnt gonna go far here. Does your wife work?

Sometimes you have to take a step back to take two forward. I've done it twice and both worked out great. I'm with you on hating the cold weather. I was stuck in Kansas for two years. It was worth it in the end. Good luck!

Can your household function on $600-$700 less cash a month?

If not, tell the potential company that and give them a chance to sweeten the offer.

Best case scenarios for working your way up your career ladder entail at least a 10% pay bump when switching companies. Is that possible over the next year at least?

Once you are on board, usually the chance for rapid raises goes away. I'd "flinch" tomorrow and counter to forget the December vacation if they can make this a true horizontals salary move.

It's not as cold as you think. I've actually been colder in Louisiana in the winter than Colorado because they have so much lower humidity.

I feel you have another option that makes more sense. First off, moving away from family and friends for less money makes zero sense. Eventually, you will regret the distance you put between yourself and family.

I believe you're being motivated by a personality conflict. You can overcome this. Obviously, you're valued. You should take this opportunity to go to your current employer's leadership and express your concerns. Tell them you're being recruited with an offer on the table. You do not tell them it is a pay cut! YOU CAN'T LOSE BY DOING THIS. Understand? You already have an offer to fall back on. Express your desire to grow in the position, but let them know that your desire is tempered by how you're shown that you're appreciated. Ask for a $10,000 raise. Tell them in exchange that you want to take some training and certification classes that will position you for better options in the company.

The cost to hire and train a replacement for you, not to mention the loss of productivity from your absence until someone is hired, will be a motivating factor for them. You are actually in a very good position of strength having the other offer.

Look at it this way. Think about what it must be like to have a wife at home. Every now and then, you have a fight. Keeping the relationship good requires work. One day, a cute honey comes into your life and there's an attraction. You are being tested. You must make that distinction between what is attractive and what is best. In most cases, what is best is the hardest, and requires work. What is easiest and attracting can be fleeting and turn out not to be in your best interests.

My take? A quick piece of arse isn't worth the upheaval in your marriage and a $60k job isn't worth the upheaval to your life, either. You have already built a solid foundation to be close to family and are building a career. Take charge and make the job work for you instead of letting the job work you. Stand up for yourself and have confidence in your worth and value. I say stick with it and creatively turn this situation around to improve your job and career. Taking a 15% pay cut and upheaval? That's just quitting and looking for a way out without trying to fix the current situation.